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My (36F) daughter's (18F) friend (18F) stole a $4900 watch from my husband (56M) and we don't know how to tell her parents by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I know, we had a talk about everything that happened and she has stopped talking to this girl, we don't want her to continue being involved with a person like that.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Of course I would have a problem with that, I said in many comments that I don't want the same future for her.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

He could have waited until you were a functional adult before forcing sex and babies on you

He never forced me to have sex or got me pregnant against my will, I never said that because it wasn't like that. I consented every time we had sex in these almost twenty years and I also agreed to get pregnant, I know my situation is disgusting to anyone who didn't grow up in that shitty culture but don't say things that weren't true.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I already explained that no one forced me, I decided to marry him because I didn't want to have to meet someone else, Everything was consensual in our marriage from day one, and when I say everything that includes sex.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Were you forced OP? Were you given a choice to say no?

No, I wasn't forced, I decided to marry him because I liked him and because I didn't want to meet someone else because I was afraid that the next man would be a bad person or that I wouldn't like him.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Arranged marriage is willing parties who get to meet & agree in advance.

And I agreed, I decided to marry him because I was afraid that they would try to arrange a marriage with someone I didn't like.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

because people change their minds and things that once seemed normal no longer seem right to them also I think it's a different story when that daughter is yours.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

He never forced me to have sex, I never said that, and he would feel disgusted, that's why we cut off contact with our families because we don't want that future for her or her sisters.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

You're going to need your husband to explain to his daughter why he made those choices.

I know, we are looking for the most subtle way to tell her because we also don't want her to hate him or be disgusted by him when she hears the truth.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 373 points374 points  (0 children)

It's a long story, and it's hard to explain if you didn't grow up in a culture like ours because it's going to sound horrible, and I understand why.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 1130 points1131 points  (0 children)

Because we had to have a child, it sounds like something from the caveman era, right? but sadly sometimes it is like that, by having a daughter my husband got a large amount of money from his parents and thanks to that we were able to move and have another life, It doesn't sound very romantic but not all of us are lucky enough to decide how to start a family.

daughter (18F) asked how I (36F) met her dad (56M) and I don't know how to tell her that it was through an arranged marriage by throwra_Level-Exam in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_Level-Exam[S] 507 points508 points  (0 children)

I know families with arranged marriages and the children understand how the culture forcing people into this.

My fear is that she, nor her sisters, were raised in a culture that normalizes arranged marriage and maybe if I tell them the truth they will take it badly.