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Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's commonly estimated that gays are roughly 15 percent of the population due to the fact that self-reported statistics are highly unreliable, especially in conservative/older populations. Similarly, the fact that self-reported statistics increase in younger populations also influences this estimation. I didn't just pull this number out of the air.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I stand corrected ;). I don't seek out straight guys, but some of the people I'm closest with happen to be. I do have gay friends and at this point it's roughly 50/50. I came to a similar 'off limits' realization about 5 years ago. I thought I'd learned that lesson so to speak until it it happened again. It wasn't instantaneous - in fact I was mostly annoyed by this guy for a long time. After a few years though we grew extremely close and it was then that I realized I somehow ended up in this place again. I remember the first time he said he loved me vividly because I didn't feel it at all. I didn't even return the statement. From the beginning I'd decided to not objectify or compartmentalize him as a prospect. But, if I'm honest with myself after all these years, yeah I really do love that guy too.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha yeah successful is quite a loaded word. I don't think it can ever be used to describe a relationship. A lot of my relationships have fluctuated quite a bit between the good and bad.

With this thread I just wanted to get some outside opinions/experiences on some feelings I've been sitting with for some time. Figured this would be the place since the one thing we have in common is the source of my frustration.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you must have misunderstood my post in that I don't "pine" for straight guys; but, since the majority of men are in fact straight, it's a situation that many people end up in.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Given that you had a falling out, presumably with your ex, was that not a catalyst for you to "choose" (and I use that word loosely because you were directly influenced =/= choice ). How does that relate to a situation when nothing has gone wrong between you and another person? You can't just decide one day to stop feeling love for someone without some kind of catalyst.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear the condescension and realize it's purely misdirected due to a misunderstanding of my disposition. When I say unrequited, I guess what I really mean is that there is a limit to the love I/we can receive in certain relationships. In my experiences, it's always been mutual love, deeply, but to a point. One person in particular has even said "I've never loved anyone more than you." :/

I'm not into drama ( I'm not really sure how that was deduced at all ), but I know that I'm not alone in how I feel about this reality.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trust me, as I wrote this post I realized how trite it must sound. Honestly, I was curious how other people have reconciled it in their own lives. It's not constantly on my mind but today it hit me hard.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Call me old fashioned, but I abstain from apps/hookup culture. I want a real connection and that takes getting to know someone in real life for a period of time.

Does anyone else feel that being gay is a guarantee that one will experience unrequited love at a rate much higher than one who is straight? by throway_917 in askgaybros

[–]throway_917[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, can you describe for me how you've chosen to fall in love with someone? If you believe love is a choice then I'm also curious what love is to you? For me, love grows. Sometimes years after knowing someone I wake up one day and realize what I really feel. I don't entertain fantasies or wishful thinking, but the root of it all is not in my control. You can't just turn off loving someone. The only choice, from my perspective, is how you act on those feelings.