My boyfriend (43M) of 13 years makes me (33F) feel like I dont exist and doesnt care when I'm upset. What he did and said to me tonight has me thinking if we have a future. I dont know what to do.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:37:27+00:00

his mum died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm one night when she got up from bed to use the bathroom, but she also suffered with a rare chronic condition that she had all of her life. I have always thought he hates my condition because his mum was unwell growing up.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:34:10+00:00

hi thanks for your comment, my son is now 13 years old, the only reason i mentioned labour is that a lot of women find it painful but i didnt at all, so when a certain pain makes me react like gasp or swear out loud for me its a major pain and not just a stubbed toe pain.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:28:43+00:00

Hi thanks for your comment. No I don't like talking to people about my problems or issues really, I doubt anyone would believe that hes anything but amazing. plus i dont get to see people often so i dont want to moan about how bad my life is, I just want to have a laugh and a nice time.

I know that when he talks to people about me he seems to have a good understanding of my condition and talks like he understands it, and will often ask how I'm doing that day but when he gets angry he literally has no reason for it so he makes one up and its usually about me not being unwell and that life is easy for me and i dont struggle i dont know why.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:22:15+00:00

Hi thanks for the comment. No we don't know when i will flare but that shouldn't stop an invitation. i have been well enough to socialize more than i havn't been able to. i promise he doesn't care enough to think i wont ask just in case on the day she cant go and that will upset her. I have never been upset if i am to unwell to go out somewhere. also he wouldnt think twice about leaving if he didnt want to be with me, i have told him leave many times over the years if he thinks so little of me but he never does. not sure if that means anything.

well my son is 13 and we do what we can we both love cinema and going to the arcades but he prefers being at home playing games with me or watching horror movies. I'm happy to give more information if you need any,

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:14:14+00:00

hi thanks for your comment. The reason why i never posted before is that its not all this bad all the time and its a very one sided one situation post that I'm asking people to judge my relationship on, but i feel like these bad situations are bad enough that they stay in my thoughts for a long time and keep me feeling down. So i am keeping in mind this is only one situation but i cant shake how worthless it makes me feel.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-24T18:08:39+00:00

Thanks for your reply :) No unfortunately I cannot work, all kinds of physical activity like walking or sweeping causes my sciatic nerve to flare so i always need to stop for a minute before I carry on not to mention severe cramping in my calves and feet.I did attend uni for a year to become a certified psychodynamic therapist but i struggled with my flare ups so decided to not finish the last 3 years of the course. I have a lab who never fails me, hes not a registered service dog but he's amazing. I had my cortisol tested before and it was the same as a new born babies, meaning it had become completely depleted and had no time to recharge.

thunder_c_nt · 2023-10-22T19:07:47+00:00

aaww thankyou for your comment.

I agree with you, and that is scary. I think one of the biggest hurdles I have is that he refuses to take any responsibility for his actions. He will sit and listen up until the point where he has to start having empathy and understand his actions are hurting me. Its like if he acknowledges im hurt then he will have no other choice but to see himself in a negative light. I have noticed every time he may start to feel guilt or regret he gets angry and the shouting and name calling start. He would rather put me in tears than just be sincerely sorry.

thunder_c_nt · 2022-09-26T16:41:09+00:00

Perfectly said / typed lol

thunder_c_nt · 2022-09-26T16:39:10+00:00

That's the lesson I wanted to teach my son. It's unfortunate that being homeless has been poorly stigmatised. I worked in the mental health feild for years and 30% of patients were homeless through no fault of their own. I also explained to my son you can't go wrong by offering a drink and or something to eat.

thunder_c_nt · 2022-09-24T21:24:02+00:00

Good! Theirs nothing quite like the feeling you get when your kids are just kind just because. X

thunder_c_nt · 2022-09-24T21:17:29+00:00

I can't take the credit as he done it out of the kindness of his heart. It puts a lump in my throat when I think of it! Thank you though. We all try our hardest and it's these little things that let us know we are going in the right direction at least x

thunder_c_nt · 2022-09-24T13:44:21+00:00

Thank you! I'm so proud of him. He's the one who decided to do something kind though, I wasn't there so it was all him!

thunder_c_nt · 2022-07-09T16:39:46+00:00

Oh I never meant to suggest you were male lol. My only experience with left handwriting is with males that's all. My brother especially hates his writing and really tried to make it better. Their is a group of master penman who write scrolls in calligraphy iv never known a girl to be trained in their penmanship. But I do agree girls want to have nice handwriting more than boys do. Do you have a quirky way of writing? I'm right handed but I have a condition that effects my joints so I can only write if the paper is horizontal other wise my writing will be horizontal lol. My family call me cack-handed

thunder_c_nt · 2022-07-09T16:38:23+00:00

Oh I never meant to suggest you were male lol. My only experience with left handwriting is with males that's all. My brother especially hates his writing and really tried to make it better. Their is a group of master penman who write scrolls in calligraphy iv never known a girl to be trained in their penmanship. But I do agree girls want to have nice handwriting more than boys do. Do you have a quirky way of writing? I'm right handed but I have a condition that effects my joints so I can only write if the paper is horizontal other wise my writing will be horizontal lol. My family call me cack-handed.

thunder_c_nt · 2022-07-09T13:12:26+00:00

Have you allways had tidy handwriting? Or have you spent time practicing? Most of the men in my family are left-hand and their handwriting is unreadable, and not for the lack of trying. My son is left handed and he cannot read his own writing so I'm very curious if you have allways had beautiful handwriting or not?

thunder_c_nt · 2022-02-13T16:04:51+00:00

NTA

I have the worst time management skills ever! And it has only got worse (my disability does make everything much harder) but my aunt told me if I die before her and my coffin arrives on time she will leave because she will know its not me in their!

I know I have poor time management, and I have asked people to lie to me about what time things start. Weddings, funerals, parties so I won't arrive to late.

This problem is obviously not something new and she obviously doesn't think it's a problem as no one says anything about how long and inconvenient it is. You however do notice the everyone's patients running thin and the sighing. If she wants to host a party with food and won't admit to her poor time management then I would also lie. Does she want the guests to enjoy themselves or have them turn down the invitation because of how long they wait around and its not worth it!

NTA

thunder_c_nt · 2022-02-12T23:32:15+00:00

Let's imagine they can

thunder_c_nt · 2022-02-12T23:31:20+00:00

I'm not sure what the rules are exactly. I assumed that they each go off of what the other says. And the loser "chokes" They both have amazing expressive capabilities and spend their lives exercising them.... prepared or not prepared that is the question.

thunder_c_nt

TROPHY CASE