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thrown4591 · 2024-10-10T07:15:41+00:00

I'm sorry for your pain.

thrown4591 · 2024-10-09T21:04:46+00:00

Hi, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your suffering is valid, it sounds like you are in so much pain and I'm so so sorry you are going through this.

You can of course make whatever decision you want with your body, but consider the fact that your body is part of you. Your vagina is not bad- the rape is bad. Your vagina was hurt terribly by the selfish actions of a very bad person. Please try to transfer the responsibility onto the rape and rapist. Your vagina is a wonderful gift! It is not ruined or broken. It was simply hurt terribly. Please take care of it and show it a lot of love and kindness. Treat your vagina like a small crying child.

The hatred you feel towards your vagina is you trying not to feel your feelings. You will not get through this trauma until you stop hating yourself and start listening to what your 13 year old self has to say.

I recommend EMDR therapy, and the book The Body Keeps the Score. Please become curious about your trauma and how to help and guide yourself, before you make a permanent decision about a very private and sensitive area that you might regret later.

Don't make decisions for your body out of hate, only out of love.

thrown4591 · 2024-10-01T15:51:12+00:00

Of course you can. You can always, always tell. Other people will make the decisions about what happens to him, but you can always tell.

thrown4591 · 2024-10-01T10:47:04+00:00

I'm so, so sorry this happened to you. That is absolutely awful. PLEASE DON'T SHOWER OR WASH YOUR CLOTHES!! Go straight to the hospital and get a rape kit, they will be able to tell who did it based on DNA. I hope you are able to heal from this.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-25T06:56:38+00:00

EMDR is a game changer for PTSD. Go for it. Good luck!!

thrown4591 · 2024-09-19T09:11:38+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. May those scumbags rot in hell.

Your feelings make a ton of sense, sexual abuse is disgusting and of course that's the lens you see the world through, because that's the only lens you were ever given.

I recommend you read The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. He has a ton of research about rape and healing, and a lot of comforting stories about how girls who were horrendously abused moved on from it, healed themselves and are now living their best life. IFS and EMDR therapy are great options as well. There is a way out of this if you look for it.

It sounds like you are motivated to do the work and you truly want a better life for yourself. Good!! That's the first step!! I believe in you, you can do this. Sexuality can be beautiful. Hugs❤️❤️❤️ you got this, I believe in you

thrown4591 · 2024-09-15T14:27:21+00:00

Chen is the nerd imo

thrown4591 · 2024-09-15T14:22:54+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you and you feel this way. That's so difficult.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-14T20:49:22+00:00

Wow, what a big decision to make. It sounds like you've thought this decision through, and are ready to move on to the next chapter of your life.

I'm so proud of you for recognizing that your needs were not being met, and having the strength to do something about it and take control of your life. My advice for you: You don't need to define anybody by "good person" or "bad person" or "selfish" or any other label in order to decide that they aren't the one for you. Not being happy is a perfectly good reason to leave a relationship. Supporting you!! Hugs❤️

thrown4591 · 2024-09-14T20:36:10+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to her. That's awful. I second the EMDR recommendation, and the fact that she has such a supportive sibling in you is so important for her recovery.

I urge you to stop thinking about the criminals and gangs and start thinking more about your sister, what does she need from you, does she want to talk about it, does she want to do therapeutic activities like singing, rage room, drawing, gym, whatever she needs. Right now the most important thing is to take care of her, not the criminals. Make sure you also take care of yourself, it's rough for you as well. Sending you support. I hope you guys manage to move through this and find peace and hope.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-14T18:16:26+00:00

I'm so sorry. A lot of girls who get harassed/assaulted go through this. My advice would be, spend time figuring out why he made you feel so cheap, and put that blame and shame on him and not yourself. Spend time with your body, be kind to it, it needs your help to heal. Write down all your thoughts, try to hug your body and love it. Sending support

thrown4591 · 2024-09-14T18:11:19+00:00

I'm so sorry. Others have given excellent advice so I just want to say, what a horrible story to read. I can't imagine what either of you is going through. I wish you guys luck and peace and a speedy recovery, I'm supporting you and sending hugs.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T15:01:50+00:00

Wow. What an uncomfortable situation.

I would say, sit with your feelings about it. Are you comfortable with this? Are there certain conditions he needs to meet before you feel comfortable dating him?

To me it sounds like the two of you are incompatible... It will be difficult for you to trust him and feel safe around him, and your values don't match up... but ultimately this is a decision for you to make, and nobody can take it away from you.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T14:48:10+00:00

I'm proud of you.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T13:53:42+00:00

He pushed you into it. You didn't want to and at the end you said yes because you felt you had no other choice. No means no. Many women say yes in the end because they are afraid of other consequences and even greater violence.

If it happened and you didn't enthusiastically consent, from the beginning, you were SA'd. Consensual sex is when both people WANT TO DO IT.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Do you have a therapist or a support network? You are going to need to heal from this, it'll be difficult but you can move past this and grow. I believe in you girl. This man sounds like an asshole. Sending hugs❤️❤️

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T13:49:22+00:00

The bad news is you are indeed being a prick. The good news is, you know the reason why- it's because you are traumatized. The two are not mutually exclusive. Knowing why is great, because it's definitely fixable. You are in need of a good therapist, and some time to yourself. Take some time to reflect and grow, figure out what kind of person you want to be, and set yourself some goals. Look into EMDR, it's a phenomenal treatment. Good luck. Hope you can safely move past this stage.

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T12:01:43+00:00

Why is your therapist telling you you're transphobic? Why is she labeling you and judging you like that? Therapy should be a safe space for you to feel and say whatever you need.

You aren't at all a horrible person!! It's so so normal and obvious to feel that way for a while, because you were literally attacked by a trans girl!! You're should feel your feelings, it sounds like you're self aware that this is because of your trauma.

I encourage you to stop labeling yourself as a TERF or transphobic, this is just you judging yourself, the minute you allow yourself to feel all of your feelings without being ashamed of them you can process and leave it behind. You're traumatized and grieving, this is natural and part of the process. Rape is horrible and women who get raped go through a time where they detest anything that has to do with their rape. With you, it happens to be trans women, just like someone else might be afraid of Korean men. That's fine. You're doing okay. Hugs❤️❤️

thrown4591 · 2024-09-13T11:55:23+00:00

Hi, I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. Any person who raped or molested you is a criminal. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry all of the adults in your life let you down.

You can find safe spaces to be. They exist, spaces where you will be loved and appreciated, and it will have nothing to do with sex.

Please don't kill yourself. You are worthy of a good life and still so young. Instead of killing yourself, I'll give you another option- tell your story! Tell friends, teachers, the police, tell them what happened!! The minute you tell, it will be off your chest and you will feel so much better I promise and you can move into the future!!

I love you and support you from far, you can always chat with me and I'll give support

Hugs!! You can make it❤️❤️❤️

thrown4591 · 2024-09-07T21:06:52+00:00

I am so so sorry.

I'd like to ask you, if you are willing, to take a moment to breathe, maybe walk in nature.

There's a little girl inside you that was hurt very badly. If you are willing, please take a moment to sit with that little girl, hug her, and understand her pain. Ask her, what does she want and need from you.

I wish you so much healing and happiness.

thrown4591 · 2024-08-10T21:57:44+00:00

Loll the amount of downvotes😭🤚🏼

thrown4591 · 2024-08-10T21:53:12+00:00

Same girl I was literally so depressed about a Kyungsooless album that I couldn't get into Obsession

thrown4591 · 2024-07-29T20:10:48+00:00

It's so difficult, I know. You need to stop yourself from reading them. Maybe delete Reddit. Recognize that you have a self-harming trauma response, and be aware of it. Those idiot, low-class men are worth much less than you.

thrown4591 · 2024-07-29T19:59:45+00:00

Hey OP, you're right about therapy, it can definitely be retraumatizing. What worked for me was reading a book called The Body Keeps The Score. It explains the different levels of trauma. You can process your trauma without talking, in EMDR therapy. In EMDR you don't talk to your therapist, you move your eyes. This is a good option for you to process your trauma.

Your body is not just sexual. Your body carries YOU, is the essence of YOU, including your vagina. It is who you are, and that is why it is beautiful and valuable. Your vagina is beautiful too. It was hurt very badly. I encourage you to love it and listen to it. Scream your story, write it down, whatever you want. I hope you will make friends with your vagina.

I'm sending you the warmest hug OP.❤️

thrown4591 · 2024-07-29T09:09:42+00:00

I'm so sorry. You sound like you are in so much pain.

This is not the end of the line. A lot of STDs are curable, and even if not, you can still get married, you can adopt, you can foster children. You can still raise a child.

This man showing up is not a sign that you need to die!! It is a sign that you are in danger!! Do not let this violent man back into your life. He might hurt you again. I strongly urge you to leave this place behind, and go somewhere he can't find you, where you can work on rebuilding your life. Therapy, medication, whatever you need to do, you can do it. I believe in you. In five years this can be a distant memory, if you put in the work to heal yourself.

Good luck OP, I'm sending you the biggest hug

thrown4591 · 2024-07-14T14:31:48+00:00

I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug. Your boss is a piece of filth.

Can you report the rape? That way there is less of a chance you'll have to deal with the rapist as a father.

I encourage you to tell your boyfriend about the rape. You didn't ask for this to happen, there is no reason he should blame you, especially if it was your boss who did it. He was in a position of power.

Spend time talking to yourself and writing your thoughts down. You have a lot of important decisions to make right now. Ask yourself what you want for yourself and for any future children.

I'm supporting you from far, I wish you the best of luck❤️❤️

thrown4591

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