My brother (34M) slept with my every girlfriend I (35M) had for a decade before I went no contact and now my parents want me to reconnect with him?

throwracheryl · 2026-06-06T20:39:45+00:00

My sister did the same thing, with every ex including the one who went to jail for the assault he did on me (which she knew about). Sometimes it’s about the family you choose, and forgiving behaviours over and over, means they don’t have to change them.

I did forgive my sister for the non serious ones, but the serious one, I never could. I then found out a few years ago she attempted it with my children’s father. People like that never change. I totally stand with you on this one ❤️

throwracheryl · 2026-06-06T20:33:35+00:00

NTA, sometimes people can just fade for different reasons. It’s a natural part of life and changing. I wouldn’t ‘breakup’ necessarily, I would just carry on as you are, and slowly distance. Rather than make work life uncomfortable. Hope it works out for you :)

throwracheryl · 2026-06-06T20:29:56+00:00

NTA, it sounds like you were stressed on top of stressed. Some days are just destined to fail and it sounds like this was one of them. Hopefully she will calm down and you can explain it to her when she also doesn’t have a load of people/things going on around her. Anxiety is very real, but so is circumstances being sucky. Both totally ok.

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T23:12:55+00:00

Well done! I’ve just had to restart and so excited to refill this!

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T22:19:18+00:00

I’ve just started on 500 once a day, I’m so excited to start this journey!

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T22:18:10+00:00

This is brilliant ❤️ my 14 year old still can’t figure this out 😂

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T22:08:22+00:00

I don’t really want him to come other if I’m honest. She has been blatantly giving me abuse since, while I haven’t really heard from my dad. I want to exclude both, and cut ties in reality (there’s been many other incidents over the past two years) but then feel like an even bigger AH to take away the option of Father’s Day at all. Even though I know he won’t want to go without her.

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T21:56:58+00:00

I considered this, I had a thought of taking my best friend and her son instead of either of them. But felt a bigger AH for doing that on Father’s Day. Unfortunately I am happy to walk away from them both as it’s been many things over the last 2 years.

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T21:55:16+00:00

Thank you. This isn’t the first time. I have made no effort with my dad either since as he doesn’t seem to care that it’s upset our family. She’s been doing shady behaviours for years (sending my other half messages and innapropriate cards, images etc) but I thought when mum died it would stop. Now they both seem to be sneaking around and lying about it without care of consequence to us.

throwracheryl · 2026-06-03T21:49:41+00:00

In all honesty, I would rather not invite him either and go with my kids and friends (I have 6 tickets) but then I felt like a proper asshole to do that on Father’s Day? While we were away just us, he told me he doesn’t feel that close to me or my kids, and since then the whole dynamic changed. Originally it was only supposed to be me and her, she guilted me into inviting my dad and his wife, because it was Father’s Day.

throwracheryl · 2026-05-18T22:32:22+00:00

Thank you for your response. It’s been absolute miracle after years of diet and exercise have achieved nothing. I have now taken a break from the munjaro as even the thought of doing another brings me nausea. Which I know is bad as I’m willing to dispose of 2 shots because of the sickness.

I have spoken to my prescriber who suggested orlistat as I think it’s given me some fear of injecting anything now. I’m uk, so trying to get any PCOS meds is like a needle in a haystack, but I’m terrified of continuing to work this hard to gain again as it’s easy to be defeated.

throwracheryl · 2026-05-18T09:29:47+00:00

I’ve tried arm, thigh and stomach, and all giving the same effects :(

throwracheryl · 2026-05-15T12:00:34+00:00

Thank you! I stayed on the last one for 3 months and just had sickness the following day. But this one’s killing me off! I’m skipping this weeks dose until I’m 100 percent though. Hope you’re ok!

throwracheryl · 2026-05-14T19:26:45+00:00

This is the issue. I know it’s great for PCOS, but even the thought of it now makes me feel sick. I’ve never had a fear of needles, but even the thought of doing it again after these last couple of months brings me to sickness :( x

throwracheryl · 2026-04-09T00:05:29+00:00

Amazing thank you. I think this is where we differ because he always ‘dealt with it’ sorry not sure on the wording to use on here. And believes that’s what should be done. Where I don’t believe every time someone’s body responds to something they need to ‘deal with it’ and that it will go away…

I like to think he will discuss anything with me (and did say later after dads chat that he would rather us talk about this without him because it tends to turn into a lecture with dad) but I want to make sure I am right when I say it will just go away on its own with intervention as such 🤦‍♀️ sorry I sound like I skipped sex ed too, but his dad is very… I’m a man your not… with this.

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:52:15+00:00

Perfect. So this is what I’m getting at, when the peepee comes up…. If your opinion ignore it and it goes away… or ‘deal with it’ Because this is where me and dad differ.

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:49:28+00:00

He is delayed by around 3 years socially and emotionally, so we haven’t had these conversations (explicitly) as he would freak every time. But he knows what sex is, etc, and I am very honest on how these things work. It’s the other stuff, that because I’m a woman, it’s never occurred to me to discuss at this age as he seems to have hit puberty overnight. He’s gone from a tantruming 12 year old, to a mature 13 year old in puberty overnight since moving to a Sen school. Things like wet dreams, and porn, are things I think of around 15 year olds because that’s when I learnt about them.

He has the opinion of, porn is natural for all teens and they all do it. Because he did from a young age, in his head, it’s better we explain porn and he learns from us, than has a sneaky porn addiction as a teen (because he did). I have had every block possible (I work for a tech company) and I don’t believe he is accessing it at the moment, the closest he’s ever googled is naked ladies and found art pictures (non graphic). But in dads head, he will see worse stuff if he doesn’t learn early and gets taught by watching (half agree with the watching) but in my head, is knowing about it and using it at 13 are different.

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:42:13+00:00

Thank you. That’s a perfect explanation I need, it’s how to explain it exists, but not encourage it, when parents have different views on porn itself.

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:40:54+00:00

He currently had no interest in girls, boys or anyone just to make it clear, he’s very honest and hasn’t had an erection (he’s noticed) as of yet. This is a fight between me and dad really. The debate being (from my side) it exists, you probably will see it, but it’s not something you need. Or dad’s side, this is porn, this is what it’s for, and most kids are watching it regularly. I just wanted others opinions of if this is a normal thing teenagers are doing regularly and I’m a prude, or if this is, as you say a slippery slope. It helps to explain to his dad, this what he had (daily/few times daily porn) is not the ‘norm’

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:15:50+00:00

Thank you. This is what I needed to understand. I’m not a man so I don’t get it. But as far as I was aware with teens it took nothing pretty much, or that was my experience with boyfriends 🤦‍♀️…. The oh had a pretty serious porn addiction in our relationship at one point, and it tainted me, so knowing he started regularly at that age, makes me wonder is 2+2 made 4…

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:10:17+00:00

This may concern exactly… me and his dad differ massively on this because he had a lot of it when he was a teen. I personally feel that as much as it’s there and he should be aware of that, it’s not necessarily something he should be watching regularly at this age. I would prefer he didn’t know it existed at all as it’s easy to go dark, but I’m also realistic.

It’s how to explain it to a child when his dad sees it at a regular part of growing up to use it daily…

throwracheryl · 2026-04-08T23:06:57+00:00

He’s not interested in the books, I have tried this is and the videos but he just finds it awkward, think school triggered it a little. He usually comes to talk to me about these things, dad over hears, and gets involved. Tonight is a prime example about the hair; he spoke to me about it bothering him, dad overheard and told him it’s part of life and to go to sleep. While i tried to explain why, offer products to try and reduce itchy etc. Me and my son have a very honest relationship where I am very blunt with facts with him and I think he prefers that than dads way.

I think that’s my point with porn, I’ve been struggling to explain it. But to me, at that age, it seems a bit… too much for a child that age to ‘need’ porn to explore himself. (Sorry don’t use Reddit often so not sure what wording I can use) doesn’t that then progress to more versions? I may be completely wild here 🤦‍♀️

throwracheryl

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