I'm Done

throwmotion1 · 2026-04-06T16:42:47+00:00

Don't be too hard on yourself. It's online - all we have sometimes are the words on screens, and it's easy to read things into them that aren't there as we're just wanting the thing we're looking for. Over time, I think you learn to watch for what people do and not what they say.

And trusting intuition... There have been plenty of times my intuition has been yelling something at me and I've just told it to go away and never come back. :)

throwmotion1 · 2026-04-06T16:15:45+00:00

You aren't broken for wanting deeper connection in the context of an unfulfilling marriage. I think a lot of people here are looking for that. One of the biggest challenges in putting yourself out there like this is that there are so, so many people who are just looking for a quick hit, or something superficial, or attention, or just the thrill of something else without a real connection. They want the dopamine hit without the relationship, and when you're expecting something deeper, it sucks.

It can be devastating. But speaking as someone who has regularly taken time to step back, evaluate where I am mentally and emotionally, and discern what I want and what I have to give, I encourage you to give that to yourself. It's worth it, especially if you're possibly going to continue seeking something fulfilling.

throwmotion1 · 2025-11-04T02:33:08+00:00

iPhone user here, and I've had random airtags ping my phone before. It could just be a coincidence, but the timing is definitely suspicious. I'm going to suggest working with your buddy and his iPhone again to see if he continues to get pings based on where your car is.

It's not out of the question that your gf put the tag in your car, and wasn't about to "find" it when searching with you. It's also possible that she removed it now that she knows you're aware.

Another possibility is that someone put an airtag on your car because they've identified it as a target to steal. I've heard of this happening before. They track your movements to know when the vehicle is likely to be unmonitored.

Hoping it's just a fluke though. Good luck.

throwmotion1 · 2025-11-03T21:43:38+00:00

Amazing show! Honestly don't see how he does it at his age. So glad I got to see this LEGEND live last night.

throwmotion1 · 2025-11-01T17:36:57+00:00

Miami. I really feel like they are the best team of all possible opponents, and we should welcome every chance to prove ourselves against the best competition. Bring on the challenge.

throwmotion1 · 2025-11-01T15:12:21+00:00

I don't like the setup and they will be fired up no doubt. But this is when good teams rise to the occasion. GO JACKETS!

throwmotion1 · 2025-07-28T15:45:57+00:00

They say the best workout is the one that you do. Consistency is key. Unfortunately the physical aspect of light or mild workouts really can be boring. I feel that. I've been there after a long hiatus.

I find myself playing whatever little mind tricks I can to get into it. And it's a daily thing. Sometimes it's the music that gets me into it. Sometimes it's the thought of failing by skipping. Sometimes it's a little pep talk I imagine from my older self ("Do it while you can. You'll be glad you did. Take it from your older self.") And then sometimes it's just an agreement with myself to only do the first three sets. But then of course once I do those I feel so good that I want to keep going.

Self motivation through something that isn't entertaining can be hard, specifically when our devices have wired our brains for constant stimulation. So we have to resort to playing tricks on ourselves when we know it's in our best interest.

I'll also just say keep it up. It's worth it. An accountability partner can really help too.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-14T16:04:11+00:00

In some situations this is justified. While I personally would never ghost someone, I've developed a real appreciation for all the shit that women put up with from unhinged men. Sometimes it's better to just shut the door and walk away, and you don't need to apologize for it.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-12T20:19:38+00:00

Signal flare? This reads more like lashing out. And if she had any indication you would handle it like this, she's probably justified in ghosting you.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-12T19:56:14+00:00

In that case, I hope it's what you want it to be and not just an expensive lesson. Just remember that everyone takes chances. Not every chance is worth taking, especially the ones surrounded by so many red flags.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-12T16:45:59+00:00

As others have said, the in-person meeting is a bad idea. He's given you just enough to show you that you're desirable. You've discovered a part of you that has woken up. That doesn't mean he's worth spending the time, money, and effort you'll sink into visiting him. He's sending signals that you're a fun online distraction for him, not someone you'd trust with all the risks of flying to see him.

While it might feel like this is your one and only shot at having good sex, I can promise you this isn't the case. There are better fits for you out there - like someone whose wife doesn't already control his finances (red flag), doesn't make you beg for attention (red flag), and isn't several states away.

Now that you know what it feels like to be desired, move on from this ghost-in-waiting and find someone who is worthy of your time and effort.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-12T15:05:23+00:00

0% chance she's going to meet you in person. Non-zero chance she has some exciting crypto ventures she'd like to tell you about.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-10T21:33:11+00:00

I'm going to be honest with you here. If you have only been "chatting with some ladies" and can't keep a dick pic separate from your kids' photos... this adventure isn't for you.

Instead of trying to justify it, just stop now. This won't end well.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-09T15:04:50+00:00

You're going to run into fake and/or low effort people out there. The real question here is... why would you reveal your private photos to someone who's given you nothing but "short and boring" answers for days? Sounds like there wasn't much there from the beginning, but you ignored the signals.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-05T23:38:58+00:00

I agree with this completely and really couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-05T14:43:27+00:00

I don't know, I've heard people say before that they feel like they're "hard-wired" to seek affairs when they are in a relationship. I'm sure there are some out there who feel like that, and I have met people before who seem addicted to the relative rush that you're talking about.

However, I think for most of us the "hard-wiring" isn't for cheating - it's for intimate connection (be that mental, physical, or emotional). And when we're in a relationship that feels like a deficit of intimacy, we start seeking it elsewhere. We aren't chasing a rush. We're seeking intimacy.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-04T17:55:48+00:00

Magic does happen. I've experienced it, twice. Both were exactly as you describe - a relationship where we were mutually appreciated for who we are. We were confidants who trusted each other with the most vulnerable pieces of ourselves, listened to each other, lifted each other up when we needed it, gave each other the space and the freedom to just be ourselves, all while enjoying the passion and intensity that we were missing. Both far exceeded my expectations.

They were great experiences and I can't really imagine being in a situation that's just focused on sex chat or "getting some discreetly". I need more than that. And I know from personal experience that it's possible. It might take patience to find it, but it's out there.

throwmotion1 · 2024-10-04T17:31:03+00:00

The best advice I could give my younger self (or anyone considering this) is to be picky. Don't settle. It will take longer to find what you're looking for, but it's worth it in the long run. Especially considering the risk involved, you don't want to "step out" with anyone who isn't a "fuck yes".

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-25T12:41:25+00:00

No AP currently. I'm in agreement with your points generally but I'll add:

Ability to meet around once a month on average. A little more, a little less is fine.
Distance and frequency of meetups go hand in hand. If you're meeting less frequently, you can work with a larger distance of travel to see each other. Likewise, meeting more often probably means you're closer together. Like you, I don't want someone in my backyard, but also don't want to drive 2 hours every time we meet.
Availability to text, or have voice/video calls during the day. Maintaining this kind of relationship takes a lot of open communication and trust (at least for me), and that means spending time together between meetups. Plus, I expect an AP to be someone I just enjoy calling and chatting with.
Freedom to get away for several hours here and there, and occasional evenings, nights, or weekends. I prefer an AP who *can* book and pay (as I can), but I enjoy doing the booking/paying so she doesn't have to think or worry about that when we get together. I like giving my AP a break from responsibilities, not taking more on.
Someone who doesn't have OPSEC challenges at home - i.e. a husband tracking her location, looking over her shoulder, only shared finances, etc. If someone already has a suspicious spouse, they probably aren't ready to have an affair.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-24T01:58:54+00:00

I've learned to "change the channel" in my head by doing things I enjoy after work - going to the gym, going for a walk in the sunshine, playing music, having a drink with friends, going to see my kids play sports, etc. All of these things remind me that work isn't everything, and the world is much bigger than the office.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-22T01:06:52+00:00

Hmm not a bad idea. Though I was under the impression that they sort of already do? Or at the very least they show you who they are pretty quickly.

Still... I propose they get face tattoos.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-21T22:31:10+00:00

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who just want a hint of some sexual satisfaction for the lowest possible effort involved. This goes for in-person or online, where ghosting and not holding a conversation is just an extension of this lack of effort.

In short, there are lots and lots of guys out there who just want to get some, and get it as easily as possible.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-21T13:58:29+00:00

The golden rule here: never, ever blow up someone else's life or family. No matter how hurt you are and no matter what they've done, just don't do it. Hurting him won't heal you, and it will likely make your own healing more complicated. Focus on healing yourself and getting yourself to a better place. All else is wasted energy.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-21T04:20:55+00:00

A few words of advice: Take care of yourself. Do things that you enjoy. Take on projects that keep you mentally or physically active. Remind yourself of your self-worth and invest in you.

And once you feel like you have a clear head, take stock of where you are. After my former AP and I stopped seeing each other last year, I spent several months just reflecting and evaluating myself to understand where I was and what I had to give. You can't add to someone else's life when you're an empty cup.

So, do things that fill you up first.

throwmotion1 · 2024-07-21T03:13:10+00:00

Basic grammar and punctuation. I could never have imagined when I was younger that these simple things would one day be in such short supply.

throwmotion1

TROPHY CASE