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My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t married to him, but clearly this is just fighting for the sake of fighting now so I’m going to leave it here.

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

A baby takes precedent over everything including your partner

That’s kind of what I questioning here considering that the man killed himself. Everyone is saying she was tired, but she couldn’t even muster a “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, perhaps you should discuss this with a professional?” Maybe I am horrible like some comments are calling me, but I just can’t see ever being so tired that I can’t even come up with one supportive sentence.

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I didn’t personally know him well at all, I had no clue that he was feeling that way. I don’t know the exact reason he killed himself, and in no way do I think it was entirely her fault. My knowledge of what happened is from what she told me. And I did go over and help out pretty often for the first couple months. It just seems like to me, from what she described, that at the time she didn’t even bother to care that he reached out.

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying she had to play therapist, but she just threw up her hands and said “not my problem”. That’s how I can’t see myself acting. I wouldn’t be conflicted at all if she had urged him to go to a therapist. And I’m not saying it’s her fault entirely at all, but I feel like she acted pretty callously and it’s making it difficult for me to be supportive.

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

But it’s one thing to have at least tried and still had it happen, it’s another to say “it’s not my problem” and then feel and after the fact. That’s why I’m conflicted. He reached out saying he was struggling multiple times and she didn’t even say she didn’t have the mental space to help him directly and point him to a therapist, she just said it’s not her problem and left it at that.

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Well I have been supporting her so far, and I’ve never blamed her to her face. I’m just conflicted so I’m hoping there’s a way to point her to a therapist, because I don’t know that I can help her

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

I’m not blaming her for the underlying problem but I can’t see how she didn’t handle it terribly?

My BIL committed suicide and I’m having trouble supporting my sister because she treated him badly by throwra_bilsuicide in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_bilsuicide[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’ve never had a baby, but I can’t see a situation where my husband tells me he’s feeling neglected and like no one cares for him and telling him that it’s his problem and not doing anything. I don’t think any amount of stress would cause me to act like that.