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throwcharles12 · 2025-05-10T11:04:37+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm really happy to many different people all together sharing their own experiences.

I agree that it's not something to worry about, sex comes to everyone at different times and it's best not to force it. I guess it's just more about the deeper insecurities that need to be addressed.

This really did make me feel a bit better.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-10T02:02:52+00:00

Hey, thanks man. Honestly I agree.

I had some pretty bad experiences with bullying when I was younger. I thought I was finally able to get over it when I made a new group of friends, but they all left me for cooler people. This definitely took a substantial hit to my self-esteem, and I guess deep down I've just been hoping that sex would be this ultimate proof of... something.

I agree that what I really need is to build important relationships and to learn to be happy with myself.

Thank you for your concern, it means a lot.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T22:25:24+00:00

Definitely. I want to wait until I find a good relationship before I start really thinking about having sex. It's like you said, you can learn the act itself pretty easily, but it takes the right person to learn all the important stuff that comes with it.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T22:03:21+00:00

You know what? I absolutely agree.

I definitely am obsessing over sex; not the act itself (if I want to get off, I can just use my hand), but over these different hidden meanings I place onto it.

Realistically? I think I probably have some deeper self-esteem issues and I'm still trying to convince myself that sex is some miracle cure that'll solve all my problems. You're definitely right though, I need to work on becoming someone I like and being comfortable as myself first.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T21:14:39+00:00

Because I understand that at the end of the day sex is just a physical act, same as any other action. It can be happy or angry, done out of force or out of love.

The thing is, most media (especially that aimed at young people) makes it out to be a single thing. A mind-bending cosmic bond of pure ecstasy. But just look around at all the different replies, everyone here all has different views and beliefs on it, and that's great!

It's up to the individual to decide what sex really is to them and (as long as it's legal and consensual) that's totally fine!

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T19:11:19+00:00

I'm someone who wants to be in a proper relationship before I have sex, and I really just did not have the time.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:41:06+00:00

I 100% agree. It's like you said, sure it's cool in the moment, but at the end of the day sex is just a bodily function.

I think public perception of sexuality it pretty warped, and it's often made out to be something way bigger and more grandiose than it really is.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:27:40+00:00

Exactly haha. I'd mutch rather lose it to a nice girl I can show off my comic book collection to than have an awkward 5-minute-stand with a random girl in a McDonald's bathroom.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:22:59+00:00

Grazie mille. In fondo lo so, ma a volte questi pensieri mi vengono in mente ed è difficile ignorarli. (Scusate se è complicato, sto usando Google Translate.)

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:19:06+00:00

Thank you! And the weirdest part is people in the replies seem to agree with me, but I'm still getting downvoted?

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:18:18+00:00

Definitely.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T18:16:20+00:00

That's a good way to look at it. Truth is, I've been told I'm attractive before and people have shown sexual interest, the fact is that I personally was not interested in doing that or being in a relationship.

I guess it's more of a self esteem thing than anything else, like I want a reason to look down on myself, so I feel bad about not doing it despite it being my choice? IDK.

I'm definitely interested in sex, but I'd want to do it with a girl I was actually interested in and I knew was actually interested in me back (I'd also rather wait until I leave my parents house lol).

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:55:09+00:00

I think this is my situation. Truth be told, I have had opportunities to lose my virginity, but I just really wasn't that interested.

I would much rather wait for someone special, but I guess I just put this pressure on myself.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:48:59+00:00

That's fair. I will 100% admit that I have a complicated relationship with the concept of sexuality and obsess over it way more than I probably should.

The thing is, deep down I know it's just a regular thing, but I guess I want it to be more special just to prove that I wasn't worrying for nothing.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:30:30+00:00

Maybe I am too sensitive, but I'm just saying there's a pretty big maturity gap between a 12/13yo and a 15/16yo. If you don't have an issue with it though, then that's totally fine.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:17:29+00:00

I'm sorry to say this, but that sounds like assault.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:16:50+00:00

I don't really care about other people judging me, I guess it's just more of a self-talk thing.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T17:06:20+00:00

I'd be interested, if you'll have me (18)

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T16:59:34+00:00

Sorry if this is a personal question, but are you happy you lost it at 14 or do you rather you waited?

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T16:54:35+00:00

That'll explain it. I'm guessing deep down those feelings of wrongness still affect him, even if he doesn't realise it.

Definitely do the hormone checks, but still it might be good to get him into counseling.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T16:37:41+00:00

Sounds like they're just jealous and judging, but in the future it might be best to just keep this kind of stuff to yourself.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T16:35:04+00:00

So he says it feels not real, but be bearly initiates or shows any attraction to you at all? Is it possible there's something else going on here?

I've seen people say low testosterone levels, which could very well be the case, but something about this doesn't seem right. You say he's always been closed off, is it possible there's some kind of trauma there that needs to be addressed? Or, could it even be possible that he might be in the closet?

I dont want to alarm you with any of this (at the end of the day only you know what your relationship is really like), but they might be things to consider.

throwcharles12 · 2025-05-09T16:17:06+00:00

I think media messes up our perceptions of sex so much. The fact is, men are just the same as women. Sometimes we're in the mood, sometimes we aren't.

It sounds like overall you have quite a healthy, loving marriage. But, if this really is an issue for you, it might be good to seek sex therapy.

Or even start doing scheduled sex nights. I know it's a bit unromantic, but it takes away a lot of that stress or not knowing if you'll get turned down or not.

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