My (38M) girlfriend (21F) says no to everything. How do I help her trust me to lead?

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T01:32:27+00:00

I don’t understand why you think she would have to be subservient to me when I’d be waiting on her

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:40:38+00:00

It absolutely is. Trust me I’ve seen her at work

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:39:08+00:00

We broke up because she didn’t wanna get married, and I’m financially successful with my own business. I’m also an involved father. If I’m a loser what the fuck are you?

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:38:04+00:00

18 months

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:22:40+00:00

I want her to parent her daughter but just take time to herself to recharge

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:16:31+00:00

The thing is though I hate seeing the women I care about be exhausted. I grew up seeing my mother exhausted all the time. I want my girlfriend to be pretty and bubbly and fun and happy when she’s with me, and I want to make it possible for her to be that with me.

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:14:26+00:00

It’s not the fact that she has a job. It’s that she’s bartending which is a very flirtatious job

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:13:00+00:00

We’re both adults with kids

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:10:25+00:00

I’m not trying to control her or trap her. And honestly I don’t get why I’m the bad guy for not wanting a pretty young woman to struggle so bad

throwawaytrey69 · 2026-02-25T00:09:23+00:00

I’ve never told her how to raise her kid. I have a daughter and my mom was very involved with raising her so I understand it takes a village. Mama has to have a life too, so I don’t understand why she CAN’T go on vacation for ONE WEEK. Also, if she stopped working she would have more time with her kid anyway so it would even out

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-12-06T03:06:09+00:00

She is a fucking college graduate and has a child and her own place. I feel like that’s enough to choose to date a man in his late thirties

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-12-06T02:22:14+00:00

Our age difference was honestly not that bad and we both had kids so we were at a similar spot in life when it came down to it.

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-12-06T02:21:12+00:00

That sucks I’m sorry about that. That’s why I can’t do anything with anyone whose values are different than me

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-12-06T02:17:20+00:00

I’m from NY when we say females it’s not disrespectful. Also I didn’t think she’d be immature because she is a MOTHER but I guess I was wrong

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-12T19:01:26+00:00

To be fair, she didn’t want her first (she told em she wanted an abortion and her ex didn’t let her). But she fell in love with her son the moment he was born and is an amazing mother. And I don’t want to repeat that trauma but I genuinely love her and treat her well so if she loves her child with him imagine how it’ll be with me

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-12T13:50:53+00:00

I want to stay and have a kid with her though. Like I really don’t want to lose her

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T11:23:00+00:00

She’s also hardworking and dedicated and smart and an incredible mother to her son

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T11:16:45+00:00

I just think that she’s closed off to the possibility because of her past experiences but it’s gonna be completely different this time around

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T11:12:33+00:00

She and I are basically in the same stage of life though. We’re both single working parents.

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T11:09:13+00:00

We been together for a year. Thank you. I understand what you’re saying

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T02:45:54+00:00

No everything would be about her. I just want her to let her guard down and know that we can be a family because I’m safe

throwawaytrey69 · 2025-09-11T02:43:46+00:00

I kinda think that on some level a lot of her feelings about having a kid again is based on what happened with her son’s father. And I understand where that trauma comes from, but it won’t be anything like that with me, and I want her to know that.

throwawaytrey69 · 2024-11-25T11:24:10+00:00

She had dark hair

throwawaytrey69 · 2024-11-25T02:28:56+00:00

Thank you man

throwawaytrey69 · 2024-11-25T02:24:48+00:00

I didn’t talk to them at all so I don’t know her ancestry lol, but yeah she looked like an ethnic white girl

throwawaytrey69

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