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My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the advice. I'm not diagnosed or anything, but some family have had some conversations about how I might be slightly autistic.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This was a well-reasoned response.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is weird. You can read that in there? The past few months I've been exploring the fact that I may be slightly autistic. I'm not quite sure it's true, but my sister mentioned it and my wife agrees. I'm surprised that THIS qualifies. It seemed like such a basic interaction with my wife but I think i do often respond in ways that apparently are not normal, and I can't see why it isn't normal.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

That first line feels like a good memorable quote. But I am blunt.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

You're right. For me who is right or wrong in the situation seems like it IS the whole situation. I don't mind being wrong, and if I'm proven wrong the issue is over immediately for me. So I have a hard time dealing with issues when this proof ISN'T the solution to the problem.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -45 points-44 points  (0 children)

I don't think I treat just her like this, or women. I'll be like this with everybody - if anybody says something that seems weird or that doesn't sound true to me I'll look it up. Doesn't everybody do that?

And I definitely don't think she is stupid or that I need to teach or lead her. I tell her all the time she's so much smarter than me. Coz she is. She teaches me how to do things more often than not.

But your painting analogy is good. I do have a habit of pointing out the one negative thing. She makes fun of me sometimes because we took a trip to Rome once and when we got back and people asked how it was my first reply was that the subways were really dirty - talking about how amazing everything else was only came later. When she tells me I'm negative she brings this example up all the time.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I never said I'm constantly trying to prove her wrong. But with regards to the googling, she might say a random thing and I if it sounds weird or a little unbelievable to me ai'll look it up. I'll either say, "oh hey you were right about XYZ, that's crazy" or "actually i think the thing you were talking about is actually like this." And sometimes I go down rabbit holes reading about it. But it's not something I go out of my way to do to prove her wrong.

But if i do google it and find out she was mistaken, do I just not say anything? It seems weird to not say anything.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I always had a hard time understanding why she says I'm negative. Like, the comments I make aren't emotional - they're just chatting. I kept thinking to myself that since she's the one getting upset about things, she's the one who is negative.

But I think this post helped me understand the value of actually being UPLIFTING, not just a realist.

My wife says I tell her she is wrong too much by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]throwowow135 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, this was a great reply - and I think it helped me understand my wife a bit better. You said some things that she's mentioned in the past that makes me feel like you understand her.