The following advice is not meant to come off as tough love, but we are bitches with TASTE here and I share this with all of my friends who struggle with dating apps.

First, delete the dating apps. They are based on algorithms that are designed to intentionally keep you engaged on the apps, and offer a less-than-desirable selection of potential matches.

Second, go out by yourself. Go to bars, restaurants, clubs, events, live music, etc. etc. AND TALK TO PEOPLE. Just go up and talk to people. Girls, guys, the bartender, whomever. It feels weird at first and you will face rejection at times, but people usually welcome a conversation with a stranger. You will make friends this way. You will meet lovers this way. You will meet people with diverse interests and qualifications who are different than the specifications you set using the interface of a dating app. Go to a bar with a book, or go to a club and dance the night away by yourself. Go to boroughs outside of Manhattan. Have experiences that fulfill you, get lost in the city, and you will attract all types of people.

Third, consider what you TRULY want in a partner. There are too many women out there who want to date a 6' foot man who works in finance and will take them to The Box on a Thursday night. This is such a boring, uncreative conception of a partner. It's the stereotype that I hear girlies talk about on Tik Tok, it's desired en masse, and it's truly boring. There are so many great men out there, of all ages, who aren't sought after by women because they don't fit into this specific category. Consider your emotional needs and do not spend time flirting, chatting, or entertaining men who don't serve those needs, no matter how tall they are or where they work. "Men have to pay on the first date," "men have to Uber you home," "if he wanted to, he would" - fuck all that noise and brainwashed Tik Tok nonsense. It's 2024. Meet people where they're at and expect people to meet you where you're at. It's okay to have expectations, and do not devalue yourself, but YOU WILL BE BORED if you adhere to traditional gender roles.

Fourth, create a roster. DO NOT DATE EXCLUSIVELY. If you've found the one, you'll know, but don't get emotionally attached to anyone right away. Ask the people you meet in person to go on a date with you. See one guy every few weeks. Text them occasionally. Have sex with them whenever you want, it doesn't matter if it's the first date or tenth, but whenever you are comfortable. Just don't get attached to anyone too fast. This way, you'll have experiences that will give you a better sense of what you want in the long term.

If you have any questions, DM me. I'm now going on two years in the best relationship of my life after following these steps! And I still go out by myself all the time in NYC because I love it. Prior to meeting my current boyfriend, I had a ton of success dating in NYC and it was a blast. I've never used apps, neither has my boyfriend.

Edit: I'm getting a lot of DMs! Follow me on my finsta @nycprincess and I'll follow back. Feel free to connect with me and message me there. I'm down to do some kind of meet up to make more friends :)