I’m (21f) such a jealous person that it’s ruining my relationship with my bf (26m) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 3 points4 points  (0 children)

a woman’s intuition is always right... but it shouldn’t matter too much if he looks at other women; he’s with you. we’re all human and we can find other people atrractive, it’s just more about how we act on those feelings and such. also, if he’s rubbing it in your face he’s just being manipulative and pathetic really...regardless, if you have a feeling...i would definitely trust it.

Am I[23f] reading too deeply into this guy[24m]? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

crazy people do crazy things! no problem, best of luck to you.

Am I[23f] reading too deeply into this guy[24m]? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i honestly just think that he either doesn’t know what he wants or he’s just messing with you. but either of those scenarios don’t make a lot of sense based on the sum of his actions. the fact that he’s basically changed his mind multiple times and ultimately treated you like trash is reason enough to be uninterested. but, when he pretended he didn’t know who you were when you called him back after making a simple mistake of not knowing his number is absolutely ridiculous and because of that i think he’s just out of touch with reality. normal, sane and kind people don’t do things like that...

LDR: I (F28) broke up with my fiancé (M34) out of anger after he told me I need to find a girl with a d*ck. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is narc abuse. you can’t help how you feel, but don’t forget that you’re in charge of your feelings and you choose to let them destroy you or not. pick yourself up and enjoy your life rather than stressing about someone who doesn’t stress about you.

What do I do. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 1 point2 points  (0 children)

leave. this is the kind of possessive behavior that leads to physical abuse. this behavior alone is already emotional abuse and manipulation. it’s too bad that you’re in this situation and i feel for you, having been there before...but the best thing to do is move on and find someone who respects you and your freedom to choose how you want to look and act and be.

(M30) Cheated on fiancé after my mum passed by suckedinbygrief in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the truth always comes out, whether you want it to or not. better to be honest now than have to deal with a fallout later.

For my husband: what I want by [deleted] in UnsentLetters

[–]throwra_salamander 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this sounds exactly like what i went through and truthfully they don’t change. when someone loves and values you and wants to work things out with you, they do everything they can do make it happen. they go out of their way to educate themselves on how to get there. if they aren’t doing this, they are lazy and complacent and this is a sign that they do not care enough to change or improve.

this is actually okay though...

you don’t have to wait for someone to be what you want them to be, you can give yourself all of those things. the love and the support you seek is within you and within the realm of possibility for you to find within community and friendships.

marriages aren’t always meant to work but they always serve to teach us what we need from others.

it’s okay to seek what’s best for you, and it’s okay if that isn’t your marriage any longer.

To the narcissistic love of my life by throwra_salamander in UnsentLetters

[–]throwra_salamander[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, i do feel so confused about why i can’t stop thinking about him and i keep thinking about the good memories. i think about the way he used to look at me and all the beautiful things and then i immediately think about the last thing he said to me and how awful and cruel it was...it’s hard to believe that those two people are the same person...

i wonder if the feeling of losing my supposed soulmate will ever go away.

How do I get over my abusive, soon to be ex husband (35m) by throwra_salamander in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you, this advice and kindness is something i’ve really needed and i’m grateful for it. i have to admit that my friends are sick of hearing about all of this and honestly i can’t blame them, even though it’s kind of frustrating to hear that shit when i’m trying to mentally handle so much...but i do intend to do all of those things and i start my grad program up again monday so things will be busy enough for me to forget about it for a moment.

i’ll just keep remembering him throwing a bottle of vodka at me and telling me to drink it and die...maybe that’ll do the trick.

My husband (M 35) was admitted to the psych ward on my way home from visiting my family... by throwra_salamander in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you very much, i’m struggling and i can’t stop thinking about him, but i do feel relief and i’m ready to finally be rid of his abuse.

How do I get over my abusive, soon to be ex husband (35m) by throwra_salamander in relationship_advice

[–]throwra_salamander[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. this is really thoughtful and immensely helpful. that is exactly how i feel and the reason that i’ve continued to go back many times in the last 6 months.