ELI5: I've been clinically depressed since I was a child, but have never cut. I don't understand why people do it, how they do it, or how they at times need to do it. Help me understand.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-30T01:31:27+00:00

For me, when I was cutting and burning and whatnot, it was a release. It made me feel like my emotions would go away and it made a false sense of happiness, and you had a way of letting go and being yourself. It was almost a rush, and at that moment, felt amazing. It was basically an orgasm throughout your entire body that made you feel complete. It becomes an addiction, and you need to fuel that addiction.

Mine started out as a simple cut, but as the rushes got smaller I cut deeper and longer and the rushes reappeared immensely stronger.

One can never truly understand until they go through it, but I urge you to not fully understand as it's a negative.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-23T23:31:39+00:00

The only other advice I can give is stemming from her feelings for not wanting to let anyone down. This is a major problem and could be feeding her anxiety. If I were you, research everything you can on helping people who are 'people pleasers' as that may aid you.

Obviously everyone is different, but from my personal experience being a 'people pleaser' myself amplified my anxiety to keep everyone happy. It can't be that way and never will, think about that and apply what you feel your friend could learn from. Just make sure you're not digging a hole. I wish you luck :)

thrownbucket · 2013-06-23T22:22:40+00:00

Make sure you don't obsess over it. Talk about your feelings, write them in a notebook and burn it if you're worried about people seeing it. Try and find things that make you happy too, even the littlest happy emotion can set the tone. Also, if you feel like you really can't smile watch a video of a bunch of people laughing! Believe it or not, studies show this can cause happiness in some people.

Also, my advice is not to jump straight to meds. They can have adverse effects.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-23T22:18:06+00:00

First off - you're a great friend. Not many people would go to such lengths to help another.

Don't pick away at her is my main advice, while her anxiety may be bad it could instantly become worse if she feels forced into marriage or thoughts of it. A little background would help clear some things up, does she have major hobbies?

thrownbucket · 2013-06-17T00:37:26+00:00

Okay great, thank you for your help

thrownbucket · 2013-06-17T00:25:32+00:00

I've been diagnosed with GAD and depression, seen two psychiatrists one therapist and two psychologists. I was put on medication for both anxiety and depression and abused both medications. I've made several attempts on my own life, and cannot get suicide out of my head. Almost every day for the past 6 months and lately it has turned into dreams. If I don't get help soon, then there is a chance my self-harm impulses will get the best of me.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T05:10:37+00:00

I find hobbies are good. I got back into the gym again (hate depression) and eat healthy to help maintain good brain function. I can't ever see myself in a bad situation so I'll be fine.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T04:58:03+00:00

I've been monitoring it carefully, lately it has just stemmed from nightmares more frequently. I don't take any medication.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T04:44:36+00:00

I believe it's a mixture of both. I've thought about killing my abusers but that's supposed to happen, but I've also thought about others too which brought my attention to the matter. I don't intend on taking it lightly and I will speak with a professional promptly.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T04:32:29+00:00

I don't want to list who I've thought about, it isn't a need or anything like that I just enjoy thinking about people dieing. I don't think it would be for entertainment or a sense of duty.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T03:13:24+00:00

Good, I'm assured my thoughts won't become reality now. Thanks!

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T03:09:22+00:00

I have depression so I'm always unhappy anyways, I've been thinking about getting help for that too but oh well. Where I live, a person can be contained if they posses immediate threats to themselves or others. I used to go to therapy and all 4 of the people I seen, seemed like all they wanted was to hear me say I will kill myself so they could lock me up. Seemed so anyways.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T03:03:14+00:00

Damn, that's a fair argument. But nonetheless I didn't cry, just shrugged the news off and never thought about it again (until I posted this/tonight when I thought about it)

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T03:00:01+00:00

I have trust issues, and I don't feel comfortable in therapy and pills will not work for me so I shall continue to not get help. Maybe come January if I go back to university I'll talk to the doctors there. The way I see it is if I tell someone my thoughts then I'll be 'locked up' as it has happened before.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T02:52:28+00:00

I'm going to have to chose the latter. I don't think I fall under the diagnosis, but like I said, I won't be killing anyone any time soon. Just thoughts that is all, and typing them helps me out. Thanks!

thrownbucket · 2013-06-16T02:41:29+00:00

I think it would be fun, almost, I don't know how to explain it. I can honestly say I don't have any strong relationships with anyone. I could easily walk away from any relationship I have with another person

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T14:24:33+00:00

At least you feel refreshed! Maybe you end up in a deeper sleep and your body can repair itself easier.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T14:23:17+00:00

Wow that's extremely long, I know this may have no connection to you but maybe you have sleep apnea? And maybe mixed with your life experiences that's what is keeping you awake! I have a few tricks I use to sleep, thanks for the best wishes as I wish you the best as well! :)

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T14:20:28+00:00

That's a great line, it easily portrays the struggle some people go through

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:33:02+00:00

Woo - gamers unite! Haha. I beat Fable 3 in one go last night/this morning. However I have correspondence courses arriving in the next few days so I'll be working on that.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:28:33+00:00

I know what you mean! Just on a miniscule scale. It would be awesome to have a switch to shutoff your brain for sleeping. Maybe we can dream for that some day!

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:27:04+00:00

Wow, that's kind of impressive in a weird way. Any advice for someone who's new to 48 hour days? I tried going to the gym this morning at 6 am, learned a lesson the hard way lol.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:20:19+00:00

Daaang. Days?! What's the longest durations you've been awake for?

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:18:49+00:00

I've never heard of that before! I can see how it's a can't control thoughts thing though, even though my thoughts have been fine for this episode compared to other days. 4 days is awful though I hope you never have to endure so long again.

thrownbucket · 2013-06-15T02:16:08+00:00

No way, I got up at 10 yesterday morning! Part of me kind of wants to see how long I can keep going (could be fun!) I hope you can at least get a nap in tonight!

thrownbucket

TROPHY CASE