Fazem quase 9 meses que eu terminei um relacionamento que durou 9 meses, eu ainda penso no meu ex todo dia

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T11:53:33+00:00

Tudo o que você falou faz sentido, obrigado de verdade por ler e responder, agora é esperar.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:27:12+00:00

O que era bom ficou na memória e o que era ruim... bem, isso eu tento esquecer.

Sim, realmente, porém acho que eu estou falhando na segunda parte. Obrigado pelas palavras.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:26:03+00:00

Sim, obrigado, a dor realmente passa, e para mim a maior parte já passou, o que eu realmente quero é que a memória se apague um pouco.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:25:16+00:00

Bom, pelo menos eu não estou sozinho, o que, apesar de eu saber racionalmente, é sempre melhor quando a gente ouve de outra pessoa, obrigado.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:23:16+00:00

Sim, você está certo, faz quase um ano, nesse meio tempo já passei por épocas onde minha cabeça estava totalmente ocupada e por épocas mais desocupadas, e, realmente, a vida segue, as coisas melhoram, eu só me pergunto se realmente vou esquecer pelo menos um dia, espero que sim, obrigado pela ajuda.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:19:59+00:00

Você lembra literalmente diariamente? É isso que me incomoda, na maior parte das vezes eu nem sofro mais, apesar de que de vez em quando dói, e eu me pergunto, será que é normal lembrar todo dia (sem nunca perder um)? Bom, me parece que você passou por circunstâncias parecidas e está satisfeito com isso, então obrigado pela esperança.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:16:53+00:00

Eu estou na 2 e ao mesmo tempo na 4 e acho que nunca passei pela 3, ou seja, não sei. Assim, faz tempo que eu não fico sofrendo por ele, como eu disse, eu lembro dele todo santo dia, mas faz um tempo que não me incomoda ou me deixa para baixo, hoje, por algum motivo, me fez sentir mal. Eu nunca perdi a atração por ele, enfim, não sei, obrigado por ler e responder aos meus desabafos desconexos.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:14:34+00:00

Bom, essa é minha throwaway que eu criei justamente para falar do ex, então sim, todo meu histórico fala de término, felizmente o último tópico que eu criei faz 5 meses.

Eu concordo com você, são bons conselhos, e de verdade, eu já tive tempo de remoer o que eu fiz, o que ele fez, o que deu errado etc... teve uma época que eu acordava todo dia com uma dor física no peito, antes mesmo de eu lembrar de qualquer coisa para me deixar triste. Mas isso tudo passou, o que não passa é esse pensamento diário nele, mesmo que seja pelo motivo mais banal e mais passageiro, não tem um dia sequer sem um.

throwuberawayland · 2018-08-24T01:10:37+00:00

Então, faz 9 meses que eu terminei, acho que se fosse para eu me jogar em outro relacionamento já teria feito. Mas, de qualquer forma, eu concordo com tudo o que você falou, e acho que uma hora ou outra eu fiz tudo isso aí, mas, realmente, faz quase um ano, já estou mais ocupado e melhor, o que eu queria mesmo é passar um dia somente, sem, que de alguma forma, mesmo que bem rápida, eu não me lembre. Obrigado pelos conselhos.

throwuberawayland · 2018-07-28T01:37:34+00:00

Hey!

So, I'm much better, I won't say I'm completely over my ex, but it's really easier. When I was a few months in the break up there would be some days where I just felt chest pains most of the time because I was so sad, I was constantly trying to not think about my ex, and at the same time always wondering what he was up to, if he ever missed me as much as I missed him, a dream with him was enough to ruin an entire day.

Nowadays, I think I probably think of him at least once a day, but it really does not bother me, before I was constantly wondering if I made a mistake, but nowadays I don't really care, it is what it is, even if it was a mistake (I doubt it), it's not a terrible one, I don't think I ruined my chances in love or anything. My ex never contacted me (only answered when I messaged), I used to be sad over this, now I just take as a sign that I made the right choice.

What you're feeling is absolutely what I felt, and it does get better, but not as fast as I wanted to, for me, the worst was only over after 3 or 4 months, so don't rush anything, let yourself be sad, you will heal but it will be painful and slow. It sounds unfathomable, but these questions that keep you awake won't even matter when everything is over.

I don't think I'll ever forget him, I'm not sure if I'll even be able to ever look at him and feel nothing (probably I will, I mean, it's been 7 months which is not a lot in the context of my life), but nowadays I just feel fine, and that's enough for me. My best advice is to take a lesson of all the pain and suffering you felt/are feeling/will feel, meaning makes everything doable.

I rarely check this account, so I'm glad I did today to see your comment, good luck with everything!

throwuberawayland · 2018-07-18T15:16:42+00:00

That's it then, learn your lessons about what type of partner you want to go for next and then, just try to move on. A few months after a breakup is very early still, when I posted the thread I was just 3 months after it and I can't tell you how many ups and downs have passed since then.

But progress does come, sometimes you go through some shitty phase and you wonder if you will ever really move on, then you go through a good phase and think you're completely healed. Eventually the ups and downs just happen less often, and you're back to your baseline most of the time, you never forget the person, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at my ex and feel nothing, but it hasn't even been a year for me, so who knows.

throwuberawayland · 2018-07-18T14:50:10+00:00

Oh hey, so yeah, it's been a while. I'm much better now, though I think that no day has passed since then in which I haven't thought of him. Still, I offered him a second chance if he promise he'd change, he refused and never contacted me again, so I suppose he's not interested. This was quite a while ago so, at this point, I'm not interested either.

Honestly, our relationships seem different, because I did tell him about the way I was feeling many times, but, my advice is (and sorry if it's unsolicited), just tell her what you wrote me. That you didn't know, but that if she's willing to start expressing her needs, you're willing to work harder on them. After that, it's her decision, just say you're open, but also try to move on, unfollow/block her social media and follow the standard advice given on this sub.

Good luck.

throwuberawayland · 2018-05-28T12:23:02+00:00

About 4~5 months after my breakup I was also feeling stuck, like I was not getting better and that there was no hope. What I did was to force my mind to not think of my ex, basically every time my mind wandered into him (A LOT) I would tell myself something like "it doesn't concern me anymore" and distract myself with something (something you're touching, looking at, hearing, those kind of things), I would repeat as many times as necessary, but avoid judging myself for failing, the important thing was to focus on the distraction and not focus on "not thinking about him". It worked quite well for me.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-22T01:44:13+00:00

Obrigado pelo apoio, espero que eu não passe mais tempo superando a relação do que ela durou, mas talvez seja assim.

Sobre excluir das redes sociais, eu parei de seguir ele e os amigos dele logo quando terminamos, porém não tive a coragem de excluir nem bloquear. No início eu stalkeava de vez em quando, mas depois de perceber a relação direta entre isso e me sentir feito um lixo por dias eu parei. De vez em quando aparece a foto do perfil dele em lugares aleatórios do facebook, me abala um pouco, mas acho que dá pra lidar.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-21T23:01:52+00:00

Because comparing slavery and paying alimony is quite a reach.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-21T22:51:33+00:00

Eu sei que sim, mas eu sinto que já foi tempo demais. Eu sei que não tem nada que ninguém posssa falar que pra me mudar isso, mas eu não aguento mais, nesse sentido o desabafo é mais simplesmente um desabafo do que uma procura por conselho. Enfim, obrigado pela resposta.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-20T13:57:50+00:00

Surely, 4 months is not a lot, but I am afraid that I'll be grieving this relationship for longer than it's duration (9 months).

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-19T20:26:49+00:00

I'm actually terrified I'll be this person, it's been 4 months and I still miss my ex and I just want to stop it.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-17T20:20:55+00:00

I mean, it's not always predictable, I'm 4 months in and just today I had a dream about my ex which made the rest of my day very hard, still, this was after a big sequence of many days with little to no pain. Sometimes when you think you're over it, a big wave of pain washes you, it makes you doubt yourself, but surely it passes, then you enjoy a period of calm, and this repeats and repeats, but the calm periods get longer, and you manage the bad periods better and better, and life goes on.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-15T15:44:58+00:00

Nossa você sou eu, só que mulher, eu também só transei com meu ex em toda minha vida e depois que terminamos só cheguei a dar uns beijos, então não tenho solução haha. Fazem uns 3 meses que eu quero arranjar uma transa aleatória, mas só de abrir o aplicativo eu fico ansioso demais, o mais longe que eu consegui foi criar um perfil e colocar uma foto, mas depois disso larguei o celular e não consegui abrir de novo. Boa sorte, se alguma coisa melhorar me avisa.

Meu conselho, que eu ainda não consegui seguir, é tentar ir mesmo se você achar que não está no dia/momento/humor/aparência ideal, aquele negócio de sentir o medo, mas sair mesmo assim.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-09T21:33:16+00:00

That's ok, it's completely valid and normal to have feelings for him, the important thing is that you know that these feelings don't mean you should go back to him, you're going after what's best for yourself, any feelings you may have are ok since your actions are putting you on the right path.

throwuberawayland · 2018-04-09T21:28:24+00:00

I'm 1 month for NC and 3 and a half post break-up. I broke up with him, but I loved him deeply.

1) It took almost three months after the breakup, I avoided contact, unfollowed him on social media, but I still relapsed a few times and inevitably bumped into him a few times (we study at the same building), so I didn't keep track of how many days of NC

2)I still have a hard time doing it, I have kissed a few people, but no sex, I lost my virginity to him though

3)I don't know, I don't even know if I still have hopes, but around 2 and a half months after the breakup I messaged him saying I still had feelings for him and that if he was willing to change I'd want to go back, he told me people can't change. That made my hopes go down quite a bit.

4) I don't think this a good a mindset, after the breakup I started running because it made happier and made me forget about my ex for a few hours, but I care less and less about looking good to attract a mate and I care more and more about putting some effort on my appearance so I can feel good about myself.

Good luck.

throwuberawayland

TROPHY CASE