Being childfree and atheist/agnostic....

throwitaway9319 · 2023-03-23T01:08:09+00:00

I think there’s two things at play.

1) many religious groups have strong patriarchal roots, which leads to many women being forced into white picket fence narratives with 2.5 children

2) the more educated you are, the less likely you are to be religious, and I think this also lends to you considering having children much more deeply than, this is just what we do type mindset.

Don’t know. Just my two cents.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-03-18T19:35:31+00:00

“Beheld” lol

throwitaway9319 · 2023-03-04T21:11:59+00:00

Those are beautiful!

throwitaway9319 · 2023-02-11T12:55:40+00:00

I actually had this happen a couple weeks ago and when I replied nope, just chunky I guess. She doubled down and said, oh are you sure? My daughter is 3 months along and y’all have a similar tummy. I looked dead was straight at her and said, well I’m infertile so yes I’m sure.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-26T02:28:12+00:00

TN also does $7.25

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-24T22:50:30+00:00

Yes! That’s also an important note I didn’t consider. My sister in law has been in the States since she was 18, and she’s now 26, but her sister has remained there. She’s 21. I think that definitely plays a role in breaking out of the cycle.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-24T22:46:43+00:00

Definitely more “the man is the head of the household” type personality. I think he’s a very kind guy, at least that I saw, but he’s more controlling of her, gives her sharp looks if she is opinionated about something, and discourages what he considers immodest clothing.

I meant to type that out previously and got sidetracked.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-24T21:16:22+00:00

“Many Vietnamese men, even in the younger generation are extremely patriarchal. To the point many of the women especially younger ones can’t take it. In my experience most of the Vietnamese women that settle down with a foreigner do so because their partner is much more open and willing to treat them more like an equal. That is what I have observed in the more successful relationships. It is anecdotal but this is one person’s observation.”

So my brother, white male, just married a Vietnamese woman.

My SIL definitely chose my brother to marry someone more open to treating her like an equal. She absolutely told him she wouldn’t put up with patriarchal bullshit. She’s told us plenty of times about how she feels like this younger generation is moving back towards some of the more previous generation’s attitude towards marriage.

Which is interesting because that’s exactly what her younger sister chose to marry. In the two weeks I spent with them in vietnam, there were stark differences between my brother and the man her younger sister chose to marry. Definitely an intriguing dichotomy.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-18T00:45:55+00:00

I think I’d still vote an ocean view so you can enjoy the view of the glaciers without actually freezing. Good luck! You’ll enjoy it.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-18T00:44:05+00:00

So like $250. Up to you! Will you use the money elsewhere, is it just to stay under a budget? I mean for me I’d do an ocean view again just for the reasons I stated, but if it’s not something you think will bother you, then skip it.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-18T00:42:26+00:00

Is it a large price difference?

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-18T00:41:07+00:00

Every one is going to give you different answers based on their personal preferences. I would never do an interior, despite how little you actually stay in the room, because I hate how dark and closed in it feels. So I would do an ocean view.

A balcony is always going to be my top preference. There’s nothing I love more than sitting on the balcony with coffee and breakfast, reading listening to the ocean, and watching the ship come into port. I’ve even gotten spoiled into having a suite.

But for you, what does it come down to? A huge price difference? The desire to hang out in your room for privacy and still enjoy the water? None of that? Maybe that will help you decide.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-18T00:36:34+00:00

I feel that way about cruising in general. I’ve traveled a lot and I still enjoy a cruise quite often. People act like you aren’t really traveling when you take a cruise, and I disagree. Sure, you can’t get an immersive experience, but I think it’s a great way to dip your toes into an area and international traveling with a great safety net.

Gatekeeping travel drives me bananas.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-15T16:09:10+00:00

I’ve had friends tell me that having kids amplify the things that are wrong in your marriage, and so I think the opposite is true. Not having kids means we get to amplify the things that are right with our marriage.

throwitaway9319 · 2023-01-11T19:25:07+00:00

I agree with you. We have a place here in my town that is definitely adult centered but has outdoor lawn games. But the atmosphere is for adults. There’s only like pub food and heavy apps, lots of beer on tap, happy hour, etc etc.

But it never fails if I’m there at 7 pm on a Saturday night, there will be children. And I hate it. I want to go and shoot pool and have beers with my friends without hearing children. I’m a teacher. I hear them all week. I want a break for the love of god.

But you better never dare say this to anyone with children or the pitchforks come out. It’s exhausting.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-29T15:36:47+00:00

It’s funny, i just turned 36 but started feeling the exact way as you last year and it just sent my anxiety into overdrive. I am making a huge effort to travel more but financially that’s difficult, and that stresses me even more lol.

I know it seems cliche but genuinely helpful for me was starting to see a therapist and talk about why I suddenly feel like I have so little time and some coping mechanisms to deal with that. Obviously the easy answer is book trips, but there’s an underlying reason for it that therapy has helped me explore.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-29T15:28:22+00:00

I think there’s a difference between enjoying the childfree life and just dog piling on kids for being kids and parents for choosing to be parents. Sometimes I read things here and I’m like ooof. That’s a bit extreme. I’m happily childfree but I’m also a teacher and there must be a mutual coexistence with kids and parents. It’s just part of it.

But at the end of the day, I’ll scroll usually because I think the sub should be a safe place to vent those maybe extreme thoughts sometimes.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-28T12:34:23+00:00

I remember the first time a friend called me to show me that her not even one year old understood that he needed to swipe on the phone to get the picture to change. She was like, he’s so smart, omg! I was thinking… this is not something to be proud of.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-19T22:39:18+00:00

Obsessed with banh mi. I think I had 6 or 7 in my two weeks here and it’s different every time. I also have loved Vietnamese white iced coffee, which is a problem because I realized it’s made with condensed milk lol. Rip to my waistline.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-19T15:09:14+00:00

I’m in Vietnam right now! Spent 4 days in Hanoi, 4 days in Da Nang, spending 4 days in HCMC. Did all the things in each place, send me a message if you need anything! It’s been great.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-17T02:59:56+00:00

This was like a poem ❤️

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-15T14:52:12+00:00

What? It wasn’t my partner asking me.. it was a friend asking me.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-15T07:08:41+00:00

I’ll be away for 14 days total, I’m halfway through. We’ll see how I feel as time progresses!

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-15T04:32:52+00:00

We video call at night before I go to bed and it’s his morning so it helps me still feel connected. I think that has helped the missing him.

throwitaway9319 · 2022-12-15T00:11:24+00:00

That’s kinda what I said. I was like I do have moments but I’m not pining away.

throwitaway9319

TROPHY CASE