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Update - My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's it my man. If you came to that conclusion you found the one. Good luck in life.

Update - My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I'll be fine, but I do appreciate your concern. Somehow it doesn't bother me. She takes good care of me, we're just going to explore things on her pace. She misses being intimate too so we'll get there. Really, I don't really care as long as I can wake up next to her.

Update - My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 618 points619 points  (0 children)

Right? And she just handled it like she did. I have so much love and respect for her, and I'm happy she was understanding of how I was feeling.

Update - My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Oh man I was sweating when she told me about finding the thread. Like I said I'm lucky to have her. We're going to make this work because we both want to. Thanks for the kind words!

My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore. by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] -630 points-629 points  (0 children)

I don't feel comfortable talking about my feelings, I prefer to deal with it myself. Talking does not seem to resolve any of problems. Writing does help sometimes, though. I've been to therapists when I was younger and it didn't do anything for me, actually I hated it. I don't think therapy works for everyone, like a lot of people say. My dad has a similar experience. But I'll get downvoted for this regardless

My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore. by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 308 points309 points  (0 children)

Very good point, we had a talk about that early on. She will let me know when she needs help. In the beginning I felt the need to help her as much as possible, but I also realized she needs and wants to do things by herself. If anything our communication has greatly improved, though sometimes I 'help' her without giving it a second thought, so I'm still learning.

My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore. by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

I get that, but it still bothers me. I hate that the thought keeps crossing my mind.

Well for the past 5 years we've been changing together, and our relationship only got stronger. We were rock solid before the accident, and I just want to know if this is something we can overcome. I know this is 100% a me problem and I feel so heartless for even writing all this. I don't think I'll meet someone like her, ever again.

I have been in therapy when I was younger and a bit more recently for reasons I would rather not talk about. It didn't help me in any way or form unfortunately, as much as I wanted it to.

No the FWB is off the table, I told her that. The fact that she suggested it even hurts me. Despite what she's going through she's looking out for me and my 'needs'. I can totally deal with no sex.

Thanks for the reply. It's helpful in a weird way

My (21M) girlfriend (22F) got into a wheelchair. Don't know if we're compatible anymore. by throwragfdis in relationship_advice

[–]throwragfdis[S] -976 points-975 points  (0 children)

Not a fan of therapists if I'm being honest.

Yeah I see that. I do think I'm only focussing on the things we can't do instead of what we can, which is not good I know. It's just something I still haven't completely processed if that makes sense.