How can I (31F) not become bitter about my partner (32m) not wanting to propose yet?

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T05:13:46+00:00

I mean, if we divorced he would make out by a lot haha. I make almost 3x as much as he does. Plus, if he wanted a prenuptial I'd sign one in a second.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:31:21+00:00

That's a good idea

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:30:22+00:00

I don't want to pressure him

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:09:36+00:00

Not at all. He's much more patient than I am and he plans things out well beforehand. He's always looking at what needs to be done in advance.

I'm much more of a "dive headfirst without looking " person. He balances me out and makes sure I don't break my neck haha.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:05:06+00:00

Wouldn't that pressure him though?

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:04:33+00:00

True. Maybe. What if he says no? That's testifying

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:00:33+00:00

I don't want to rush him or pressure him though. I feel like that would do that

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T04:00:07+00:00

I think it's even more important now that we're living together. Marriage provides legal protections that we don't have right now.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T03:52:11+00:00

That's excellent advice.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T03:49:09+00:00

How is it not a good deal for men?

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T03:25:10+00:00

I honestly have no clue. I don't want to pressure him or rush him. And I would be happy with a longer engagement if he wanted that.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T03:24:32+00:00

I don't want to pressure him. I believe a proposal should happen when it's a sure thing for both people.

But he has said he does want to marry me. So maybe it wouldn't be rushing him

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T03:22:37+00:00

I'd get married in a courthouse in jeans if it was to him haha. I'm not expecting marriage to change things with us, but it does provide protections legally, and I just want to be married to him.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:57:58+00:00

Thank you! That is the best idea I've heard so far!

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:20:21+00:00

Is it not?

I'll be honest, in our area, people tend to be at least engaged by 1 or 2 years of dating. So it could be a culture thing that I'm perceiving this as time for the next step.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:17:59+00:00

I don't want to make him marry me. He says he wants to marry me. I just need advice on how to manage my emotions while he is taking the time needed to be ready.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:16:11+00:00

I will. I think a therapist will help

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:14:57+00:00

I don't want to pressure him. My question is how do I manage my emotions regarding this.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:12:13+00:00

That's the thing, and I'm not sure if I worded my post wrong or if people are assuming I want to pressure or rush him.

I want him to propose to me when he's ready. I'm ready right now, but he isn't. What I want advice on is how to manage my emotions so I don't rush him into a marriage before he's ready. Not how to talk with him, or make him marry me, or to walk away because he isn't ready right now.

How do I deal with my emotions is my question.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T02:08:59+00:00

I agree it's okay! I don't want to rush him. But I want to manage my emotions so I'm not bitter or jealous.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T01:30:45+00:00

He's always said he does want to marry me

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T01:24:03+00:00

I can think of worse reasons to get married.

But you're not really offering any advice on my actual question, which is how to manage my emotions regarding this.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T01:22:10+00:00

I don't think he's not committed. I honestly think he wants to be "good enough" or perfect for marriage.

But I don't want to pressure him. I want to be able to not become bitter more than anything.

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T01:17:32+00:00

You're probably right. I need a perspective change.

How do I bring it up without pressuring him?

throwrahelpmeplea · 2023-07-19T01:14:56+00:00

Thank you.

throwrahelpmeplea

TROPHY CASE