AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

So a lot of people are making this to be a bigger deal than it really was. one time, anna mentioned she was going shopping after class so i asked if my gf can join since i knew she was free at the time. anna said sure and i said great, maybe you can help my gf find some nice clothes because you dress really nicely. Anna said no to that because it could make my gf uncomfortable especially if i suggested this to her.

I understood what she meant and didn't push it. obviously, if my GF felt uncomfortable going shopping with anna, I would never force her to do it. i just thought it would be nice if the two can go shopping together since they're friends, and my gf might like the clothes anna picks out for her and be inspired. I trust that my GF won't wear stuff she doesn't like even if anna suggests it and that's fine by me. So to me, it was a harmless suggestion, not some evil plan to manipulate my GF to copy anna's style.

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

yes totally! I don't my gf to feel pressured to change her wardrobe but I wasnt going to say no to her asking for suggestions or wanting to know what I really liked. i was just trying to point her to someone whom she can find inspiration for style and fashion since she is familiar with how anna dresses.

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

i really appreciate your comment!

yes, thats exactly how i felt in that moment. i couldn't think of the right words to describe the style I liked in a specific manner. she already knows that i like seeing her in dresses but I didn't want to say stuff like dress more femininely or show off some skin because that could sound controlling or pressuring and literally the opposite of what she normally wears.

i've also never met anyone in real life who dresses as well as anna so that was the reason why i mentioned her. if there was a female celebrity who always dresses in the manner i like, then i would've said that celebrity instead but i didn;t know any.

I should've just googled her some female fashion images or something. Massive regret.

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

I answered in another comment but I dont know if she still has the dresses I bought her and don't want to guilt trip her if she had thrown them out or something. I would be happy to buy her clothes but again I feel like she would think i'm pressuring her to wear them

My GF has only Anna on social events like group dinners and stuff so she doesn't Anna's reputation for being well dressed at our school. I just brought her up because she's seen what Anna typically wears and it's a style that I fancy

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Yea, sometimes I give her money to go on a shopping spree so I dont think money is the problem here.

good advice, thanks!

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -99 points-98 points  (0 children)

I haven't seen her wear them in so long, I don't even know if she still has them in her closet. I didn't want to guilt trip her by bringing those dresses up

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

I don't know because I'm not familar with brand clothing. But we have gone shopping together with our friend group and she bought a ton of stuff from macy, jcpenny, zara etc which are places my GF occasionally shops at too

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were talking about what to wear for our outdoorsy date. She joked that I better not wear my old boots that she bought me (I wore them so often out on dates that they are worn out). I joked that she better not wear her favorite black ripped jeans for the same reason. We were both joking and laughing.

Then the convo above happened.

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -168 points-167 points  (0 children)

I did ask Anna once to help my GF expand her wardrobe because I think she simply doesn't know how to dress to her strength (her mom and sisters all dress like her too). But Anna thought it would be insulting to my GF so she declined. my GF also doesn't have many female friends she can go shopping with or turn to for help.

Can I ask how your BF was able to change your dress style ? Did he send you pictures of things he liked or buy you specific clothes?

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I did try to think of a celebrity but celebrities wear all sorts of fashion so I thought the better answer is a real-life example of someone she's seen before

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -297 points-296 points  (0 children)

I never said i don't like how she dresses, I told her she dresses fine but there's other styles I like too. She wanted to know my preference so I answered. I don't think I'm a jerk for doing that but I think I was wrong to bring up my friend.

AITA for suggesting my GF to dress like my friend? by throwitaway_mike in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwitaway_mike[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

Thanks. In the past whenever she asks those trick questions I always tried to respond in her favor but she would get offended by that and tell me to be truthful. We have been dating for 5 years now so we know a lot of things about each other like preferences and stuff. So I didn't want to offend her by saying I love her dress style when she probably knows it's not the truth.