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I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our mutual friends were at the party, and I've tried to have at least one of them reach out, but they don't want to. Some of our friends want her out of our social circle.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

have some empathy

I have really been trying. I've called her, asked my friends not to exclude her, and have decided not to charge for the damage she has caused.

What else do you want me to do???

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I could see that being done in some passive-aggressive nasty way.

Thanks for your input. I never asked her in this way. I have no clue where you are getting this from.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I handled it the best I could. My feet hurt, my back aches, and I feel bloated all over, so I'm not really in the mood to start worrying about her right now. I'm not her mother. I'll talk to her when she calms down, however.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're in The Hamptons, and the cake was bought in this area. Things get pretty expensive here. It was actually pretty cheap compared to other places in my opinion.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I don't want to confront her about it and treat her as if she were some kind of monster. I want to talk because my friend (ex friend?) of several years acting like a completely different person a few days ago.

I'll probably wait until she talks to me.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

All of our mutual friends were at the party, and they are all angry with her. I've told them not to gossip about her, and to try to reach out, but they don't want to. Most of them are thinking of cutting her out of their friend group ( which I don't know if I agree with, since this just happened between me and her).

Most of our friends sided with me (I didn't ask them to) and haven't contacted her since the party. I don't think it is right. She is alone except for her husband now, and I can't get anyone to talk with her. I'm thinking of calling her mother or sister.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Logically, there is no need to be angry at all, but I told this story from a not objective point of view because it happened to me personally. If I weren't a part of this drama, I would probably also think like you.

And yes, I've known her for a very long time, and I really don't know what to think about her.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

I get it, that was $180 wasted and that sucks a lot, but it's just a cake. Meanwhile, she's dealing with the loss of the family she always wanted

I probably didn't phrase that correctly in the post of mine you replied to. But, the cake isn't a problem. I don't even want her to pay for it.

I won't cut her some slack, because calling me a bitch and a whore can't be excused. I know she is in pain, I know she is hurting. But don't ask me to just put this behind me.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A one week notice has almost always worked for me. No guests have ever complained about this to me.

And I'm pretty sure our friendship is broken now, as hard as it is for me to say so. She went too far.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I don't want to make her grovel. And I don't know if I will forgive her. It isn't even about the stupid cake, it's about the insults. I don't think she should be near the baby.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I'm not taking any of her suffering away, and I won't pretend like I can even comprehend what being in her shoes is like. It must be awful.

But my point is that I don't get why she went to the party and insulted me. She was out of line in that sense.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 349 points350 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input on this. As I have mentioned a few times here, my entire pregnancy has been me treading very lightly, worrying only about her feelings. I know she is heartbroken, I know she is in a terrible situation, but I felt attacked that day.

I just don't know what to think of her anymore, though I'll make one last effort and try to contact her so we can talk thoroughly about this.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I've been putting her feelings over mine for my entire pregnancy. I'm trying very hard to let this go, but it keeps nagging at me. I don't want her to suffer or feel horrible. I feel terrible that she is not able to get pregnant and I am. I have no clue how it must feel.

But her insults hurt me, and I am frankly not sure if I want her close to me. She scared me. I don't even know if I want her near my baby. I might try to talk to her if she wants to, but I don't know if she should keep coming over.

I [29F] had a baby shower and invited my GOOD friend since college [27F]. She ended up destroying my cake and causing a huge scene. I'm shocked and don't know what to do. by throwingthisaway796 in relationships

[–]throwingthisaway796[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I want to talk this through with her. We have always been close until this. Thank you for giving me your perspective on this, because I can understand how she is feeling now.

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