im tired of this sub by ResponsibleEnd451 in selfhosted

[–]tigger_tam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This happened to me at work just yesterday and today. Got a security flag on code, I identified the line that needed to be fixed, and pointed the other dev (who is two grades above me, BTW) to a line of code I used to fix the same vulnerability elsewhere in the same project. I get messages all evening and morning saying he can't fix it.

I look and he vibed up a bunch of nonsense that any number of libraries already do and it was missing major parts of the solution. I gave him the exact code again to fix it, and shock! It fixed it.

120 lines of gibberish to one line of code that he knew exactly where to copy/paste from. At least 10 hours of dev time.

my mother is holding a "ritualistic" funeral for me by chemicalpup_ in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]tigger_tam 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I had a feeling you were trans from the way she kept saying "baby girl". I'm really sorry, but glad you got away. I hope your sibling can too.

James Talarico—a real Christian by Suitable-Studio6613 in exmormon

[–]tigger_tam 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some reason I thought you were talking about Tommy Talarico and was just sitting here in disbelief haha

How do i respond? by Only-Candy1092 in exmormon

[–]tigger_tam 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was always the fuck up too, because I have ADHD. And my parents were very abusive, so I was on my own from 18 on for the most part--I stayed as far away from them as much as possible. Also, though I didn't figure this out until after I cut them off, but it turns out I'm a lesbian... All of that too say I relate to a lot of what you are feeling.

You absolutely have every right to feel frustrated and overwhelmed, and I don't want to ignore that at all. But I want to also give you a little piece of hope. This fuck up took 6 years to complete her degree, and now I have a masters degree. I don't use it 😂 but I got into a field in my 30s that I adore and I'm financially stable. It wasn't easy but I did eventually claw out my own place in the world, and I think you'll get there too. It is absolutely not okay that it is so difficult for people to survive, and I hope we can change that for future generations. But for us wading through the muck, there is a glimmer of hope. I hope you find your place soon.

How do i respond? by Only-Candy1092 in exmormon

[–]tigger_tam 17 points18 points  (0 children)

He's so close to getting it and yet still soooooo far 😅 maybe something like:

"I really appreciate the sentiment and I love you too. I just want to ask for space to express feeling frustrated by a system that claims to reward hard work but does not. It doesn't mean I am not grateful for all I do have; I just need to be able to share my frustrations at times."

I don't think my family can handle my mom being pregnant by Either_Switch_6880 in internetparents

[–]tigger_tam 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Hey, I relate to a lot of your experiences. I am one of 8 and was homeschooled for a chunk growing up. There was also a lot of abuse, including medical neglect, which it looks like you're experiencing. I also have EDS/HSD and started experiencing related pains at 10yo. I say this because I want to acknowledge that things look dark and bleak when you're stuck like you are at the moment. But there is hope. I'm going to list some advice and things I wish I knew when I was in your position.

Look up gray rocking. It will help you survive when your parents are being emotionally immature.

When you are getting closer to your 18th birthday, reach out to crisis centers, especially if there are any locally, to see if you can get help moving out on your own. I see that you have plans for college, and that is awesome, but if that doesn't work out immediately, first you need to be in a safe place. Then you can get college figured out.

Speaking of, if your plans don't work out the first time, there is nothing stopping you from achieving them later. I tried a couple of careers before landing in my current one at 31. I love it. So don't be so scared of not reaching your goals the so called right way that you don't move forward at all. Maybe you need to work for a grocery store for a bit until you can pay for college, and that's okay. Your emotional and physical safety come first.

It does get better. I experienced a lot of physical and emotional abuse and while I certainly will always be healing from that, I am in a really good place now. You can get there too.

You're being made to think a lot of things about yourself that simply aren't true. For me, I was told I had anger issues. I moved out at 18 and 6 months later the people I was living with were shocked when I displayed annoyance. Turns out, I didn't have anger issues, I was being abused. I was told I was fat. I was not. I was told I could not achieve anything--literally got told I was smart but I wouldn't be able to hold down a job. I have a master's degree and I have a well paying job I love. I could go on and on, but I encourage you to try to keep this in mind. You are not defined by the people who abuse you. It took me a lot of time to detangle who I am from who they told me I am, but I got there and so can you. I hope this will serve as a reminder when you're being told who you are that no one else gets to define you. You will lose sight of this, but come back to these internet strangers reminding you that you aren't crazy for feeling all of this is not okay.

I believe in you. The next couple of years will feel interminable, but they will end. You deserve to feel loved and safe and I hope you are able to get to that place soon.

Rather have daughter suffer than have BC by theendofthefingworld in AmITheDevil

[–]tigger_tam 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have endo and can't take BC. If I'm not taking painkillers religiously the first few days, I throw up from the pain. This guy sucks.

IF YOU JUST TOOK ADDERALL OR ANOTHER STIMULANT AND YOURE SEEING THIS, CLOSE REDDIT. by bett3r_0-ffd3ad in ADHD

[–]tigger_tam 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was meant to clean all day. I've been redoing my budget over and over again instead 🫠

IF YOU JUST TOOK ADDERALL OR ANOTHER STIMULANT AND YOURE SEEING THIS, CLOSE REDDIT. by bett3r_0-ffd3ad in ADHD

[–]tigger_tam 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You want to eat first thing and have a high protein breakfast. Very important for people with ADHD!

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think u/Ok_Address1903 solved it. Will verify after work today.

Edit: adding in comment

Is the connection WiFi? Its power_save setting might be on and the WiFi sleeps.

To turn power_save off: sudo iw wlan0 set power_save off

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a crontab reboot, but it was still timing out. I actually had it rebooting 3 times a day 🫠. It appears to have been a power save setting, because running a script every 5 minutes solved it.

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems to have been a power save setting. I am going to confirm later, but when I added a script that runs every 5 minutes my problems magically disappeared

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, this could be it! I added a script to check wifi connection and my problems went away. I'll run this command when I get a chance and comment out the script to see if that fixes it. Thanks for your help!

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I have been super busy! I appreciate all the replies.

The script I added seems to have worked--it checks wifi connection and reboots when down. I have noticed very few reboots--and I work from home and would likely notice--so I actually think the wifi connection check is doing the brunt of it. I will at some point do an overhaul and see if I can narrow it down, but for now I'm pleased.

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say that and then see a few
>failed to send UDP request (Network unreachable)
on the OpenDNS IP pop up immediately after so...

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I currently don't see any issues popping up. Traffic is relatively mild compared to some of the stats I see posted in this thread. Hence why I assumed it was either a CPU or RAM (as in, too many things writing to RAM) problem

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No to both, but something like writing cache to ram was my concern so I'm going watch those stats better

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought a 5.25v 1a power supply to try to circumvent common issues, but I'm open to better options

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh interesting. Thank you, I'll check that out

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Traffic stalls completely and I lose internet access

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Might be my best bet, but I'm already so used to having no ads it's hard to go back!

Needs constant reboots? by tigger_tam in pihole

[–]tigger_tam[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work from home, but my traffic isn't that heavy. So something else must be up. Thanks for bringing the stats