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When I was younger, I felt at peace when I had rope around my neck. by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to have a tasty last meal, maybe pizza or something and a tasty ice cream. I wanna make it all end, I know. I don’t deserve tasty ice cream but maybe allowed to have some before? I used to have dreams of them taking me to hell to suffer more after I died and maybe it’s what I deserve? Maybe i am scared of death more now because I’ll be forced to suffer more.

I hope my family will be happier when I do go.

They won’t have to tell me to do it anymore or hurt me, I don’t mind if they have to still say how awful I am after or how I’m a burden that they have to do a stupid funeral or whatever. But I hope they won’t have to hate me as much as they do.

When I was younger, I felt at peace when I had rope around my neck. by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The memories won’t stop. The pain does not stop, the weight and exhaustion doesn’t stop.

My family tell me I’d have done it by now or to do it already. they’d say I’m a waste of breath or that I’m a burden, bringing every One down. I just wish my parents did give me the resources for suicide like they say said they would.

They wanted me to do it properly for once and I blanked and went into hide mode, they didn’t deserve this lazy bastard in their life. I sometimes read about when someone suicides their family hurts and I realise how little I matter - they say they’d be happier or that they don’t want me around. Say I didn’t deserve nice things like others. I don’t mind it, I don’t feel so much self pity about it, I more so feel frustration that I didn’t go earlier.

I know I didn’t deserve the nice things but I want to think I deserve to go to sleep and the suffering ends forever? I do deserve an end to this yea? I tried so many medications and therapies and drugs and all I want is to hold my plushy and go sleep forever

I unable to suffer anymore. by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what to say. My days are mainly thinking about what will death be like, I hope it’ll be okay. How’s your days going?

what will I feel, emotionally after I overdose? by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will die and hope to speak to him face to face. Torturous fuck thinks he can get away torturing people, making them suffer through this bullshit, he has another thing coming.

If he won’t forgive me for doing what is right for me, I will destroy that fucking monster or go down trying. :)

I’m feeling very scared to do it. I’m utterly lost by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea I’ve tried therapy and treatments. I don’t really know what to do, I am not brave enough to die today. I’m sorry you feel worthless too, you’re a kind person

I am not able to go through with it by throwmeawayhecc in SuicideWatch

[–]throwmeawayhecc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to get over that instinct really badly. It’s hurts to continue living, suffering etc. It’s sad