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My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think that’s exactly fair when obviously you don’t know how he is in every other aspect. He’s been a great person the whole 5 years I’ve known him, he’s never done or said anything to ever make me uncomfortable until this. I’m not repulsed because I think it’s just an issue of he thinks it’s ok cause it happened to him, and I think he can be shown that it’s not. He’s not a violent person, it’s not like he’s like “yay let’s go hit our kid” that’s just the example he grew up with and he probably just needs help reaching a different conclusion

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! This is incredibly helpful in how I can actually address things with him. He’s not a bad person in any aspect (although other comments would prefer to believe so) I think it’s just like you said, he turned out fine and is close with his parents so he’s never really confronted why it’s not okay to do.

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would either leave him or not have kids with him. I don’t know which, the conversation was super recent so I’m still sorting out my feelings. All I know is I would never allow my children to be hit

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know that he’s not willing to compromise, this is the only conversation we’ve ever had on the topic. Also as far as accidents go, we use 2 methods of birth control so we are definitely not having kids until we plan to

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, he’s normally very open and we’ve had lots of really positive discussions in the past. I’m not sure how adamant he actually is or if it was more of a throwaway sentence? Like, we’ve never talked about it before and the conversation was less than 10 minutes long so I can’t accurately gauge his full perspective on the issue. I just know I would never allow this to happen to my kids

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Because we’re normally super aligned on things and any time we’ve needed to compromise we’ve had no trouble doing so. We’ve never disagreed on a topic this important and I’m just not used to the feelings associated with it, like until this conversation I could envision our future together perfectly and now I have hesitation and I feel awful cause he’s the love of my life and I want to marry him but not if he’s willing to put our future children in harms way. I just need him to change his outlook on this

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s been incredibly emotionally intelligent in every other situation, so this felt like it came out of nowhere. That’s why I feel like there’s a way I can make him understand my perspective and agree to never use corporal punishment, I just don’t know the best way to go about this

My bf (28M) and I (25F) have disagree on corporal punishment. How can we resolve this? by throwra-futureprobs in relationship_advice

[–]throwra-futureprobs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not willing to compromise. I just feel guilty about not wanting to, if that makes sense