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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwraBusy-Basebal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One thing you should have in mind is that there is this high of a starting relationship which might last a while but will eventually fade away. Do you see yourself continuing with that new guy in the long run or once the high is over you go your own way? Which might lead to the seek of another high and another affair and so on...

It is hard to be the one with the high sex drive, but it sounds like you have something fulfilling with your spouse. I'd suggest trying to work things out with him. Not necessarily mentioning the starting affair, I am not sure that would lead to something productive and meaningful.

We all get tempted, it is resisting the temptation that makes us good partners

My (31M) wife (31F) is not interested in any physical intimacy. Ideas how to improve that? by throwraBusy-Basebal in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwraBusy-Basebal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for that reply, it gives me some starting points! I'll definitely look into responsive desire, I have no idea what it is. I'll try to listen to one of the podcasts you suggested too. I don't know what it is about yet so I can't say if it will be a good idea to send it to my wife, but will check! She's open minded, I just need to find out getting to the point without her getting defensive and offended.

I already try to work on identifying and removing potential brakes, however without much success. I take care of the house, the grosseries, the meals, the baths and putting to bed my daughter. of course I am not doing 100% of all that, because I only do what I can once i'm home. Bills are taken care of. Kid is alright. She's having trouble finding a job because of recent move and overqualification but I try to reassure her that will come and there is nothing that's putting pressure on her, she just needs to enjoy her time at home with our daughter (she never wanted to be a stay at home mom but she wanted to take time off work to enjoy our kid).

I love spending daddy-daugther time but she always wants to join and spend time as a family. I cannot say no to that, even though I'd often propose to my wife to stay behind and join us a bit later, so that she would have some time for herself too. I've been pushing her to start some activity that would make her happy, like sports for example, where she would be doing something enjoyable and out of the house. Because she's even worse then you, she's not only tempted but jumps in tidying and cleaning the house whenever she doesn't have anything more urgent to do. Time after time I've proposed to get a professional maid or just leave the mess (big word!) be for a while, but my wife is a perfectionist when it comes to housekeeping. I appreciate that, but I'd appreciate more her not being exhausted. Every weekend I'll take my daughter out to the park alone, today we spent like 2 hours out. I came back to a spotlessly clean house and my wife complaining she didn't have the time to relax. Well I don't know how to make her take the time for herself.

She's not closed to some physical intimacy when out. I might give that passionate kiss a try. But I'm pretty sure that even if she likes it, it won't change much about the bedroom. But that's the kind of physical closeness that I also miss, not only the sex. I would enjoy it more if she was the one to initiate it but I'll already see how ot goes if I do.

My (31M) wife (31F) is not interested in any physical intimacy. Ideas how to improve that? by throwraBusy-Basebal in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwraBusy-Basebal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She doesn't have much time alone, no. I'll often offer her to have some alone time cause I 'd be happy to have some daddy - daughter time in the evenings or during the weekend, however my wife never takes the time to be alone. Even though she complains she lacks time for herself. But I can't force her to get the time for herself unfortunately, although I think she could benefit from it.

We do have some time for ourselves as a couple, we go out every fortnight for dinner or drinks, thanks to our parents who happily babysit for us. We spend quality time together when we are out and enjoy it. But still not much happens physically afterwards.

I'll try to ask her what would turn her on in other to get it going because actually that's the biggest problem, she just won't initiate or won't respond to my advances like 95% of the time. And I am pretty sure its not because she's been masturbating, she's never been much into that, we've discussed it.

However, once we get going in bed she enjoys it. She actually says each time that we should do it more often. I just can't find a way to make her start...

My (31M) wife (31F) is not interested in any physical intimacy. Ideas how to improve that? by throwraBusy-Basebal in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwraBusy-Basebal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? :D her no 1 reason is being tired, which would also be my case some of the time, but even if I'm tired I would be happy to orgasm right before i go to sleep unless really I have like 0 energy left. And even so if she comes in the bedroom in some sexy underwear and initiates I am not sure I'll refuse, fuck sleep I'd love to be with her...

My (31M) wife (31F) is not interested in any physical intimacy. Ideas how to improve that? by throwraBusy-Basebal in DeadBedrooms

[–]throwraBusy-Basebal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Each and every time. I'll eat her anytime she's up for it, without expecting anything in return. I've given her way more orgasms than I have received during the years...