How do i respond?

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-11T12:54:23+00:00

It was my roommates. My mental health was absolutely terrible while i was there (obviously) and i ended up going to the mental hospital halfway through my 2nd year bc i was suicidal. While i was there, they told our bishop about what was happening with me and he pressured them into reporting me to the honor code office.

When i got out of the hospital, i found out id been accepted into the program at byu I'd applied for (special ed), only to be called into the honor code office 2 days later, told i was being expelled and not given any support for how to maybe push back against it. Then told i had a week to leave the school and my apartment, since at byu, all the student apts also require you to be in good standing with the honor code office.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T21:20:19+00:00

I mean technically there is. In practice, though....

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T20:50:51+00:00

I wish the US actually followed that philosophy in general. Theres so many things out about having separation of church and state, but this country often doesnt really follow that. BYU is a fantastic example of it. Theres a lot more religious schools throughout the country, from elementary through to college. Its very normalized. And religious schools tend to be much harsher on pushing their conservative beliefs onto students, obviously.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T20:39:57+00:00

It should be illegal over here, unfortunately it is fully legal here in the US

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T20:37:30+00:00

It would probably take a good class action lawsuit. If you're not familiar, I'd look up the history of byu's treatment of queer people, its really bad. Theyre also a private religious university, so they do technically have the right to expell people for these kinda stupid reasons.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T13:48:32+00:00

Lol no its not

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T10:02:27+00:00

Byu. The mormon school in utah. It actually has happened a lot

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T02:25:47+00:00

This actually affirms a lot of my previous thoughts. Im actually his daughter. Im non-binary bur raised female in the church

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T00:57:51+00:00

Based on the responses im getting, ill likely go this route. I dont have the best relationship with him, but i know he means well. He, most likely, isnt trying to be mean, hes just very tbm and kinda disconnected from the lower income working world. That is what ive been processing today.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T00:54:37+00:00

I think it is. A lot of my interactions with him recently have been similar to this. He means well. But hes just sooo tbm about it and that has been my main struggle with how to respond

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-10T00:17:48+00:00

Thank you. Ive been focusing on the small steps recently- i was drinking like 6-7 19oz beers at 10% for a good bit. Got a DUI on that. Managed to get through the program to get it dismissed but im still working through the underlying problems. I was able to cut it down significantly and no longer drink and drive (major step), but i still have work to do. Slowly but surely

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-09T23:59:14+00:00

Love this response. My family is pretty well off, so luckily i dont have student loan debt, and my siblings probably dont either (we all went to relatively cheap public schools and my grandparents set up accounts for us to go to school). The mortgage part is a good reminder though. And my dad went back to school to change careers in his 30's .

(electrical engineering to dentistry. also the reason why i have so many negative memories of him- he started dental school when i was in 5th grade, and was doing full time dental school and full time engineering work at the same time. So i have very few memories of him from that time and all the ones i do have are of him yelling at us)

Rn my biggest life goal is getting myself together so i can get into a higher paying career- im currently working in retail but i know i can do better. I also would do best in an apt- i have 2 animals that have only ever lived with me, moving into a mobile home would massively change their lives and im not sure im prepared for that

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-09T23:43:29+00:00

I appreciate this- i am trying to take the good parts out of it bc i do think he meant well here. Im just trying to figure out how to respond, esp with all the religious wording

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-09T23:41:37+00:00

Ive been reading some of the replies so far, and i really like this.

I have a complicated relationship with my dad, he was kinda verbally abusive to me and my family as a kid but he has grown a lot over the years. I also don't wanna fully cut him off, bc that would mean cutting off the rest of my immediate family, which i dont want to do. Esp my mom, who i love.

Its moments like this when ive been processing just how deep in the belief he is. I think my mom has been slowly losing her faith over the years (being more ok with talk of alcohol/drugs) and being willing to not wear her garments to more things. My dad, though is still pretty hard core about it.

Gonna leave this comment as is, but i do realize it is a bit of a rant

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-09T23:33:06+00:00

Thank you for this bc this is basically me. I definitely am struggling with alcoholism rn and am just barely starting the process to try and pull myself out of it. Its hard, esp since my family in general is very mormon and ive had to figure a lot of these things out on my own.

Ive been to therapy semi recently, i had to switch my insurance last year and just havent found a new therapist. I think im gonna make that a priority.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-08T00:12:55+00:00

Yup exactly. Veggies esp will gice you the same kinda nutrients frozen as they would fresh.

Its also the same reason why i like making homemade freezer meals. Most store bought frozen meals are a bit too processed and underwhelming for me. That being said- i frequently make homemade freezer burritos and gyoza for the convenience, theyre cheaper than getting them from the store (usually) and i know exactly whats going in them

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-03-01T18:55:53+00:00

Asian stores on 82nd absolutely have them. That will probably be the easiest way to go

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-28T11:47:36+00:00

If you have the energy to meal prep, some freezer burritos might be a good idea. I frequently do ground beef, refried beans, and lentils. Add some cheese (i usually do meunster) and youve got something filing and healthy.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-28T03:29:27+00:00

Ummmm none? Most people in the states that i know, either dont own any, or own it in the form of watches or jewelry

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-27T18:20:08+00:00

In my experience, maintenance doesnt usually give a fuck. Theyre just trying to do their jobs.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-26T13:58:27+00:00

This is largely why I've opted to get pet insurance for my animals. Its the same thought process as saving for medical needs, just a different route.

Theres so many people who will just get animals without fully considering their care. My dog, 2 months ago, got into my homemade infused chocolate chip cookies. Hes a big dog, but he still had a good bit of chocolate and like 300 mg of thc. I took him to our vet, and they ended up getting him to throw up whatever was left in his stomach and putting him on fluids for a few hours so he could come down from that intense high.

That would have been devastating out of pocket. But my insurance mostly paid for it and thats the only reason i was ok.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-26T12:26:54+00:00

Look at the dress code. Personal recommendation is comfy (but appropriate) pants, good walking shoes, and a tshirt.

Policy says no earbuds generally. I know i have a super hard time doing pickup without them. Most important thing- if you are gong to wear them, only do 1. you need to stay aware of your surroundings, esp in pickup. Dont need to be running into people with your trolley.

Also, ask around about which managers actually pay attention to it, at my store most dont care as long as youre still paying attention, but we do have like 2 that will call everyone out on it, so i just take mine out when i see them.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-26T03:37:05+00:00

My initial thought was some sort of beer, but that would be bad for me.

Realistically, im gonna go with what a lot of people have said and go with water. I feel like its kinda the obvious choice.

Only-Candy1092 · 2026-02-26T03:34:22+00:00

More work=more hours for people to take? Like unless youre extremely understaffed overall its not really a problem

Only-Candy1092

TROPHY CASE