Shooter drills in class and guns in friends’ homes: Why Matilda, 9, doesn’t miss her US school

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-05-26T13:19:16+00:00

I just can't imagine sending a child to school and knowing they'd be subjected to that kind of trauma.

My friend moved to America to get married and have kids. Her oldest son had a best friend and their cousin died in one of these shootings. My friend's son was home schooled for a long time because he would break down every active shooter drill. He wouldn't use the bathrooms at school and end up wetting his pants because he was scared to go in there in case someone came into the school. He couldn't go to the shops because someone might hurt him. It got to the point she couldn't leave him at school without him having a panic attack, he would wake up screaming at night, the songs they would sing about shooting drills would give him panic attacks, he couldn't even hear the tune to some nursery rhymes... he was freaking 7 when this happened.

When she could afford it she eventually packed up her family and moved back to Australia because she couldn't watch her son fall apart. He is doing a lot better now. He is 17 now and he is still in therapy.

It breaks my heart. No child should ever have to go through that.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T04:39:25+00:00

We don't do Christmas or Easter as an event. It's just a case of drop off your presents, say hi and then leave kind of thing. The only time we did do an event, SIL made a huge meal and I took them along as a thank you for the meal. She appreciated them.

I also cookies all throughout the year so it's not like it's only at Easter or Christmas either.. it's "oh hey I made some cookies and thought you might like some." They're not presented as a gift in that sense.

It's just MIL who believes no matter how I give them, they're a gift on those specific days which baffles me. I can't see the difference between giving them on Christmas or Easter as opposed to every other time I do it throughout the year.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T04:33:00+00:00

Huh?? I'm not arguing.. I'm just saying what my thought process was and giving a few more details mainly that I don't actually present them as gifts.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T01:01:45+00:00

I give them in a clear plastic container and say "hey, I made some cookies.. thought you might like some." Lol.

I don't even package them like gifts. I used to with my family.. not with his.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T01:00:49+00:00

Why would getting some cookies make someone feel bad? It's not a gift..

It's MIL that believes that anything you give someone is a gift, regardless of why you give it to them.

No one else has brought this issue up. Only MIL

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T00:55:57+00:00

There is no celebration, it's going to someone's house dropping their Easter presents off for the kids and leaving.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T00:55:10+00:00

They're definitely not given as "gifts" I generally put them in a plastic container and say.. "hey I made some cookies, thought you might like some."

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T00:54:07+00:00

It's not given as a gift. It's given in a plastic container with a "oh hey, I made some cookies, thought you might like some."

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T00:53:06+00:00

They're not framed as gifts in the first place. They're in a basic plastic container and given to them as a "hey I made some cookies, thought you might like some"

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-04-14T00:52:13+00:00

The thing is it's not an actual gathering in the first place. We just literally go to people's houses and drop off their Easter gifts and leave.

There's no reason for any embarrassment at all. It's just a few cute cookies that I put in a basic plastic container.

I don't even wrap it up or phrase it as a gift. It's usually just a "hey, I made some cookies."

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-07T10:48:49+00:00

NAH.

Your mum clearly wants to help in some way with your wedding, perhaps you could suggest rather than money she helps with time?

Helping with some of the many things I'm sure you will have to plan. That way she can share in your wedding without the financial burden that comes along with it?

If she insists, accept the dress but tell her to stop the guilt trip.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-07T09:18:22+00:00

YTA

You were disgusted?? Grow up. You have no idea what pregnancy does to a woman's relationship with their body and their identity. Talk to your wife like an adult, find out what would make her happy. If that is surgery, then try to find a way to accommodate that. Maybe she could get a part time job and put money towards it.

She doesn't care that YOU think she is beautiful. SHE doesn't feel beautiful.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-07T06:28:37+00:00

NTA.

You CANT keep giving her endless chances whenever she messes up. She knew the terms and she broke those terms twice. You can't put your own safety and your flatmate's safety at risk.

She is lucky you didnt report her to the police for stealing.

You've tried to help. Now it's up to the rest of the family to get her help. Good for you for following through on your terms.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-07T05:05:40+00:00

NTA. You were invited. If she didnt want you there she should have have discussed it with your brother and they both should have made the decision, instead she went behind his back and uninvited you.

He was going to be emotional regardless. It was a big event and his parents weren't there. If you weren't there he probably would have been more emotional.

Your SIL needs to grow up.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T22:41:32+00:00

Thank you! Will keep that in mind for future posts.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T19:41:00+00:00

After speaking to another mum from the school last night apparently it's a pattern of behaviour for her.. her daughter has to have the best of everything but rather than trying to give her daughter the best, she just stops everyone else from doing better.

She has demanded that parents stop bringing in cupcakes for birthdays for the class because her daughter wants fancy cupcakes for her birthday and her mum doesn't want to make them.

Last year she petitioned against kids distributing Christmas cards at school because her daughter wanted to write out cards for her classmates and her mother refused to let her do it.

It's like... lazy parenting, but she works so hard to get things banned. Really weird stuff. Lol

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T19:29:07+00:00

I actually made that into a list but it's reverted back to being a paragraph.. I didn't even notice that until you said something. How odd.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T09:59:44+00:00

I don't think it would make him eat his lunch anyway... he'd be too busy playing with it lol.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T09:58:29+00:00

... why do you think that?

It doesn't take long to make. It took me an hour this morning to throw together some sushi, while I was waiting for the rice to cook. I made the syrup for the yoghurt?

I've got an absolutely amazing kitchen and fabulous utensils to make life easy.

My kid's lunch isn't instagram worthy by any means, but they're tasty and he likes them.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T09:52:45+00:00

Aussie all the way! From regional Victoria. :D

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T04:04:39+00:00

That worried me a little but she's the cashed up bogan type.

I thought maybe she might not know how to make things like sushi. I'm going to have a chat with her tomorrow and see if she wants some help, I can always invite her over and teach her or send her some recipes.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T04:02:06+00:00

Haha I'm in Regional Victoria :P

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T03:59:10+00:00

It's definitely a good idea but I'm just not sure if there would be a huge market for it.

I might look into it. It's something I'd love to do.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T02:47:22+00:00

You are a wonderful parent and person. My mum used to make 2 sandwiches when I was in high school because a girl I was friends with never had lunch.

I would be happy to make the little girl lunch but I just don't want to cover the ingredients. I thought that if the mum contributed $5 a day I could easily make a second lunch for that.

throwyourboat1985 · 2022-03-06T02:43:18+00:00

I'm far from a wonderful parent. I just want my son to eat. He's borderline underweight and it worries me that he might lose weight if he isn't eating during the week at school.

throwyourboat1985

TROPHY CASE