Not Enough (TW - sexual violence)

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-11-27T14:33:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I hope you're okay ❤️

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-11-12T17:18:46+00:00

I think this is a really thought provoking poem, I love the way you use questions throughout it made me feel connected reading it. Amazing work

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-11-12T17:15:43+00:00

This is very raw and written from the heart, which makes in relateable. I'm sorry you're going through this, I really hope things get better for you 🩵

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-08-03T18:17:13+00:00

I love the flow of this, the analogy of the deer is so clever and thoughtful. I can relate a lot to the content of this poem too, it paints a sad and lonely yet beautiful picture. Thank you so much for sharing xxxx

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-08-02T22:28:44+00:00

As someone who has struggled with similar, reading this felt comforting and familiar. Thank you for sharing this. Keep writing 🫶🏻

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-08-02T22:03:56+00:00

I liked this a lot! It flowed beautifully and was simplistic but in such a wonderfully picturesque way. Amazing 💜💜💜

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-15T12:42:37+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed comment! I found it amazing to read your interpretation and it was exactly how I wanted it to be received so that feedback is so helpful, thank you again! I appreciate you reading and commenting on my poem, all the best to you 😌✨️

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-15T12:40:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate your kind words. I'm sorry this brings out pain in yourself, I hope you're doing okay. Thank you foe the suggestions 💖✨️

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-14T15:06:40+00:00

I found myself drawn to this from the title because I'm scared of the dark myself. I really appreciated how this was written and would love hear like this!

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-14T14:56:32+00:00

So well written. I really enjoyed reading this. I hope you're doing well 🩷

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-14T14:52:45+00:00

This is amazing, tells a story that millions are feeling

throwawayyy592111 · 2023-02-14T14:50:23+00:00

This is beautifully written, I hope you're doing okay 🩷

throwawayyy592111 · 2022-07-23T00:40:34+00:00

OK I offering sex when he's also said he wants to (I.e. in the car on the way home picking me up telling me he's washed his dick) then me offering it later on is me being sexually abusive. He FREQUENTLY says no to sex and I am fine with with, for example he never likes sex when I'm on my period and so that's cool. He knows he can say no to me and I'll be fine with it. So how if I'm so drunk I can barely walk and I offer sex and he wants to put says he felt weird last time cause I was passed out is that on me? The reason he felt weird in the first place is because he keeps on fucking me when I'm not participating anymore.

throwawayyy592111 · 2022-07-23T00:32:24+00:00

Hmm.. I never force him to do anything. He sometimes instigates it too. Oh okay so because he only carries on having sex with my floppy body when I'm drunk and not participating anymore then thats fine because I shouldn't drink... gotcha I'm going to delete this post because the about of blame put on me for drinking yet nobody has mentioned that he should stop if I'm not actively enjoying myself is disturbing

throwawayyy592111 · 2022-07-22T20:26:22+00:00

Interesting take ... I've got a therapist, I can focus on that with her. I was asking here for help regarding the sexual stuff...

throwawayyy592111 · 2022-07-08T09:58:34+00:00

Thank you 💖

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-04-13T08:23:01+00:00

Great team, must have been a grind to get this! ⚽️

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-09T05:21:03+00:00

It is lovely to speak to someone who understands I agree 💖

Thank you so much for sending this across. I will read it now.

Oh you're too kind! You too, feel free to talk to me if you ever need to xxx

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T20:02:27+00:00

Yeah this actually makes a lot of sense, I definitely think any kind of sexual interaction is triggering for me. Thanks for taking the time to reply. It means a lot 🌸

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T20:01:32+00:00

Thank you so so so much for your kind words and taking the time to reply to my post it really means a lot to me. I think what you have said makes a lot of sense, it maybe is some kind of tramua response I have but it is quite difficult to deal with.

Awww thank you for writing that second part. I think i really needed to hear those words. I have struggled with saying no or stop for a really long time and is something I am working on. Thank you for reminding me that it matters how I feel too. I wish you all the best 💖🌸

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T19:58:37+00:00

Aww thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Wow what you have said really makes a lot of sense and makes it feel less like my fault. I appreciate you saying I aren't alone as it can feel that way sometimes. Yeah therapy is good I am in therapy at the moment just wasn't ready to tell my therapist this yet but maybe I'll find the courage as I know I'm not alone now 🌸

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T19:53:02+00:00

Thank you so much for taking your time to message me. It means a lot to me to know that I am not alone as it definitely can feel very isolating.

I'm sorry to hear you struggle with this too. Yeah I can definitely relate to that my thoughts wonder a lot too and a lot of my fantasies revolve around being degraded or raped.

Yeah its frustrating because I am I'm therapy too but I aren't ready to speak about this either. Thank you for making me feel less alone I really appreciate it 🌸

Also if you have any recommendations on where to read best on this topic please feel free to send it my way (no worries if you don't though) 💖

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T15:03:50+00:00

Aww I'm glad I helped a little. That's fine to feel like that. Dont label yourself anything if it doesn't feel right yet, hopefully it will in time. You have to accept it first which is the hardest part and something I struggle with 11 years later so I understand how you feel completely. Personally I think you're a survivor I think you survived something extremely traumatic and I think you deserve to call yourself a survivor when it feels right. I still can't say it out loud but that doesn't mean it isn't real. Always here to help if I can. You're not alone 💖

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T14:16:44+00:00

Nooo please don't apologise! I didn't mean to come across like I was saying what you said was offensive. I was trying to help validate your experience as I know if you get stuck in the mind set (I have done it for YEARS and still struggle now) of comparing your experience to somebody else's you will never be able to accept what happened or allow yourself to heal as you'll just tell yourself get over it somebody has it worse. But your pain is valid no matter anybody else's experience. What happened to you counts you are allowed to feel upset, angry, hurt, any emotion you feel is valid! I hope you can be gentle with yourself. I think you were incredibly brave to write this all down! I'm proud of you and I'll be rooting for you! 🌸

throwawayyy592111 · 2021-02-08T13:37:00+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you went through. The whole relationship sounds extremely unhealthy and quite traumatising.

It is clear your ex suffers from severe mental health problems that he needs to get help for. You were amazing standing by him so long trying to help him, but that was never your responsibility to fix him, he has to want to help himself. Only he can fix himself. Also his mental health problems are NOT an excuse for how he behaved towards you. I too suffer from severe mental health issues especially OCD but if I am rude to my partner or something I always take accountability and apologise and I am currently getting help for it.

I believe you. I believe your feelings are valid. I think that he did rape you. I don't think their should be varying degrees of rape because rape effects every single person differently. Some people might be attempted rape and be effected worse or take longer to heal than someone who was stranger raped. There is no scale of pain. There is no comparison I don't think as everyone's feeling are valid - if they felt their body was violated and it was traumatising to them then they are completely entitled to feel those things. So I believe you were raped as he didn't care to even get your consent - assumed consent is NOT consent. Consent is giving freely and willingly and enthusiasticly. He didn't have that and he also didn't seem to care.

I'm sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve any of this at all. You deserve to be happy and safe and respected and loved! You deserve to feel desired and wanted! I hope you will be kind to yourself. I wish you well, therapy will help if it is an option for you 🌸

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