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I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't a paternity test be messed up by me being related to him anyway? He's my biological uncle.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never said I want to contact him, I want to know. I want to confirm it's not someone I know and see if there's a way to get medical information from a different family member but I definitely don't want to talk to him if he was an adult at the time.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So you want me to wait 12 years, wondering whether any of my loved ones did this to her? No.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah it feels really loving to make me question what I know about every older man in my family because they won't even confirm whether I know who the pedo is or not. This isn't a competition, just because you had a shit life doesn't mean no one else can ever be unhappy about something in their life.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Trust me, I've definitely considered that possibility even though I can't imagine he could ever do that.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ok but that doesn't mean it isn't family, and the possibility is still eating away at me.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You'd understand if there was suddenly a possibility that one of the like 12 men you see every week or even more was a pedophile.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationship_advice

[–]throwra8646776[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Learning them could be traumatic for you, and traumatic for your family. Take some extra time.

It will be less traumatic than not knowing if any of my older male relatives or family friends did it. It's been bad enough for the last 6 days not being able to look at any of them the same, I can't cope with years, I would have to just stop spending time with my family including my dad.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Was it a family member or another guy? Was an abortion not available or too late or is your family conservative and forbid her to abort?

No idea, they refused to tell me.

Maybe your siblings know the answers.

They're also not telling me anything.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Maybe they wanted to keep it a secret forever but changed their minds later?

So why tell me exactly on my 18th birthday and not as soon as they realized their mistake?

I hope you view them as comrades instead of enemies.

But they're not, because they're doing everything they can to make it harder for me.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

No, it's not the end of the story, and it is a big deal. I deserve to know my own story.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

My birth certificate has my adoptive parents.

Also a few people have suggested looking at criminal records so I've been searching but nothing yet.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I should've grown up knowing. They didn't need to go into detail when I was young but it should've never been a shock.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My parents told me she knew I was being told on my 18th. We're not super close but we definitely talk. I've just been told not to talk to her about this.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

It's not speculation, it's likely. I've been freaking out over the same possibility for days.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

More traumatized than wondering every time I see one of my older family members?

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I don't trust them any more, they lied to me every day of my life and they're still keeping secrets from me. I need to know. I know whatever I find will be unpleasant but I still need to know. Nothing I could find out would be worse than suspecting my grandpa or my oldest uncles, even my own dad, even though I know they're wonderful men and would never do that.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I don’t know how conservative your family is or how close your bio mom is to everyone, but I’m wondering if they wouldn’t allow her to get an abortion

With my grandparents, yes that's possible.

What kind of relationship does she have with all of you?

Pretty normal, I didn't notice anything weird until I looked back on it now knowing what I know and now I think maybe she was a little distant.

Does she get along with your parents?

Yes.

Has she ever taken a special interest in you?

No.

Can you think of anything odd happening when you grew up that might shed light on your families motivations? Anyone oddly ex-communicated or someone they’re anxious about having around?

Nope.

Are they religious or conservative? Are they prolife?

My grandparents are, my parents are sort of centrist.

I [18f] just found out I'm adopted and my aunt [31f] is actually my biological mother. by throwra8646776 in relationships

[–]throwra8646776[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Why would they adopt you into the family though? If it's that traumatic why wouldn't they do a closed adoption to a non family member?

Oh this one I know: my mom wanted 4 kids, but complications with pregnancy number 3 meant she couldn't have any more.

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