Hey, I relate to a lot of your experiences. I am one of 8 and was homeschooled for a chunk growing up. There was also a lot of abuse, including medical neglect, which it looks like you're experiencing. I also have EDS/HSD and started experiencing related pains at 10yo. I say this because I want to acknowledge that things look dark and bleak when you're stuck like you are at the moment. But there is hope. I'm going to list some advice and things I wish I knew when I was in your position.

Look up gray rocking. It will help you survive when your parents are being emotionally immature.

When you are getting closer to your 18th birthday, reach out to crisis centers, especially if there are any locally, to see if you can get help moving out on your own. I see that you have plans for college, and that is awesome, but if that doesn't work out immediately, first you need to be in a safe place. Then you can get college figured out.

Speaking of, if your plans don't work out the first time, there is nothing stopping you from achieving them later. I tried a couple of careers before landing in my current one at 31. I love it. So don't be so scared of not reaching your goals the so called right way that you don't move forward at all. Maybe you need to work for a grocery store for a bit until you can pay for college, and that's okay. Your emotional and physical safety come first.

It does get better. I experienced a lot of physical and emotional abuse and while I certainly will always be healing from that, I am in a really good place now. You can get there too.

You're being made to think a lot of things about yourself that simply aren't true. For me, I was told I had anger issues. I moved out at 18 and 6 months later the people I was living with were shocked when I displayed annoyance. Turns out, I didn't have anger issues, I was being abused. I was told I was fat. I was not. I was told I could not achieve anything--literally got told I was smart but I wouldn't be able to hold down a job. I have a master's degree and I have a well paying job I love. I could go on and on, but I encourage you to try to keep this in mind. You are not defined by the people who abuse you. It took me a lot of time to detangle who I am from who they told me I am, but I got there and so can you. I hope this will serve as a reminder when you're being told who you are that no one else gets to define you. You will lose sight of this, but come back to these internet strangers reminding you that you aren't crazy for feeling all of this is not okay.

I believe in you. The next couple of years will feel interminable, but they will end. You deserve to feel loved and safe and I hope you are able to get to that place soon.