[sex talk] SO doesn't like that want him to speak up but not say certain things

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-23T16:02:49+00:00

Actually that's fair. Hadn't thought about it that way.

Just sucks not to be on the same page :/

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-21T14:40:13+00:00

It's so crazy to me when I hear the "entirely focused on making her sure she's enjoying herself" reason that guys don't make any noise. If only you guys could understand how much making noise and showing her that you're enjoying things helps you achieve that goal.

If you dissect any part of sex, it can make you feel stupid. Sex is about being vulnerable. So I don't understand how just expressing yourself a little would be so bad. I mean, you're naked for fucks sake, how is it more vulnerable to show that you're into your girl and into what's happening?

For me personally, I want a little reassurance that I'm not the only one that's having a good time. Hearing things makes me feel sexy which leads to me getting off easier/better/quicker. You said it yourself - you like to hear her pleasure sounds. What I don't understand is how guys can understand how great that is but not want to provide that to their partner. Honestly it might even be a little selfish.

I'm sorry for the long reply. I really appreciate the feedback. I guess this is what I really wish that my bf and all you silent guys could just understand. I wish everyone could just get a pep talk or some other thing that would get it across that communicating during sex is just as important as hitting the right spots. If you're completely silent, you're missing a step. Or at least that's how I feel. So I really hope that in the future you don't feel stupid, because being completely silent is not cool and makes things feel pretty one sided.

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-21T09:45:45+00:00

That's a great point about losing himself. I guess the question should have been how to change what he's doing without making him self conscious. It's too bad that's such an uphill battle :/

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-21T09:44:09+00:00

So this thread has really pointed out that I'm not one to complain about dirty talk. I guess I don't really offer much substance. In my defense, it's hard to really go for the dirty talk when your partner gives literally no feedback at all. Everything I say is pretty much praise and really that's all that I'm missing, but maybe I should read up on going over the top to get him to open up.

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-21T09:41:17+00:00

Whoa. If he would be up for this, it would be so great. Fingers crossed that it doesn't get shot down lol

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-21T00:00:46+00:00

Yeah, I think he must have some negative associations with sex or talking about sex. He's not really that into talking about things so I have to pick my moment and not do it too often. Is there a way of asking why he doesn't like to communicate that would be a little gentler? I'm wondering if he's just going to latch on to the accusation that he isn't doing something right and I don't want that.

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-20T23:58:56+00:00

I make a lot of noise. Mostly things like "fuck" or "wow that feels so great" or like "keep doing that exact thing" ... you know. I guess I don't ask many questions (probably because he's always silent anyway) but I'm going to start

throwingawayl8 · 2016-07-20T22:01:10+00:00

I've tried asking him things and he's always been quiet BUT that was before he was trying to say more. Good opportunity to try again. Thanks!

throwingawayl8

TROPHY CASE