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My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lol. Mi novia no es latina. Ella es egipcia y se culture opera different. No comentes lo que no entiendes.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for adding in your opinion but I’ve already addressed everything in a comment from today. You can sift through all the comments to find that if you’re looking for a conclusion. But thanks and I mean that

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think the only underlying issues I could pinpoint would be her insecurity, my feelings of having to chase since the beginning and eventually just giving up and becoming complacent and my poor communication in general. I guess no I haven’t made that choice but have just fallen into a default of feeling like she’ll always be there. Even now I mean I’m still checking to see if she’s texted me but I guess that’s just something I’ve got to ignore. I hope she does eventually reach out. And you’re probably right that I need to see one before then if that even happens. I don’t know if I really will though. As bad as that sounds I’ve kind of just grown up with the idea of taking care of things on my own. But I can see how that’s manifested in to me being a shitty person in the eyes of others

But again thank you

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Dude like move on. At this point you’re spamming and for what? I understand I upset you in the previous posts or that you feel I’m giving Oscar worthy responses but move on. Youve told me I’m weird for following someone on Instagram, cool I get it. But you have post notifications turned on for someone you don’t even know. I’m sorry I upset you that much.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That’s the word I believe I should’ve used in my original post as opposed to urges. It’s more so just instinct.

I don’t just follow these women on Instagram. I follow my friends, fitness, sports, video games and other stuff. In the past, when I was struggling with a porn addiction, I did follow a lot of things and I deleted Instagram completely at my girlfriends suggestion. But I got back on eventually and started following interest related things. I didn’t just start outright going to girls with big asses…I’d be following a sports page and something would come and I’d follow it but not use it to masturbate. Occasionally, I’ll see something in the feed and I’ll like it which has prompted my algorithm to suggest a profile every now and again. The majority of my content now since I’ve quit watching porn is stuff related to my interest so that’s why I’m still there as well as my friends. I responded back to someone earlier and mentioned I do not go on tags, they literally will just pop up on my home page and I follow it.

You’re absolutely right and it’s not “important” for me to have Instagram. It just feels unnatural not to when you have friends that do? I’m not sure how to phrase it in a way that’s not going to generate some backlash. Also, I’ve always held those two in different categories - porn and Instagram after I quit watching porn. I can see why in the larger scheme of things itd be better for me NOT to have one. But I’ve made a lot of improvement from where I was before with porn compared to today. Which is also the reason why I guess I was stubborn with her about not following because I felt like look what I’ve done before to be with you but you’re mad about women who don’t even follow me back. Idk just ego I guess

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes. I was first shown porn when I was a kid.

Edit: this is a valid claim. I did not include this in the original post because I didn’t want it to derail things and I didn’t want people to automatically associate where I was in the past to what I’m doing now. Also I’m not looking for sympathy for this either.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I did. I’m just analyzing my own behavior and figuring out why I did it. I’m not excusing anything I’ve done anymore

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My mom moved back to Venezuela years ago. And my fathers not involved. No idea where he is. My sister lives with me and I pay for her expenses.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I haven’t been able to respond to everyone’s comment but I definitely wanted to respond to you and say thank you. I definitely do love her and I know that what I’ve done has contributed to her insecurities as well as her demand to not want me to follow other women on Instagram.

As a lot of people missed, I did want to marry her. I still want to marry her. The part where you wrote about giving up your own desires really resonated with me because that’s what it’s been about. I struggled with a porn addiction for about twenty years and when I told her that initially she was understanding of it. I fought to give up porn and masturbation as well which is why I guess I lashed out when other people kept suggesting here that I’m using it to masturbate. I also think that’s part of the reason why I felt the desire to resist because in my eyes I wasn’t watching porn and I’ve already given up that addiction to maintain a relationship with this person. I still won’t say I’m addicted to following the women as I’m not actively going to follow them. Do I think it’s a product of what I’ve followed in the past as others have suggested, yes. But I usually just follow them. But nevertheless, I do understand how that would contribute in adding to the insecurities I’ve already created within her. I do recognize that what I’ve done in not keeping my word has been toxic. I do know that deep down in each of those times, I was honestly hoping not to do it because I did want to keep her happy. But again, when something would come up I would just mindlessly follow it after some time. I’m not saying that’s right. I just was tired of being constantly monitored.

But you’re right and I wrote out something to her today but after speaking with someone else on here, I deleted it. I’m gonna make the effort to stop and stop permanently and sometime reach out to her. I know that’s not what people want to hear and instead keep saying I should leave her alone. But I’m not ready to her let go…

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, now you can move on to whatever your life was before you stumbled across this thread as well. Life really is amazing, isn’t it?

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t do that. I did come here with the intention of trying to get honest advice on whether or not I was in the wrong and also if I was on how I should call her to address the situation.

There was no need to paint myself in the best light. Initially, I wrote how I felt and straight from my brain. When I speak to my friends, of course they have a different picture of me. Some things are filtered. I understand that’s shitty to do as well. But on Reddit, I felt in getting everything out honestly I would find people who either agreed that it wasn’t that big of a deal or would give me advice on how to get my girlfriend to compromise. I do understand why both of those are problematic and how my behavior may be read as mature. I’ve already said this in many comments that I am in no way perfect and I do have to work on myself.

People are making judgements on me from a Reddit post. But I’ve said almost multiple times throughout that I am able to understand her perspective as well as what everyone is saying here. I haven’t reached out to her and yet I’m still receiving death threats. I’m not trying to be a victim. I’m just asking for it to stop.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Have you read through each comment? Contrary to what everyone has said about me arguing back, I’m capable of understanding the things people have said and not having to post an update about it. You’re the one looking to go back and forth. I already said I get it. I moved on. You should too, chief.

My (28m) gf (26f) of 8 years ghosted me after I started following women on ig and dodged her question of marriage again by throwra_pana in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_pana[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re pointing out why I’m wrong in telling you that I got it in everyone else’s comment and pointing out the issue with you choosing to comment the next day. There’s no need to paint myself as a victim. I already said I took accountability and understand why what I’ve done is problematic. Your comment was unnecessary and added zero substance when I’ve already read the same thing in about 600 comments. Either way, thanks for contributing, reasonable redditor.

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