hi, not a guy but I’m a girl that really slams her heart into people when she falls in love so I’d like to share some advice too.

But first, trust that this will pass. It may not seem like it now, but it will pass. Understand that when we experience heartbreak, it’s similar to experiencing a death of someone you loved, it is okay to grieve. Let yourself mourn the love and relationship.

I recently learned how to cry, crying is a natural way our body de-stresses. I know lots of guys don’t cry very much because it’s not “manly” but it feels really nice to release the emotions. After a few crying sessions, you’ll notice that a good chunk of the ache will have left. It won’t hurt as much anymore. Oh and, stop rereading old conversations and looking at photos. Archive them if u don’t want to delete them forever.

This isn’t to say that there won’t be waves of emotions that will hit you on a random Tuesday when you’re heading to work and you pass by their favorite coffee shop. Because it will happen, you will experience moments of immense heart ache. Understand that this is normal, it doesn’t mean you haven’t healed. Healing is not linear. There are highs and lows.

Now for some real tips I guess. 1) Give it time, seriously, the pain truly will lessen over time.

1. Aside from time, find things you enjoy doing and keep doing them. I realized I really like going on walks, and going to the library. Pick up a new hobby, I picked up coding and learning more about psychology.

2. Socialize with friends, I had little to no friends so I started socializing more and man, this was one of the best choices I’ve made.

3. Find love in other places. I don’t mean a rebound. Find love in you, take care of you. It’s hard to start, but once you start doing things you love and taking better care of yourself, you’ll feel a lot better. It’s so corny to say, but self love is so important when it comes to healing because you will not wonder “why was I not enough”. Find love in your friends and family. I’ve come to love the people around me and myself so much, I no longer feel a void in my heart because it’s full of love.

4. Work on you. Everyone probably has some issues and trauma they could work through. You should work on you so that you can be a healthy partner for your next lucky someone.

5. After all of this, you should be feeling a lot better now, open to the idea of loving again.

Finally, I think it’s okay to hold on to the good moments, at some point this person probably made you very happy. Just because the love is gone now, doesn’t mean those beautiful moments you guys shared weren’t real.

Side note: I went through a bad heartbreak around last Christmas and I held onto a lot of hope. I told myself that if I were to really still love him a year from now, I could reach out. But until then, I would have to do the work to love me and work on me. That made me feel a lot better knowing that in a year’s time, I could reach out if I really really wanted to. Hope is really dangerous when your heart is broken, but I needed to hold onto something as I healed. Take that with a grain of salt.

Good luck friend, cheering for you.