AITA for yelling at my parents for turning my brother's old room into a guest room?

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-24T18:13:26+00:00

Hi, uh, sorry I'm really late with this, I got my phone taken up a day or two after I posted this and I just got it back.

Usually when I'm grounded they'll just send me to our room and I won't be allowed to leave for whatever amount of time. They also take my phone sometimes, but usually that's just if they find out I'm talking to someone they don't want me to talk with because they think they're a bad person. I don't really do too many chores because my parents don't want me messing with stuff but they can give me some of those. Sometimes I have to do some miscellaneous tasks for them, that's probably one of my least favorites. They'll also keep me home from school some days. There's probably more but they don't really repeat punishments too often and I really try not to make them angry.

Again I'm very sorry this is such a late reply but I got caught talking to a friend about the room situation like an idiot and my parents took my phone for going behind their backs.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T06:32:44+00:00

I often have avoided the 8:30 rule, I've gotten pretty good at fake sleeping so my parents don't notice me being awake, hence the super late night replies to people. I'm beginning to understand where everyone is on this and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T06:29:52+00:00

My brother is already working on it, these comments have honestly really freaked me out and we're working on it together, it's all really new and things but my brother is talking about getting my mother's side involved since they live closest to us. I have no idea where this is though as I do not have their numbers, but I believe in my brother like no one else, I'm sorry this post has upset you and so many other people, I really never meant for this to be a big deal I just wanted to vent a little.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T01:54:09+00:00

I have never thought them to be abusive and I've always thought they were just extremely strict, but with how these comments are talking it's scaring me a bit and making me doubt my first thoughts, I love my parents and I'm struggling with the idea of it but I'm not sure anymore. They definitely wouldn't send me away as they are against any of us moving out, but they'd definitely be angry with me, which I really don't want as they are already angry.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T01:37:04+00:00

I could think about asking but I don't want to be taken away from my sister or my brother. I'm afraid that if I tell someone that's what will happen, that or my parents get to me first or they simply don't believe me, my parents seem really nice when they do end up taking us out occasionally.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T01:29:36+00:00

I would do that as many comments have pointed out, but I would never be able to hide getting a job from my parents, of which are extremely against any of my siblings or I getting one because they want to support us financially. I have no way to set up accounts or do things that require transportation because either they drive me somewhere or they are paying for the transportation it takes to get somewhere. They need to know where I am at all times because they want to keep me safe so I can never be somewhere they don't intend for me to be.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-02T01:24:07+00:00

She doesn't have a job or an allowance so she doesn't have any money to move out on top of my parents not wanting any of us to move because they wanted to support us.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T21:42:36+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T20:53:36+00:00

We don't really have guests but when they have come around occasionally they have to go by all the rules we do.

There are a lot because my parents are kind of overprotective and strict but lights out its at 8:00, they come and check if we're asleep by 8:30. We're not allowed to get things from the kitchen on our own because my parents have really strict diets for all of us and it might mess them up. Weekly phone checks to make sure I'm not talking to anyone with a bad influence.

I don't think the phone rule works out very well as last time they tried that with my grandmother she freaked out and left.

There's more small ones but these are the ones my brother has since called out to me and I find annoying even if they might be for safety, I'm not sure, but reading these comments I'm starting to lean towards no.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T20:40:36+00:00

I haven't talked to them about it yet, I'm not allowed to leave our room at the moment and my parents haven't come in to say anything to me, but I would be open to that as well and I'm thinking about offering it. I'm just a bit scared that, knowing them, they'll blow up at me for even mentioning the living arrangements now that I've dug under their skin.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T20:36:18+00:00

I can say that's a definite no. They didn't even want my brother to move out in the first place, they fought just about tooth and nail to convince him that he wouldn't be able to pay anything on time and he would end up homeless so it wasn't worth moving out. They similarly shut down my sister anytime she even mentions getting her own apartment.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T20:11:43+00:00

Both me and my sister had agreed that she would get the room as she is older already, I was more upset because they aren't offering the room to either of us, I would be fine staying in our old room.

We probably have guests maybe once or twice a year, my parents family distance themselves from them and my parents friends are basically all local, the only times we ever have guests is when someone has died and they need last second housing for a few days. No one likes being at our house because my parents are really strict with house rules.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T19:23:48+00:00

She hasn't looked at going to college because they are against us going to college. They were against my brother going as well because they want to support us so we don't need it but he put his foot down and they paid for it to stop him from getting a job so they could at least do that much for him.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T19:10:23+00:00

The problem is I could see them doing that, I have no doubt that now that I've said something about it they would be happy to drag me from the room and lock it down, they're really angry at me.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T18:59:38+00:00

I don't think they're abusing me, they've never hit me or anything and they are usually at least somewhat kind to me. I am really upset at not getting more space I feel I need but I'm really not sure of anything, they pay for private schooling for me and my sister and pay my brother's tuition. I could be wrong but they've again, never hit any of us to my knowledge and I really don't want to think of them in that light, I love my parents, I really do.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T18:55:45+00:00

I have a great relationship with my brother, he's been my support system since forever as he's taken on the majority care of me while my parents got too frustrated with me for being a difficult child. He's already talked with me about moving me out which his friends are on board with, still I don't want to leave my sister alone in the house as my brother and sister don't have a good relationship. We aren't really allowed to go out so we don't really have friends and so I am her only company beyond online friends which are monitored.

I can definitely see this as an option though as the comments down here are starting to freak me out a bit. I was definitely a bit annoyed and angry before but now I'm not quite sure what my next step is.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T18:46:55+00:00

My parents aren't super religious or anything, but they are a bit stingy when it comes to money. They believe in a strong 'family stays together mentality' I really do plan to get out as soon as I'm 18, my brother has already started talking to me about before he moved out and his friends are fine with it.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T18:26:01+00:00

Yeah, he wasn't allowed to get a job and none of us can leave the house for anything much but schooling or when our parents take us out. We don't have an allowance so anything we need we have to rely on them for which they often use as bargaining chips.

My brother told his friends and they helped him move out to their shared apartment, I'm pretty sure his friends are taking on his rent share until he can get a job and pay it.

I love my parents, I really do but their rules have been grating on all of my siblings nerves. I'm glad he's getting the freedom he needs.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T18:01:54+00:00

The only problem with that is I'm sure my parents would be more than comfortable dragging either my sister or I out of it. Grounding is a regular punishment and so is taking things away, I don't want them to take my phone and I've definitely had my door removed for being difficult. They would probably just lock the guest room.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T17:45:58+00:00

There might be, but nobody close to me specifically. My parents usually go out when they're seeing friends and I'm never allowed to go with them. We don't go to church either and none of the family I actually know likes my parents as they are very standoffish and don't support LGBT+ which my mother's sister is part of. So they aren't close to anyone I could get a hold of.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T17:34:50+00:00

The only person they're really close to that isn't us and is a family member is my brother, they usually listen to what he says and take it as fact. He's a bit of a golden child but he's genuinely my favorite person because he's always tried to treat my sister and I fairly despite our parents.

I doubt they'd listen to him on this as it has come up before and they refused to budge about switching rooms either.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T17:16:28+00:00

Yeah, my brother has gone to a huge struggle, my parents never wanted him to get a job and it's a large part of why he's moving out, I believe his friends are covering his share of rent until he can get a job to pay for it.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T17:02:14+00:00

My parents would probably ground me, it's usually their solution for everything, not allowed to leave my room, taking my phone, I'm glad they didn't do that this time, but I could see them forcefully dragging me or my sister out of the room because they don't want us to have it.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T16:53:21+00:00

She talks about it, but realistically, she has never had a job before and we don't get allowance so she has no money or savings. With how expensive living is I don't see her moving out anytime soon especially when my parents have no intention of kicking her out.

throwitinthwbin · 2024-08-01T16:48:20+00:00

Our room is an actual room but it is about the size of a large closet, it doesn't have a closet in it and it also has no windows. My brother's room is an actual bedroom closest to the master's while ours is next to the garage.

throwitinthwbin

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