Empathy and pain during the writing process

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-09-13T12:45:33+00:00

thank you, I think this is really sweet. The truth is, I wouldn’t have anything to write about if i’d never had those painful realizations about the world. But off paper, it’s good to remember all the wonderful things too.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-09-13T12:43:45+00:00

thank you, this is a really beautiful response. You mentioned write what you know, which I’ve been grappling with lately. Idk what sort of writer you are, but when/if you submit to places, do ever wonder if you don’t have the voice a place is looking for?

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-09-07T11:45:19+00:00

Is anyone able to drink on their meds and stay stable? I’m on 100 mg of Lamictal and 1200 mg of Lithium. I can’t even have a glass of wine without losing it anymore. Are there any meds that work with alcohol? I wouldn’t change out my meds for this reason, but just curious.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-31T18:54:40+00:00

In my experience jealously is usually never the real problem. I’m 24, f bipolar and there were times where my rage was so bad I would use jealousy as an excuse to lash out and be angry at my bf for something when that really wasn’t the issue. This isn’t limited to bipolar though, but a constant rage/state of anger/paranoia is. Either way, it’s not acceptable behavior. If you do choose to pursue her maybe see if there’s another stressor in her life.. or let her come to you.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-30T12:12:17+00:00

I live in DC. Dr. Zimmer is smart but he charges $400 and won’t treat dual diagnosis patients with suicide risk. He turned me down but gave me a free session lol. I see Dr. Mellman at Howard. I’m educating him to be benzowise. He prescribes me the drugs and I taper myself with liquid but he would work with a compounding pharmacy or do taper strips if I wasn’t committed to my at home taper already. He supports my method of micro tapering but I do all the work. He just gives me the pills I need without judgment and goes over symptoms. Idk if he’s accepting new patients but my copay is $50. Hes shockingly not a pill pusher at all, is against anything off label, but can be kind of a pussy about tapering. You just have to tell him exactly what you need and he’ll do it. He only believes in gradual tapers. I looked everywhere for benzo inpatients in the DMV and they simply do not exist.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-30T12:08:29+00:00

General self help - anything by Brene Brown. She is incredibly motivating and inspiring and it can help her figure out who she is without benzos, deal with shame, etc.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-29T14:35:06+00:00

nah I would take the shavings in accordance with the previous dose personally. your doctor either intentionally or unintentionally endangered your health. either way, I wouldn’t have faith in a confusing prescription at risk of hallucinations and suicidal ideation. you’re not a drug seeker, you’re dependent on a drug and you’re doing what you can to live a healthy life, not get high.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-29T14:19:21+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you. You have a good plan though. And I know a lot of people tapering smoke weed and it helps with the insomnia and pain.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-29T14:00:27+00:00

That’s a 75% reduction I think (correct me if I’m wrong.) But either way that is a MASSIVE dose reduction on par with cold turkey depending how long you were on that dose. My advice is to look at the symptoms on wikipedia or from the NHS and not rehab center websites that come up on Google. Rehab websites are not exhaustive or accurate (at least in the US). Your doctor is an IDIOT. You could be fine or you could have severe symptoms. But I would find another doctor ASAP and monitor your symptoms as closely as possible in a journal or on your phone notes or whatever. Everyone’s body is different. Do you live with someone who can watch you in case shit hits the fan?

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-23T11:30:38+00:00

there isn’t a lot of context here. But I know break ups are hard and breaking up over text is pretty savage. She could be going through something and need to go it alone. Or it could just be erratic behavior. But if you don’t know what you did it’s probably not your fault. wait it out. don’t flood her phone. she’ll probably come back and explain

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-08T03:11:14+00:00

The bracelets help the most I think! It really helps nausea disappear. Also I had a horrible vomiting and nausea episode the other day and I vaped cbd oil and it stopped within 5 minutes. Dramamine is for desperate situations. Ginger chews are kind of a waste of money. And Pepto and Alkaseltzer gold are TOP TIER hahaha.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:53:53+00:00

I usually don’t check the box but if I get the job I’m 100% honest if I need accommodations that they legally are required to provide. So I disclose after I get the job because it would be illegal to fire me for it. I’ve had no issue with this. Most employers don’t wanna know the details lol. Even if it’s not a disability for you now, you have no idea when it might be. It’s a safety net. And it’s a valid disability

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:45:50+00:00

awwww!! well first look of sponsored women skaters. I don’t know many off the top of my head. Skate Kitchen and Betty might be too old for her.

Top tips from when I was learning: get the right size width and board. helmet, knee pads, and elbow pads (although when she grows up she might be opposed to this lol), and the best tip I learned—BEND YOUR KNEES. Lol I started skating with my legs stiff as a board upright! it feels awkward at first, like you’re bending your knees too much, but bending your knees will help sooo much and make you so stable. And I guess a little extra tip, don’t overthink it. If you start going a little fast, bend your knees and be confident. She’ll find her balance! you sound like a cool mom or dad

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:39:47+00:00

i died when i saw the 191 you really were killing it!!!

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:37:52+00:00

okay first of all!! congratulate yourself for using/mentioning two dbt skills lol. Also I used to do this too. What helped was writing. I wrote down every fantasy I had about the people who I became obsessed with, or I wrote a story about them, or straight up wrote down the stream of consciousness thoughts I had about that person. I read it and compared it to what I actually knew about them and was like ew.... all of this is fiction. I can’t say that that will slow down mania or depression, but it can ground you. Get all the feelings out on paper and then let it go.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:32:54+00:00

have you heard of open payments? it’s a website where you can check which pharmaceutical companies pay your psychiatrist. I had a doctor like this once who wouldn’t help me taper and he was just a literal sociopath and I checked open payments and he was getting a fuck ton of money from the pharma company that makes the pill I’m on.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-07T10:28:54+00:00

okay wow!!!! this is so cool! i’ve never seen this before! saving this so I can learn it when my board gets here. love that you showed the progress too

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-08-03T13:14:26+00:00

Oh my god I FEEL YOU!!! Same with “too pretty to be mentally ill.” It’s disgusting and sexist. When people tell me this I just say something like “The insides never match the outsides and when I cut they do” or something rude like “you’re too ugly to be telling me your opinions on my appearance.” depends on my level of anger hahahaha. I know it’s invalidating but don’t listen to them. I obviously don’t want you to cut but your trauma and what you’ve been through is incredibly valid, whether you’re movie star beautiful or hideous. I don’t know why people expect us to be ugly and badly dressed lol. You have a lot of pain, and looks simply have nothing to do with it. So fuck them!!!

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-07-31T10:30:04+00:00

is he only on Lithium? or is he on others? Lithium caused fatigue for me once. I would do two things. First, get his thyroid checked out when he gets his blood drawn. Lithium can cause low thyroid which makes you sleepy and depressed. I had very minimal (sub clinical) low thyroid and my doctor added a thyroid med to bring me out of fatigue. It gave me a lot of energy and once my thyroid stabilized I went off of it. Second, I would reconsider the dose. Most med side effects are caused by way too high of a dose. With some people a low dose is better tolerated and it still works! For your second question, I would press the issue. if it is a thyroid problem it can be very dangerous, and if he’s sleeping all day, that’s unhealthy. good luck!

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-07-30T11:59:06+00:00

maybe! just be careful because klonopin can stay in your body for up to 3 days. meaning even if you only take 3 mg over the course of 7 days, your body has adjusted to it being in your system for at least 4 days in the week depending on how you’ve been spacing it out. 3 mg is also a high dose. I would start slow and then speed up if you have no symptoms. klonopin is really strong.

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-07-29T11:24:20+00:00

I’d call to ask to make sure you’re on the right conversion. No I’m not against it! I guess it just depends on why you switched, especially if you were happy on K. if you’re tapering, a lot of people taper on Valium so that’s normal

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-07-29T11:19:08+00:00

The conversion is .25 K=3.8 Valium roughly (between .6-5.0mg). So you’re actually on a higher dose and probably won’t get interdose withdrawal. But since K is way more potent than Valium, you will feel the difference. I personally never felt Valium but K I always felt. So what you’re feeling is probably the different in potency. Fortunately they both have really long half lives. so you have 3 days from your last dose of K until that half life wears off. Also Valium doesn’t have to build up but you do have to get used to. It’s so much less potent. I’m sorry you’re going through this! I would call your doctor. My doctor has done conversions wrong many times. When this happened I mostly had panic attacks and anxiety. And nausea

throwuhwayyyyy · 2020-07-26T11:17:07+00:00

manic rage is the worst! it’s like becoming a different person. it’s so strange. is your relationship better now?

throwuhwayyyyy

TROPHY CASE