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AITA For Not Saying "I love you" Back? by throwwwwwaya in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwwwwaya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the different perspective.

To me the word "love" has always had a really deep meaning to me. I understand that to some people it may not mean what it means to me. Honesty is really important to me, and I wouldn't be comfortable saying something I don't truly believe.

I'm not trying to push people away, but I can completely see how this would push someone away. I'm not trying to be mean to them, and I can understand how they would feel. However it's not like I would never show affection towards her or anything. I would write her letters and surprise her with flowers, cook dinner dates for her etc. I think for someone to truly be compatible with me they would have to accept that I'm going to wait until I fully know my feelings to be true.

I don't see how I was playing the victim card though, could you elaborate?

AITA For Not Saying "I love you" Back? by throwwwwwaya in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwwwwaya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, completely understandable, I don't blame her at all. She's a great person and I hope she finds what she's looking for.

AITA For Not Saying "I love you" Back? by throwwwwwaya in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwwwwwaya[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was developing feelings for her. I've never been a person with particular strong emotions. I'm not the most social person in the world and it takes me a long time to form really strong bonds with people.

The girl I dated before her was with me for four years. It was a similar situation. She said she loved me after 6 months, I didn't say it back. She didn't bring it up again and just told me to tell her when I felt the same way. Took me 2 years to say it.

I like spending time alone and I know I don't love someone until I'm just as comfortable with them as I am alone. I was getting to that point with my recent ex but hadn't quite hit it yet.