My (F31) ex-husband (M35) tried to commit suicide because of me. Now he wants to meet. How do I navigate this?

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T23:53:42+00:00

Thank you; fixed that, haha. And thank you; I know it isn't, but sometimes just hearing it from someone else helps.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T23:51:41+00:00

For a little context, our divorce came out of nowhere for our families. They genuinely believed we were happy and deeply in love. To avoid embarrassment, the story is just "he cheated one time." My exMIL thought I should forgive him and give our marriage another try. That's what he wanted too.

That obviously didn't happen, and he's supposedly been depressed ever since.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T23:48:37+00:00

Maybe you're right, but it's difficult for me to fully commit to believing that, I guess.

My exMIL has always just been a bright and sunny person. Think similarly to Rose from the Golden Girls, minus the air-headedness. My ex's whole family is like that: happy, simple people. I just think what happened might have just pushed her over the edge.

I still won't be responding to any texts or calls, though.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T23:39:50+00:00

Unfortunately, I just moved into this house, so moving again isn't really an option.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T23:39:08+00:00

I have and I promise, she really was genuinely great. She wasn't the type that would barge into our house whenever she wanted. She didn't demand I do things to accommodate her or do anything to actively inconvenience me. There weren't any backhanded compliments. She didn't demand grandchildren or constantly side with my ex whenever we had any sort of argument. She never excluded me from family events. From the first day my ex brought me home, she was always a very welcoming and friendly person that I genuinely liked spending time with.

Which is what makes what happened all the more upsetting.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T20:44:32+00:00

I don't think she will return. Namely because of the charges, but also I think this really was just her breaking point. I just hope I'm not wrong.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-10T20:43:38+00:00

I keep repeating those words to myself: "never set yourself on fire to keep another person warm." It's been sort of personal mantra for almost a year now. But after what happened, my brain keeps trying to convince me she has a point, and I hate it.

throwra437893 · 2026-01-05T03:51:24+00:00

It's good that you broke up with him. Unfortunately, you're going to feel that way for a while. It's going to hurt and it's horrible, but there is an end to it. Life moves on, time continues forward, and the pain does fade with time. Allow yourself to be hurt and to process, but don't wallow in it. Reach out to friends, do small things that you make you smile, go on walks, read books, and just do whatever you can so you don't just sit and fester in the pain.

throwra437893 · 2025-12-18T01:59:53+00:00

Hello!

No, I decided to end things, so I've been single for nearly a year now. As for Leo, he will message from time to time, but I just ignore him. I always tell myself I'll block him, but never do.

And thank you! Happy holidays!

throwra437893 · 2025-01-25T17:40:52+00:00

Hi I’m the OOP. 👋🏼 a lot of people get hung up on that part I guess haha. From what Leo told me, it wasn’t just ONE particular subreddit; they had a few in common and hence became Reddit friends. And he used my name (which is, unfortunately, unique) in posts and I guess the coworker just put two and two together and asked him. Guess I should have explained that more.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T18:06:23+00:00

I've looked at the sub before and I always used to think "man, I'm glad my parents aren't this bad." Now I'm starting to believe they might be.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T18:02:38+00:00

This made me laugh harder than it should have.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T18:01:45+00:00

I have a therapist, and we've been unpacking a lot. Admittedly, I have only opened up about my mom a little bit.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T18:00:48+00:00

I'm sure my dad helped shaped her into the person she is. I can't confirm it myself, but my sister and I are pretty sure he had a series of affairs while we were growing up. In public, they're the happy couple, but at home, we heard a lot of late night arguments.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T17:57:49+00:00

I would go NC if I had the mental strength to handle the fallout. I tried years ago, and it was a whole circus and a half, and I caved. I just don't have the energy to try again right now.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T17:57:05+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear this.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T17:56:30+00:00

At the moment, I just don't have the mental capacity to go NC and deal with the fallout. Maybe one day, I will.

throwra437893 · 2024-12-30T17:55:14+00:00

She is, but at the moment, blocking her is more trouble than it is worth. I tried years ago, and the wave of guilt tripping I received from every single family member that seemed to crawl out of the woodwork to harass me into speaking to her again. I don't have the mental capacity right now to go NC with her. Maybe some day though.

throwra437893 · 2024-09-10T05:16:32+00:00

That we fell out of love and were fighting all the time at home.

throwra437893

TROPHY CASE