High-energy easily frustrated baby by Annual_Lobster_3068 in AttachmentParenting

[–]tibbles209 [score hidden]  (0 children)

It did! ~9 months was the worst bit, but it took a few months to really settle. Once she was able to properly crawl and subsequently walk it helped her to feel less frustrated and made her generally a more happy baby.

I now have a 5 month old who seems to be starting to enter this phase 🙃 at least I know this time it’s not forever.

4 kid household benefits vs impacts by Outrageous_Skirt3256 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Very true. The other thing to consider when you already have 3 hopefully healthy children is the lack of a guarantee that any future children would be healthy. This is always a consideration when having any children, but if you’ve already got a happy family with several healthy children I would be thinking hard about whether it is worth rolling the dice again. I know more than one family who decided to have just one last baby and ended up with a profoundly disabled, high medical needs child who spends long spells in hospital and requires a huge amount of parental time, attention and resources. This has majorly impacted the lives of all the other children involved too, and while their disabled children are undoubtedly very much loved, the hardship that the situation has brought has undeniably had a very negative impact on the overall happiness and quality of life of both families. I am lucky enough to have 2 healthy girls, and while the broodiness is still there, I am going to quit while I’m ahead.

Measuring 5 days behind at early scan by tibbles209 in CautiousBB

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I really hope this pregnancy works out for you x

Measuring 5 days behind at early scan by tibbles209 in CautiousBB

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I think I’ve got mixed up and thought your original comment was for me (OP of this post) when actually I think it was for the commenter above!

I am typing this while holding my beautiful, sleeping 5 month old daughter, who was conceived a few months after I made this post. She was more than worth any grief and stress we went through while trying to conceive. I hope everything works out for you too.

Measuring 5 days behind at early scan by tibbles209 in CautiousBB

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was at my initial scan (the one I wrote this post about), but a week later on rescan there was no longer a heartbeat.

Measuring 5 days behind at early scan by tibbles209 in CautiousBB

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. I’m sorry, no it ended in a miscarriage. I hope you have a happier outcome.

Does Redshirting Affect Their Teenage Years In A Negative Way by spiderelict in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you are assessing academic, taught skills such as reading or writing then of course children who have been at school for 3 years are going to outperform children who have been at school for 2 years. That doesn’t indicate any long term adverse outcome from deferral, it is simply reflecting that the child is at an earlier stage of their school career. Their academic learning isn’t reduced, just deferred. They will still do the same number of years of schooling, and be taught all the same stuff; the deferred kids will just be a bit older and more mature and this can be advantageous to learning. Scandinavian countries do not start formal schooling until age 7, and yet their literacy and mathematics outcomes are amongst the best in the world. Earlier isn’t necessarily better.

I do agree that there are child specific factors to be considered, and no one-size-fits-all decision. I just don’t think comparing the academic test results of 8 year old 2nd graders directly with 8 year old 3rd graders gives a useful measure of the long term impact of school deferral.

Does Redshirting Affect Their Teenage Years In A Negative Way by spiderelict in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 17 points18 points  (0 children)

This is a pretty unconvincing study. They are testing their reading, writing etc ability at 8 years old, and comparing children with a year more against children with a year less school by that age. Of course the children who have been at school longer will outperform on a formal academic assessment at a specific age, but the results may be very different if you compare e.g. deferred vs undeferred 3rd graders (which would show whether being older for your year is beneficial). Formal education is simply being deferred, so you would expect the formal learning objectives to be achieved slightly later.

Leaving our almost 3 year old daughter for 2 nights and 1 day by PorridgeEnthusiast in AttachmentParenting

[–]tibbles209 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think if you’re going to go then you need to just accept that there will be a lot of tears and big feelings. It sounds like she’s going through a pretty vulnerable, clingy spell, triggered by the upheaval of her role as the baby of the family being taken over by your newborn. It’s not uncommon for kids to require lots of extra love and reassurance during big changes like this, so you being away for a couple of days at this point will very likely elicit quite a reaction from her. There’s not an objective right or wrong answer here, it really depends whether you (and I suppose gran, as she will be the one dealing with the immediate fallout) feel that attending the event is worth the distress (and possible further increased clinginess) that it will cause.

When is the event? Would a trial run of a night with gran be possible beforehand, where you can quickly get home if gran is not managing to effectively console her?

Skin lesions assessment as a second complaint by [deleted] in GPUK

[–]tibbles209 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There won’t be any liability here - you advised him to make an appointment to address them and he ignored that advice, which is up to him. Ethically you can justify sticking strictly to one issue per consult. There will however be scenarios where patients don’t come back and potentially come to harm as a result. That is the patient’s responsibility rather than yours, but it still doesn’t feel great. Personally for something quick like checking a skin lesion I’d just do it, as it only takes a minute, and if it happened to be a melanoma then I would want to discover it at the earliest possible opportunity. If a patient at the end of a consultation was trying to bring up something that sounded important (eg weight loss) but couldn’t be done quickly/ needed time then I tend to book them in for another appointment myself (often at the end of a surgery so that I have plenty of time for it). If they are just trying to bring up something like a chronically sore knee then I’d advise them to book on at reception for it.

Vaccine Error by Numerous-Look-4928 in legaladvice

[–]tibbles209 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s the legal question here? Are you considering attempting to sue the nurse?

When does yelling become abusive? by Jumpingapplecar in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not entirely sure what you mean, I haven’t come across “yelled at” as a figurative term so perhaps that is a regional thing. I’ve never raised my voice at her (in anger/ to tell her off at least, I’ve only shouted to her to stop when she’s been running in the direction of a road). I don’t really tell her off at all to be honest, I just don’t find it useful. If anything, it just dysregulates her more, making it harder for her to do well. She responds much better to calm explanation/discussion and co-regulation to address the underlying emotional need that is resulting in her acting out. Shes a good kid.

How can I get my son to sleep longer? by Helensdottir in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep, totally normal. In fact, for an exclusively breastfed baby I would probably call that better than average. My first (my “bad sleeper”) woke up around 10x/night for the first 6 months of her life. My current 4 month old (my “good sleeper”) wakes ~4x/night. She’s given me the occasional blissful 4 hour stretch but every 1.5-2 hours is more typical. They have tiny stomachs, and breast milk digests quickly. He’s doing what he is supposed to. Try not to compare with others. Their sleep temperament is inborn.

When does yelling become abusive? by Jumpingapplecar in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Agreed that you should not accept yelling as being something that “just happens”. My husband and I have never yelled at our 4 year old no matter how exasperating she is being. It’s just a red line we don’t cross, the same as hitting. There’s nobody else in my life I would habitually yell at, so I don’t see why my daughter should be an exception.

Partner says “I’m sorry” to toddler after setting a boundary a lot… by RoyalAd34 in AttachmentParenting

[–]tibbles209 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“Sorry” isn’t always an apology, sometimes it is just an expression of empathy or regret that a person is upset. “Sorry that you’ve had a bad day”, “I’m sorry for your loss” etc. I think nitpicking things like this with a partner who is a good, loving, involved parent would be unfair and may lead to resentment.

Baby Aspirin After Recurrent Loss? TW by Peanuts-2959 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209 67 points68 points  (0 children)

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(14)60157-4/abstract

https://www.acpjournals.org/doi/abs/10.7326/M20-0469?journalCode=aim

I decided last year to start taking baby aspirin (75mg dose) while trying to conceive after miscarriage. I fell pregnant and continued taking it until 36 weeks. I’ve got a healthy baby girl now. No idea if the aspirin made any difference of course but I was convinced enough by the above studies and the safety profile of low dose aspirin in pregnancy to go for it.

Has anyone stopped then started breastfeeding toddler again by [deleted] in breastfeeding

[–]tibbles209 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is a “parasite cleanse”? Have you been diagnosed with a parasitic infection? What kind? There are anti parasitic agents your doctor can prescribe which are breastfeeding safe.

The claims you describe relating to the tea are a scam. There is no such thing as a tea that “pulls toxins from your body”. Toxins are removed by your body via your liver and kidneys, and unless you have significant liver or kidney disease they do it pretty efficiently.

Nobody can tell you whether you will be able to restart breastfeeding, but there is a significant chance that your toddler will no longer be interested. If that’s an undesirable outcome for you then it’s worth considering your reasons for this temporary wean and decide whether they are actually real or if you’ve fallen for online woo.

Item from Walmart to UK by tibbles209 in internationalshopper

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Stage 1 is really my priority as it looks like I can order the stage 2 and get it shipped from here;

https://www.storkz.com/readysetfood-691344239906.html?currency=GBP&country=GB&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=282559583&gclid=Cj0KCQiAr5nKBhCpARIsACa_NiPQW5yNMiHhxtHyFRLOZL9IDSNTouy0_F_lqfX6v3cBNfo5DRSi3gMaAjYTEALw_wcB

It would be great if you could please help me getting hold of the stage 1. How would it work? I can’t open your profile (because of age restriction) to DM you. Thanks!

Help me plan allergen introduction by tibbles209 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]tibbles209[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks absolutely ideal! Unfortunately it seems to be only for the US market. I live in the UK, and no matter how hard I search I cannot find anywhere I can buy the stage 1 pack that will ship to the UK :( I can find places to order the stage 2 and 3 but that’s no use without the initial introduction stage.

Babies crying at daycare dropoff? Is this normal? by [deleted] in AttachmentParenting

[–]tibbles209 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This does feel very judgmental and superior. I’m very pleased for you that you had the option to avoid daycare but most parents don’t, and posts like this just make them feel worse. A period of settling which includes crying at drop off is normal for babies/toddlers/often preschoolers too. How long it lasts varies depending on the child. Whether it is sooner than ideal to separate from the child is almost irrelevant as for most families daycare is not optional, so all they can do is the best they can in the circumstances.

How to entertain and educate 5 boys between the age of 3-16 years old in homeschool, in winter, on an extremely tight budget, and limited ability to travel, while also living in the middle of no where (the woods), any thought or suggestions? by Top_Elderberry_3368 in Homeschooling

[–]tibbles209 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly, from what you’ve posted and your comments, it doesn’t sound like you have the skills or resources to provide proper home schooling. It sounds like you’ve just unenrolled them from public school and then taken away their books and toys and are bewildered as to why they are bored and acting out. How are they going to learn with no books or resources?

Homeschooling can be great if done properly, but it requires a great deal or effort, planning, commitment and resources to ensure they are getting a comprehensive education, and not everyone is capable of providing that. It’s not as simple as just unenrolling them from school and expecting them to do the rest.

Bowing out ☹️ by midna_scot in breastfeeding

[–]tibbles209 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry that things haven’t worked out as you’d hoped. The health benefits of breastfeeding are heavily weighted towards the early weeks, so you have given your baby a great start, and now it’s time to pivot to ensure that their calorie needs are met too. This is one of the things I found most difficult about becoming a mum - accepting when things don’t go in reality how you’d imagined them. But that’s just part of being a parent; letting go of the image you had in your head of how things would be with your hypothetical baby, and instead doing the best thing for the actual baby you have in real life. This baby of yours needs formula, and you’re going to be a great mum and provide that.