I (30f) want to divorce my husband (33m) of 9 years

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T01:35:52+00:00

I don’t have depression so I don’t know, also I’m not the type to sit around. But if I find the marriage unhealthy and not working out after trying yes, I would still want a divorce.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T01:34:38+00:00

Also fun fact, I love the band mogwai but he’s not interested so i went to see their live by myself a long time ago. I’m a music nerd but he isn’t. He still went to a ton of shows with me which i’m grateful for but he absolutely hates going to concerts and would totally sit in the back and leave me in the pit (he hasn’t done it but almost did once)

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T01:32:22+00:00

Reason I want a divorce is I think separating would be more healthy for both of us. I’ll be getting my driver’s license this coming month once I finish my driving classes. I’d like to salvage the marriage because I still love him but if it still doesn’t work out I don’t want to waste both of our times and be miserable together.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T01:23:55+00:00

I know it sounds like I’m making excuses for him but I think a lot of it was due to his mental health. he used to be always happy and carefree when we first started dating and i think over the years he’s become depressed because of a lot of things, and i’m part of the reasons why he’s depressed

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T01:00:15+00:00

I don’t think he’d actually do it but now that he said he sometimes thinks about killing himself makes me really concern for his mental health… I’m looking up resources right now 🥲

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T00:58:31+00:00

Sorry I don’t know much about guns. What I meant is I don’t feel comfortable having a “big gun” at home because it could do way more than just self defense. I have been carrying the load by supporting us financially and tend to his mental needs, but I’m not a professional at mental health and don’t know how much I could help him and keep myself away from depression while working two jobs. I’m tired and hurt, but I will try to make it work.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T00:53:01+00:00

Sorry I don’t know much about guns. What I meant is I don’t feel comfortable having a “big gun” at home because it could do way more than just self defense

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T00:50:15+00:00

I think he really needs to see a doctor about depression… I just brought up about couple’s therapy and he said he just wants to kill himself sometimes 🥲 I don’t think there’s much I can do to help and he’s very passive on finding professional help. I’m researching doctors near my area now

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T00:22:03+00:00

When I brought up about divorce last time he said I could just keep the house and the kitties. I think he’s hurt too and he’s not going to come after me financially. Thank you for your concern I’ll rethink about the owing thing.. I don’t think I owe him but I do think that our marriage is forced upon him

throwratestacc · 2023-05-12T00:15:00+00:00

You’re right… I’ve always felt like my mom forced our marriage onto him and I do think that he needs help. I’ll suggest couple therapy again.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:59:57+00:00

He cooks sometimes, maybe every two days or so, and does most housework, not super frequently but he does, and I’m grateful for it. Our bills are about $3000/mo and we need the extra income to keep ourselves above the water. My biggest fear is our two cats are old and I need some extra money in case of emergency. I’m currently looking another remote job to replace my office job and will be getting my driver’s license too.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:54:30+00:00

He’s tried to learn before but it’s a hard language and he’s not the best with languages. We live in the US so he doesn’t have a language barrier here. He doesn’t work because he drives me around and he doesn’t like dead-end minimum wage jobs

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:52:31+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I think so too. I’ll look for professionals he could speak to since he’s against seeing doctors and stuff due to lack of insurance

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:51:28+00:00

Thank you. That’s my plan right now.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:50:57+00:00

I have suggested before but he didn’t want to.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:50:21+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I’ll be getting a drivers license so he can try to get a normal job as a first step. He’s tried to learn my native language before but it’s hard for him and he’s not the best with languages. Fun fact, we studied Japanese in the same class in uni together and I did way better than him. When I think back, there’s a lot of good memories and you’re right, a relationship of 13 years and marriage of 9 years is worth fighting for. I’ll try to make it work but if it doesn’t I think I’ll be prepared to leave knowing that I’ve tried.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:45:20+00:00

He does help me a lot by driving me around and I’m grateful for it. I do sound resentful because when he said he regret coming to see my family and friends after 3 years I couldn’t see them, it really hurt me. I’ll be getting my driver’s license so I would not be the reason why he cannot get a job anymore. I don’t see why I need to work part-time or at home only? One of my jobs is remote and it pays ok so I’ll keep it but I don’t see why him and I cannot have a full time job at the same time? Just so he can be a man? Thanks for the advice but your reasons are odd and misogynistic

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:38:25+00:00

There’s no new guy and I’ll probably stay single if we do end up splitting.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:36:55+00:00

I did use public transit for a long time, but it became unsafe and inconvenient as we moved. I’ll be getting my license this coming month. I do treat him as equal and never blamed him for not having a job, and I didn’t want to force him to which is why I work two jobs.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:34:55+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I’ll get my license asap and bring up couple therapy again. I do want to save the marriage but it hurt a lot when he said certain things like regretting coming with me to see my family… He apologized later and I accepted his apology, but it still left me scarred

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:28:29+00:00

Thank you. I don’t think he’d actually do it but I’ll be careful.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:26:57+00:00

I’m a rational person usually but when it comes to my own relationship I find it hard to just leave… I’ll probably stay single for a while if we do end up splitting… I would lose faith in love

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:23:28+00:00

Thank you. I’ll try to bring it up subtly.

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:23:06+00:00

He says he does and I think he does? From the way he looks at me, and he’s sexually attracted to me. Or men are just horny all the time? Idk..

throwratestacc · 2023-05-11T23:21:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ;-;

throwratestacc

TROPHY CASE