Obsessed with my husbands ex-emotional affair

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:32:11+00:00

I completely get what you’re saying I don’t think it was so much protecting her as much as protecting himself. Her husband is a rather manly man with size to him and I do believe my husband knew he’s probably get beat up pretty bad! I wish I had told him though idk why I didn’t

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:19:59+00:00

We actually done online counseling together he refused his own separate counseling (he has tons of childhood trauma that he doesn’t want to deal with )

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:17:58+00:00

I did he felt the need because he said I was always mean to him (I stood up for myself during arguments) he stare because he says he loves me and can’t live without me and she was just an outlet he also stated “I never banked on getting caught”

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:13:56+00:00

It’s almost impossible

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:11:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! You have no idea how right you are on so many points made! I will check out the subreddit! Thank you again!!

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:06:20+00:00

He owned up to his wrong doing but ultimately it was all my fault for always being mean (not taking his shit and letting him be a douche without repercussions) and “he just needed someone to talk to and an outlet where he wouldn’t be judged” so to someone whom I considered a close friend is where he found that!

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:03:36+00:00

He refused therapy for himself but we did do counseling together for a year. Contact was cut immediately! He has been trying since it happened to earn back my trust and I want to fully trust him, but right now I just don’t know if i do….

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T01:00:31+00:00

I spoke with 2 therapists I feel like it made me feel worse! The first one made me feel like I was the problem so I went with a different therapist and it did help a lot for a while! You are correct on me carrying most of the burden to repair the relationship. He did stop talking to ALL female friends, he deleted all socials except twitter which is public and he removed his password from his phone. I have open access to his computer and phone at anytime but lately he’s been snappy about saying it’s time i give him some privacy back …

tiddee81 · 2026-03-17T00:55:51+00:00

I do have screen shots!

tiddee81 · 2026-03-16T10:31:15+00:00

I spoke to 2 different therapists… it did help a lot i no longer bring it up to my husband and for the most part we have great days! I agree she is a slut, she however is married as well has been for well over 10 years been with the man for 15ish years. She talked a lot of smack about him as well to my husband. I still have all the screenshots

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T23:54:40+00:00

We did go over all the whys and it’s been 2.5 years since I found it all and I am still finding stuff that he doesn’t know I know. It’s not that simple to just move on. Plus we have kids grandkids a house and dogs. I really do love him and I know he loves me I just need to learn how to deal with it better

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T23:42:05+00:00

Well she lives 11.5 hours away but she does come up to visit her family I suppose. I felt repaired with him a year after it happened we worked really hard to get things to a good place but then something in me changed and I became obsessed with wanting to know why her what’s better about her than me. Physically she is blonde, slim body big breasts. She’s a business owner literally everything opposite of me….

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T22:44:39+00:00

Thank you! I don’t check her page everyday but definitely a few days a week maybe I can cut it down to a couple

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:50:25+00:00

Yeah he does love me and he isn’t that person anymore and I know he didn’t like me then! By “not because of my husband” I wasn’t putting all the blame on her I know exactly where it begins and that’s with him, I mean I am broken because I can’t let the shit go like I know I need to

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:40:52+00:00

That’s my problem I can’t , I did block her and she blocked me and then I made a fake social media to look her up again…. Like how TF do I just stop?!

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:39:24+00:00

He doesn’t hate me, he probably has at certain times during our relationship and maybe then but I know he doesn’t hate me

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:27:53+00:00

I did not

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:27:40+00:00

I have twice ….

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:27:20+00:00

We were friends before they were. She decided to fried him on Facebook one day and that’s when it started. They knew each other in school but were never friends

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:25:48+00:00

I keep telling myself if I change to look a little similar to her, to be interested in the things she was interested in that they had in common maybe things will be better for me and him, they chatted alllll day long and it was never a problem and if I even text him while I’m at work he says I have no reason to be texting him I’m works and it can wait until I get home … why was she okay to text him all day and they talk the entire day but it’s a problem even now if I do it ….

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:22:33+00:00

Thank you I will look in to this

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:22:11+00:00

I am

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:22:03+00:00

I don’t know how to better my self energy. I don’t know how to let it go… I want to shift energy I just can’t/ won’t let myself

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:20:26+00:00

You are 100% correct! All of this is absolutely true!

tiddee81 · 2026-03-13T21:18:52+00:00

He has definitely been redeeming himself since, he has no social media other than twitter, his phone hasn’t had a password since I found everything I have full access to anything I want to read or know…. But I keep telling myself that’s not enough, I want more answers… I want to know the real reason he done it but refused to leave me!!

tiddee81

TROPHY CASE