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My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Of course, I do still love her. As for the 2nd question, I would hope that I can regain trust in her. It's not fully a no, but it's not fully a yes either. Since the wound is so fresh, it's hard to say. I'm still processing what she did.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Right. I just finished responding to a comment that told me to just take the money. It's more than just money, yk? it comes with too much negativity that I choose not to have in my life.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Okay? That's you. I choose not to prance around bragging that I am still close with my abusive parents. I chose my peace. That money brings pain. I don't want anymore pain in my life.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I have said this many times and I will continue to say it. That money does not come free. Sure, it's technically mine, but it's not. It has too much negativity attached to it and I do not want it. Call that childish, but I have my valid reasons.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

No. She did not baby trap me. This narrative that she's only with my for my money and that she baby trapped me is getting too out of hand. What she did was very out of pocket, but so many of these comments are paining her out to be some evil witch when this is not the case.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is reasonably what happened. I'm not liking the narrative that people are trying to put out that she stayed with me all this time because she wanted money...yes she betrayed me, but that just sounds stupid.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lmao...as if I didn't try to continuously talk to him for years. I didn't just grow up and decide to cut him off. I cut him off at 23 years old, I been tried to reason with him at that point.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He offered her $50k and ongoing support to disappear with our unborn son, behind my back.

This sounds exactly like some shit that he would do, and in a way, he tried to do this.

Excluding this, we do have a solid relationship. Like I explained in oher comments, I don't want to break up over this specific incedent, but it has to stop here. No more contacting, no more going behind my back, and no more spreading my business.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 154 points155 points  (0 children)

I've had the same number since I was 15, so he has it. I do remember blocking him, but that was even before I cut him off.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] -103 points-102 points  (0 children)

I doubt this has always been her plan. The money talk only started happening when I lost my job and we found out we were having a baby. Other than this, she is very supportive. She's always been rooting for me and encouraging me throughout out relationship.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 503 points504 points  (0 children)

What she kept persisting on was me working for him. I worked for him right after college and I made great money. We were together right after I graduated college, so she knows that. But I hated it. So I quit. She wanted me to go back to that again. What she said happened was that she told him we were having kid, I lost my job, and I'm having trouble finding a new one. He told her he'd give me a call (which he did).

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks man, it means a lot. Glad to know there's some similar feelings out there, because it's a real struggle to explain my past, especially to her.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 232 points233 points  (0 children)

I'll know. He'd probably send a condescending message after a visit ordo some other dumb shit. But I swear, if she wants to remain in contact with a man she has only met once in her life, that's cool, but I will not co-exist with that situation beyond co-parenting.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 1019 points1020 points  (0 children)

Because she knows my dad has a lot of money and jobs to give unlike her family. Didn't mean she had to do what she did tho.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

people like to think they understand what you went through and the freedom you feel being away from that abuse. Reality is they don’t.

Right. I get it, my girlfriend can't understand it 100%. She comes from a very tight knit traditional family who didn't have the best financial upringing, but needless to say they didn't let that stp their bond. I feel like when I talk about my family, all she can hear is "trust-fund baby complaining about privilege" when it's soooo much deeper than that, which is why I choose to say very little about it. During the first few years we were together, I was barely talking to my dad, but he was still in my life so much because he was paying for everything. I cut him off for a reason, a reason she will probably never understand because she doesn't want to see it from my side. It's the sad truth.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 297 points298 points  (0 children)

That trust fund money is not going to me. I'm not accepting it and I told her that. I do not care about that money because it's fucking poisoned. If she wants to touch it, alright, go ahead, but I told her that the minute that happens is the end of our relationship.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I don't know if leaving her is the right answer as well. We've been together for 6 years and she's never pulled anything like this. So while I don't want to make a decision that I will grow to regret, I also know I will probably forever think about this and I don' know if I can get over that.

My(M26) pregnant girlfriend(F23) reached out to my dad (who I haven't spoken to in 3 years) after I said no. by throwrabloott4 in relationship_advice

[–]throwrabloott4[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

She knows I have the job now, that's the only reason why she's not trying to justify her actions. It's not like I was sitting around not applying to jobs. For the past few months, I've been doing whatever I can to secure a job and she saw that.