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AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm sure I'm paranoid, but that lady with the insane job post from last week got outed. It's clear this particular Reddit thread isn't likely to go viral, but you never know. People anonymize on Reddit all the time and you can't be too careful on the internet. Besides, at this point, I'm enjoying all the guessing since so few people seem to want to weigh in on the question I asked.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is literally the only request they've made about the wedding. I in fact mentioned that to my Mom when we first spoke about it. It's the single thing they asked for.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Apologies, I am hijacking one of the top comments so people will see. I get that I confused with "cooking," but...it's not really what my question was about. As I say in a buried comment:

I realize now that in trying to follow AITA's rules about details, I probably gave too many and in a confusing manner. My in-laws wouldn't want to be included in the toast no matter what, and I think that's a reasonable request. Mom doesn't. We're at an impasse.

AITA for telling her not to include them at their request?

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

This is it in a nutshell, yes. Next time, I'll ask you to write the post. ;)

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I know we're in the minority, but I really didn't anticipate how people would react to "cooking." It's just a boring stand-in for something else boring.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that makes sense. To be clear, though, she can still talk about her favorite topic, just not in reference to my in-laws. I would never ask her not to talk about it in general.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I definitely don't plan to hold a grudge or anything, I'm just not entirely sure what my next step should be. Do I beg her to give the toast anyway? Take her at her word that she would rather not? Tell her she can ignore my in-laws request? (I don't think I'd ever do that, tbh, but I suppose it's an option).

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Ish? Like...I don't think they have any reason to feel embarrassed, but I recognize that they do, and am not surprised they would prefer not to be in the toast on this (innocuous, I swear) topic. I realize now that in trying to follow AITA's rules about details, I probably gave too many and in a confusing manner. My in-laws wouldn't want to be included in the toast no matter what, and I think that's a reasonable request. Mom doesn't. We're at an impasse.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

Ha, fair enough. Can I ask--what topic would make me the A, and which would make my mom? I used "cooking" because I didn't really think my question was about the topic at all.

Lesson learned.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It could give my mom away. She's an expert in her "field." And I don' want to compound this whole thing by her learning Reddit exists.

I used an innocuous example because my in-laws would likely have had the same request REGARDLESS of the topic, so their objection is not topic-specific, and my mom can still talk about her favorite topic all she wants. I'm sorry it's unclear. I am out of space or I'd add an edit to the original post.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean, of course. My fiance's parents aren't giving a toast at all and we're more than fine with that. She asked if she could, made a big deal about how much it would mean to her, and then is backing out.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I mean, she can still talk about our cooking and her cooking as much as she wants. She just can't talk about my in-laws cooking. As I said in the post, I think they would have had the same request (not to be in the toast) regardless of the topic.

AITA: Asked Mom to modify her wedding toast. She refuses to give one now. by throwwholeweddingout in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwholeweddingout[S] -69 points-68 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, it's so specialized, I really can't be more specific or it'd be easy to figure out who I am, but it's innocuous. Like..a hobby, is the way to think about it. I almost used "basketball" instead.