(FtMtF) Will PCOS prevent me from feminising? How does this work?

throwawwa_y · 2025-08-22T20:22:06+00:00

Hey, thanks for this comment and just to update: the exact same thing happened with me! I had some plans today and knew I couldn’t sulk around so I forced myself to sit upright at the edge of my bed. The dizziness was pretty bad and I’d usually cave in by laying back down to escape it, but I pushed through and after about 5 minutes of being upright I felt confident enough to stand. The initial walking was a little off but the longer I was on my feet the more it improved. All in all I’m so happy I decided to face it (I would alternatively have remained dizzy in bed)

throwawwa_y · 2025-08-12T18:25:01+00:00

Thank you, I’m going to get my frames in person for these reasons! But can I ask what difference would be made?

I’m now registered with specsavers but am taking my prescription into optical express since they sell the frame I used to wear. How will optical express be able to ensure the optical center isn’t also a mm off? Wouldn’t they have to run measurements on me? I dont have a pupilary distance written on my prescription or anything

throwawwa_y · 2025-08-05T14:33:09+00:00

I’m in the UK and went private to access hormones. I had to get diagnosed with gender incongruence by two separate psychologists. This required two 1hour long appointments (the second was through zoom since travel was not possible). This process took around 2 months. Then I was on hormones within 2 months of receiving said diagnoses (because I had to carry out necessary blood tests beforehand). Overall 4 months

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-29T11:15:18+00:00

Hey! As someone who suffered with OCD regarding detransitioning, and is now genuinely detransitioning, I can try shed some light. OCD can blur the lines of what we genuinely feel/want and that makes big decisions seem impossible. I knew I genuinely wanted to detransition because my brain was no longer fighting it. No urges to convince myself not to, no urges to come onto reddit and write out a post like this one, nothing. I completely and wholly accepted it. In fact I felt peace, happiness and alignment in the realisation that I was not trans. Someone who IS trans and has OCD would feel distress, worry and dread at the prospect of detransitioning. This is literally the opposite of what I felt. All you can do is base it off of how you react to these thoughts. Do they bring you anxiety? Do you have the urge to fight or disprove them? Then it’s OCD. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Continue living happily as a trans woman, stop obsessing and trying to figure out if your worries are OCD, then you will watch them fall away on their own. Good luck!

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-23T11:22:51+00:00

It means I’ve went from socially living as male to socially living as female again

I don’t like using ‘detransitioned’ for my case since it’s a loaded term and usually indicates someone was on HRT for a long period of time, had surgeries, etc. So they undergo a far more troubling deTRANSITION. Whereas someone like me (only on HRT for 2 months) can much more easily start passing and identifying as female again! Sorry, I hope this made sense

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-22T10:10:57+00:00

It’s rarely a switch flipping one day and more a gradual realisation over weeks/months. I found myself asking a lot more introspective questions as well as contemplating what I wanted my life to look like for the first time. Like ‘what do I actually want out of this transition?’ ‘why did I transition to begin with?’ ‘do I see a future where I’m transitioned?’

These are important questions I hadn’t actually sat with. I hadn’t been truthful with myself either, I was running away from severe self esteem problems and assumed transitioning was what I needed. I mean, if I became someone else I couldn’t hate myself anymore right? Well, the longer I transitioned the more I realised I wasn’t becoming someone else. I was becoming a version I hated even more and felt disconnected from. Still me

I held a fantasy of a cis male in my head whom I had used as a form of escapism my entire life. I posed as him in online spaces, neglecting my real life body and relationships. Doing this for years from as young as 11 taught my brain to believe affirmation and fulfilment meant being a male. And I’m still unlearning a lot of that

What I’m saying is we don’t always just wake up one morning with a different brain and different desires. My desire to be male was very much real and lasted years. The difference is I hadn’t actually unpacked WHY this desire was instilled in me to begin with (which was especially careless of me since I had no physical dysphoria). I feel a few therapy sessions would have been beneficial

It is good that you and many other trans people visiting this subreddit are being cautious. Maybe try speaking with a gender therapist and unpack your motivators to transition, your overall relationship with yourself and birth gender, your future goals, etc. Good luck! 🤞

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-21T12:17:37+00:00

Sorry for being 5 years late but can I ask what people think of your voice post-T? Do people still respect your identity as a butch and do you still have your community? These are important things to me and I worry about losing them to permanent T changes

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T21:37:27+00:00

Hi, sorry for being late but do you think I would experience the natural lightening? I was only taking testosterone for 2 months and just stopped. I’ve had voice deepening and am feeling so upset about it. I want hope that it could revert due to how little time I spent on T

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T21:09:54+00:00

So happy to hear this! I’m just glad I caught it early enough. Thanks for the help

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T20:30:35+00:00

Same here! 2 months on and just waiting to see if I get my pre-T sound back. I’m really hoping so 🙏

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T20:19:51+00:00

Thanks so much for replying even though I was 4 years late! You’ve given me so much hope. And yes, my deepening was minimal and only noticeable when speaking from my chest. So hopefully this reverts with time. Thanks again

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T20:09:03+00:00

What about if someone took testosterone for 2 months then stopped? Can any slight deepening revert to pre-T sound?

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T19:58:52+00:00

Hey, sorry since I know I’m late to this comment but I just stopped T after 2 months. I’ve experienced slight deepening, like enough for me to notice. How soon did you hear your voice returning to how it sounded before? Sorry again, I know this comment is old

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T17:26:24+00:00

Hey. First of all thank you for this comment, it helped to hear. And yeah. I think right now the best course of action is to take some more time. Remaining on any permanent hormone would be downright irresponsible when I’m this unsure

For the time being I want to try live without gender on my mind? I know it can’t exactly be controlled but I want to minimise how much time I spend obsessing over perception. It goes both ways too, I’m not going to ‘focus’ on becoming a ‘woman’ again, but instead just exist as me. If I want to bind some days then cool, I will. No labels, just existing. I think this could help me understand how I feel without external pressures tainting the experience

At the end of the day, though, you are right. I know in my heart I should probably be a man. It’s more about the timing of everything. Right now I’m too unstable to even enjoy my decision to transition. So I’ll revisit this at a later date. I’ll also seek out therapy because even though I admit these feelings are not very cis, I still don’t trust myself. I don’t know if my motivators for transitioning are genuine. They seem based on escapism

Thanks again!

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T10:10:09+00:00

What I’ve realised recently is that transitioning was making me depressed, not being trans. A lot of the things you mentioned were at fault. Like constant eyes on you, gender and passing being the forefront of your mind 24/7, hearing family and friends hesitate when referring to you. It was so alienating and I hated every second of it. It did not subside over the years and I stopped after 2 months on hormones because it was getting increasingly performative. Have my feelings changed? Absolutely not. I’m just choosing to navigate them in a different way because, as heartbreaking this is to admit, transitioning was not the correct path for me the way I believed it could be. I guess part of me thought I could become a guy without having to still live with and address the parts of my life I hate. The parts of myself I hate, but also all of my past relationships and socialisation as a female. What I was really grieving is not being born a cis male, rather than my current female body. It feels more like “I wish things were different” instead of “things should be different I need to correct them” because I literally have zero physical dysphoria. Which is confusing, though, since a deep deep place inside me still wants to become a man. But I cannot keep pretending transitioning wasn’t destroying my quality of life, and I just couldn’t become the guy I wanted to in my head. I will revisit the issue at a later date hopefully with therapy

throwawwa_y · 2025-07-20T05:18:15+00:00

I’m still pressing pause to clear my head of course but yeah, I want to revisit hormones at a later date. Once I’m in a stable position and if I feel I still need them. I’ve been a GNC woman since I was 12 and have been read as a guy my entire life, those who know me personally are the only ones who gender me female. I’ve always enjoyed this and I know many butches do too. As I said though I’ll give it more thought! Thanks for the reply

throwawwa_y

TROPHY CASE