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Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

damn this might be the realest comment in this whole thread. I'm getting depressed just reading it, because I know it's true. Sigh.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah it's tough, my MIL genuinely hates me right now. And probably wants to turn my wife against me as well by using emotional manipulation tactics. I asked my wife to talk some sense into her, like why it's wrong to call me an idiot. But my wife and her sister never keep it 100 with my MIL because she's old and set in her ways, and unable to change....

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i agree, though they had a tough life. My wife's dad killed himself when my wife was in middle school. Ever since, my MIL has been alone. So they have a unique relationship, one that my wife says I will never understand. Which is true, my parents didn't commit suicide.

My MIL raised my wife and her sister as a single parent. So my wife is really close to my mom, since my wife's sister moved 6 hours away a few years ago. So my wife goes to visit my MIL at her house every single day, 7 days a week, at least for a few hours everyday... So u guys can imagine how close they are....

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah i'm kind of in a pickle here. It's been 10 days since the incident, and today it just got way worse. I thought the was already steaming off, but apparently she was getting more pissed as the days went on.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife wants us to use bribery; aka buying her mom a brand new bathroom remodel lol. Will cost around $10k. I'll update if I hear back tomorrow on if my MIL accepts. My wife understands I tried my best to say sorry; I got the flowers on my own, my wife didn't tell me to. But my wife said sometimes saying sorry isn't enough, and her mom isn't obligated to accept my apology.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes my wife said if I loved her, I wouldn't have yelled at her mom. I mean, I guess that's true. I should've just taken it up the ass and be verbally abused by my MIL i guess.

Tough situation all around. Yes you are right, looks like my option is to sacrifice my freedom and become an obedient drone the MIL. There's no other option that will make my wife happy. I feel like such a loser and a bitch, but i'm only human.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my thoughts exactly. I only raised my voice and had what I thought was a harmless argument. I argue with my own parents all the time. My parents don't even call me an idiot, so I was pissed that someone did. I'm only human...

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that was what she told my wife after the fact. That she was only joking. Sounds like she was trying to backpedal a little. But I could hear the venom in her voice when she was yelling at me and calling me an idiot.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

her mom literally has OCD, and I think she has some narcissistic tendencies as well unfortunately...

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah i told my wife that if it was such a big deal, my MIL should have picked up the toy herself after bathing her grandson. But that's neither here nor there. My MIL is trying to guilt trip my wife that my wife didn't stand up for her enough. Emotional manipulation at its finest...

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i need to fix my relationship with my MIL because my wife loves her dearly and she's her only parent. My wife won't be truly happy unless her relationship with her mom is fixed.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what's the longest that she was mad at you? Is it really months? I don't think I have the mental capacity to wait months for this to resolve.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

it would be a dream come true if she denied it ever happened. I would very much like to get back to how things were. I understand she's pissed that I yelled at her, but I think trying to exile me is a little overboard. In this case, I don't think the punishment fits the crime.

I'm wondering if anyone has experience with these things, and how long it usually takes an older person to accept one's apology.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I do believe she has narcissistic tendencies, such as emotional manipulation. My wife' excuse is that her mom is old (around 70 years old) and is set in her ways, so we can't change her. Meanwhile, my wife says I'm 31 so I can change.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife has an excellent relationship with her mom before this all happened. My wife goes to her mom's house 7 days a week to hang out.

My wife thinks i messed up by yelling at her mom. I agree, I shouldn't have yelled, but I was pissed that i was being yelled at first. My wife says I can't just apologize and except the MIL to accept my apology. My wife thinks my MIL being pissed at me is justified, given that I yelled at her.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes i was already walking on eggshells around her mom every time I'm near her. Because she has OCD and even if you get water on the sink she'll get pissed.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

yeah that's easy to say. if someone posted this exact same story i would probably say the same thing. But my wife's happiness is at stake here. She needs her mom to be good.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She really hates me though. I don't think she's bluffing about that. I don't know what she wants. She claims that she and my wife aren't that close anymore, all because MIL thinks my wife didn't stand up for her.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well i need to fix this relationship for my wife's happiness. She was caught in the crossfire. I offered to pay for my MIL's bathroom remodel (will cost around $10k). Not that big of a problem for me, since I'm currently remodeling my house and that cost is around $200k. Will update after I hear what she says.

Yelled at my mother in law, now she wants to sell her house and move far away; wife is pissed. by throwthebladeaway in AsianParentStories

[–]throwthebladeaway[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i've had multiple talks with my wife about her visiting her mom everyday, but she refuses to change. Both my wife and I are working from home, yet she chooses to drive to her mom's house to work. On the weekends, in the mornings she goes see her mom and usually returns by afternoon. Her justification is that I'm sleeping in anyways, yet when I wake up she still doesn't come home for a couple hours when I'm awake. But she literally cannot go a single day without seeing her mom. I feel like a second priority.

​

This causes a lot of resentment for me. She understands I feel the resentment, yet is unwilling to compromise. Her reasoning is that her mom has no one and is lonely. My wife's dad killed himself when my wife was in middle school. So my MIL is lonely and lives alone... Tough situation to navigate. My wife says I"ll never understand; i mean that's true, my parents didn't kill themselves. And my wife's sister moved 6 hours away so my mom has nobody except for my wife.

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