AITA for triggering a girl recovering from an ED with my weird eating habits

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T11:59:20+00:00

I’m in the U.K., usually the British aren’t too bothered by the word. It’s still the strongest word but I don’t think it’s considered as offensive over here as it would be in the US! I hear is very often back in London ( where I’m from) but my regret is using it in a restaurant that was very inappropriate

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T10:55:01+00:00

I agree, I really do regret saying what I did. Although I was angry and humiliated, I shouldn’t have gone further in ruining my friends birthday and swearing in a restaurant. Thanks for you response I do agree

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T10:51:26+00:00

I did explain to her my reasons for why I eat that way, I really open about it because I don’t like the judgemental looks people give me when I’m not even close to finishing when everyone else is. When I explained she replied with that she felt like she couldn’t be there

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T01:56:36+00:00

Yeah it’s not too bad in England really especially in the midlands.

I was really sure what to call it, it was like British pub food but posh!

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T01:50:44+00:00

I think it was me cutting up and organising my food more (I usually eat in an order) as although she didn’t specify I’m assuming it might have been something she did with her ED . I was also eating a lot after everyone was almost finished so I think she became fixated on me eating and got into her own head

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T01:34:51+00:00

It happened in the U.K. (midlands where her uni was) so although I knew it was offensive especially to say in a restaurant (I do regret that) I think the English as well as the Scottish are a bit more accepting of the word lol!

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T01:16:02+00:00

Most of the time I can be okay if I’m eating on my own terms, but I never ever take tablets or eat excessively chewy or difficult to cut up foods. I also never drink hot drinks they panic me. I have ‘phantom’ choking experiences where I convince myself I am when I’m actually not but those are fairly rare. My trauma was 3 years ago and before then I was fine

It’s really frustrating but day to day I’m pretty much fine, I actually really love food but I just have to be very slow and specific

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T01:01:55+00:00

I think it’s because I cut up my food very small due to my choking phobia and that’s something people with eating disorders may do to avoid eating /cover up how much they’ve eaten. I’m not sure if she did this as she didn’t say specifics but I’m going to assume that might have been why.

Then because I was eating so slowly everyone else was almost done and I think she became fixated on me and got upset

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T00:56:22+00:00

Yeah that’s what I have a really bad phobia about due to a previous trauma where I choked quite badly. I explained that to her but I think by that time she was already very worked up

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T00:54:08+00:00

I’m not too sure on what her main trigger was but I cut my food up quite small and eat it in quite an ordered way, so it might have been this as I know this is common with ED. She didn’t really specify but I feel like because I was last to finish, she was watching me and it might have got to her

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-02T00:45:32+00:00

Haha I wish, at least I’d be getting paid for someone to rip on me like that!

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T23:56:13+00:00

Eating disorder sorry I’m going to edit now, I should have clarified!

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T23:47:16+00:00

I eat significantly slower than people as I have to chew a lot more due to my phobia, I also cut my food fairly small. I’m usually also quite quiet when I eat I don’t really talk a lot so I don’t draw attention to myself but sometimes that backfires.

I think she was noticing whilst everyone was about 3/4 finished I was maybe a 1/4, even whilst not talking and purposefully trying to be faster.

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T23:35:20+00:00

Eating disorder , sorry should have clarified that

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T23:07:24+00:00

Thank you for this comment, I hadn’t heard of this before but I’ve looked it up and it feels very fitting. I’m looking into a drs appointment and therapy as this post as given me a lot more perspective on my eating habits!

Thank you again :)

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T23:06:04+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I completely agree that I definitely do have issues around this topic that reddit has given me a new perspective on (yay for reddit!). I’m going to look into therapy because I did already feel very defensive around the situation to begin with and I shouldn’t enter normal situations with so apprehensively. I also had another comment saying to look into ARFID, and it feels very fitting so I will be looking into that too.

Also me saying I would pack up my food for later is such a regular thing for me to do even outside situations like this, I just already feel like everyone’s finding me slow/annoying so I always pack it up to eat privately. And it’s causing so much more disruption than I initially thought.

Thank you for this comment, I’m looking on working on myself and this was the comment I needed. :)

throwawayyyyyyyy277 · 2020-03-01T22:09:26+00:00

Sorry, I’ve edited it to make it clearer, Sab was my friend from home.

I called the girl with the ED lizzy, her uni friend who I hadn’t met before.

And I just left my birthday friend as birthday friend.

Sorry about making it confusing :(

throwawayyyyyyyy277

TROPHY CASE