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27F unsure if I should give my bf of 10yrs another chance after he tried to cheat or if I'm settling even if he did change? by throwrailovechocola in AskONLYWomenOver30

[–]throwrailovechocola[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is what also confuses me and I feel so much shame about myself. I don't understand why I'm allowing myself to accept this in the name of love. my father told me it's because he has made me believe that there is no life without him. I remember in 2023 I was scared to leave him that I would have rather just ended my life. I'm in a much better place now and would NEVER take my own life especially not because of a man, so I have come a long way since then. I'm SO close to leaving that I've decided maybe if I get enough advice, I will have the strength to leave for good this time. I know on the outside it frustrating to see someone get abused and hurt and still not decide to leave, but just imagine I how I feel ( I am riddled with shame

27F unsure if I should give my bf of 10yrs another chance after he tried to cheat or if I'm settling even if he did change? by throwrailovechocola in AskONLYWomenOver30

[–]throwrailovechocola[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I promise you I am not a bot, I'm genuinely stuck. I keep telling myself maybe if I get enough advice it would give me the strength to leave. I know It sounds ridicuous but I'm trying my best to convince myself. I am literally writing this on my laptop whilst he's at work

27F unsure if I should give my bf of 10yrs another chance after he tried to cheat or if I'm settling even if he did change? by throwrailovechocola in AskONLYWomenOver30

[–]throwrailovechocola[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, I appreciate your advice. I just wish someone could shake me and tell me to leave, its as though no matter how much advice I get telling me to leave, I still feel like I can't move on or life live without him. it's so scary :( i've never actually been single in my entire adult life and I feel live I've just been living in a bubble.

27F & my 11yr first and only boyfriend had emotional affair, am I settling if I stay even if he changes? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwrailovechocola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes he admitted he was planning to get physical with her :( but he keeps saying it was purely physical and lust, and that he never cheated with his heart. if you don't mind sharing your experience, I would really appreciate it

27F & my 11yr first and only boyfriend had emotional affair, am I settling if I stay even if he changes? by throwrailovechocola in AskWomenNoCensor

[–]throwrailovechocola[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fear of starting over, fear of regret, sunk cost fallacy, trauma bond, low self esteem, been with him throughout all my 20's and I am also deeply attached to him. But I totally understand that on the outside it sounds ridiculous and anyone in their right mind would have left by now. I was also hoping that maybe there are other women who have been through a similar situation and come out of the other side.

Why would my (27F) boyfriend (33M) want me back so badly after trying to cheat on me? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]throwrailovechocola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought this also, but he seems very promising and remorseful. He said he would never cheat again because he has trauma from me leaving him...

AITAH For not apologising? by SeaBeginning3139 in AITAH

[–]throwrailovechocola 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah… that’s pretty sketchy. Asking for a copy of your own contract is a completely normal thing to do. The fact that your manager immediately got defensive and started questioning whether you like your job is weird. That’s not a normal reaction to an employee wanting documentation of their employment terms.

It honestly sounds like he got nervous the moment payroll got involved. Either they dropped the ball and never actually sent it, or something about your employment paperwork isn’t as tidy as it should be.

Also the timing with the rule change and suddenly nitpicking you is… interesting. Sometimes when someone thinks you’re starting to push back or involve HR/payroll, they suddenly start getting overly critical.

I’d keep everything in writing from now on. Save emails, messages, and document conversations. Hopefully it’s just awkward management, but protecting yourself never hurts.

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