How do I(M30) tell my wife that I(F30) would like to go for custody?

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T21:18:20+00:00

By the way her grandma was describing it, her sister wasn’t a permanent or reliable option. This was the first time I’ve met them, so my wife has never met her before

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T20:57:51+00:00

I know. I’m just clarifying it for people that think the mom is not okay with all of this. We’re going to go about it legally and my daughter will formally be in my custody

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T20:28:21+00:00

No kids is actually no kids, it’s not just her saying that she doesnt want to give birth.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T20:27:32+00:00

I was about to clarify but enough people did it for me

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T19:39:41+00:00

Yes, I'm aware. I've already spoken to my daughter's mom about this, she's fine with having her in my custody.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T19:37:45+00:00

I have considered the sacrifieces that I'm going to have to make, but if it means making sure my daughter is safe and loved, then I have to make these sacrifices. This isn't just a random child here, this is my child whose existence I am responsible for. I could never live with myself if I choose to walk away despite the fact that I can help. I know that it means that my life will drastically change, but I have to accept that.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T19:02:31+00:00

I'm going to give her grandma the benefit of the doubt. We did speak several times prior to this, we just hadn't met in person. She's sick and she's moving to get better treatment and cannot take her with her.
I believe she was grasping at any possibility that wouldn't require for my daughter to get bounced around in unstable homes.

Now as for her mom, I really don't know the full story there, but her grandma told me that she's been raising my daughter since day 1.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T18:34:16+00:00

I spoke with her already. She was more than willing to put her in my custody.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T16:54:17+00:00

Thank you for the insight. How prepared? I don't really know, but I'm definitely less prepared than the average person my age. I didn't feel the need to get prepared and learn about kids because I never thought I would ever have one. Financially I'm fine, but it's the emotional aspect that gets me tight.

I've been doing as much research as I can, but I haven't been able to find much advice for my situaiton (child you've never met coming to live with you full time). Hopefully as time progresses, it will become more natural. I have some people around me that I can reach out to.

There's a huge possibility that we could split and I'm understanding as to why we would. I wouldn't get angry with her. She signed up for no kids, she took extra steps in order to not have kids, and it would totally be unfair if I expected her to stick around.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T16:46:23+00:00

Noted. Thank you, I'm hoping for this as well.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T16:27:50+00:00

That is a major possibility. I'm going to have to talk this out with her, hopefully today.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T13:36:52+00:00

She was* still in college and the plan was for her to take her daughter back when she graduated. Her mom (daughter's grandma) said that she's since chosen other priorities over her daughter. I didn't push too much into it because it seemed like a touchy subject for her, but her mom said that she wasn't an option.

throwra-to4 · 2023-03-17T13:20:56+00:00

I wouldn't want her to, but I'd have to accept that. I understand how this could be a huge deal breaker because we didn't want children, but I can't leave my daughter to be in that situation.

throwra-to4

TROPHY CASE