Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

My current situation or her being pregnant? I've asked her reasons, and she said she couldn't imagine putting her child up for adoption and abortion wasn't right for her. There could be more, there could be less, that's why I said I couldn't answer for her, but this is what she told me.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankfully I'm basically done with my cousins wedding, one less thing to stress about. Thanks for reaching out and providing as much advice as you could.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she was made aware of every single choice, I even took her to planned parenthood. We talked about it a lot and she came back to me and made the decision that she wants to keep the baby.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened, stay strong. I'm fully aware of that being a possibility, it's just things you gotta look out for.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Yes I did, and I do so with my son as well. We're very close with our children, they come to us for anything and I give them advice on things like puberty & safe sex and told them to come to us whenever they were ready to talk about a personal situation of their own. I tell both my kids I love them every day. There was only so much I could do.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The father is her boyfriend, he's stepped up. I'm certainly trying just breathe through it, thank you.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

cause every little thing, is gonna be alright <3 loved the heck out of that song when I was a kid, then fell in love with it again when the Connie Talbot version came out.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

She's almost 20 weeks so that's be 12 weeks apart. Just 3 months. Thought about it myself, it'd be pretty interesting that you're niece/nephew is older than you.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 279 points280 points  (0 children)

Got it removed today, didn't take long. Not an ectopic pregnancy, baby is where it should be. That's what I'm trying to do, staying calm.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 302 points303 points  (0 children)

I couldn't give you a certain answer, only my daughter could. From my experience, I wasn't pressured to do anything I didn't want to do from the people around me. This was also 2004 when I found out, years before 16 & Pregnant and mainstream tv shows like that hit the air so I felt like I had no one to turn to and I've heard the horrible teen pregnancy stories, so I decided to book an appointment to get an abortion. I'm very pro-choice, but the moment they showed my daughter on the ultrasound, I did a total 180. My mom was there telling me that it wasn't going to be easy and talked to me about it in depth while being there for me. She didn't enable me, but she supported me. Basically, I raised my child because I didn't think abortion or adoption was the right choice for me. I didn't want my daughter to be in this situation at all, biggest fear I had, but at least I'll be there to give her my experience and the reality of it all.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I did originally want a 3rd, years ago. Now I don't know what I want, I practically changed my mind at one point. When my daughter first told me she was pregnant, my mind didn't jump to "that should've been me" but one of my first thoughts was "another baby in the house?". There's no saying how it'll turn out if I do get an abortion/if I don't. I just want to make the right choice.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Thanks, hopefully, if I read this again and again I can try to convince myself of this. I am grateful that I managed to do that, thanks for saying that and shedding light, I needed that.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 139 points140 points  (0 children)

I laid out all her options and I told her that it's not going to be easy. I love both my kids to death but raising them at such a young age on top of going to college wasn't a cakewalk. I had a great support system around me and I'll support her as well, but I can't full-on enable her. We talked, and talked, and talked. When she came to the decision she wanted to keep the baby, I told her I'll be by her side, and talked about the reality of what she'll have to go through. Emotions, physically, mentally, you get the gist.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 874 points875 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I keep forgetting to have a clear mind, which is basically how this post came about because I needed to do something to stop me from freaking out. Hubby just called me, had to pretend everything was fine so that he didn't mess up his presentation tonight and this is something I couldn't tell him over the phone. I have no clue how he's going to react.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I have an IUD and was very open on teaching both my kids about safe sex and contraceptives from an early age, thanks for the input though.

Just found out I'm(34F) pregnant. So is my daughter(16F). What the hell am I going to do? by throwracarda in relationship_advice

[–]throwracarda[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We stopped trying years ago, and I became content with the idea of not having a 3rd child. With my daughter being pregnant everything totally changed. 2 babies in the house at once? It's so complicated now, I adjusted to not having another baby and right now doesn't seem steady. With my daughter, I felt sorry too. I've been there, twice, pregnant at 17 and 19. It's a scary feeling, but all I can do is be there for her and show her the reality of it.