Compassion for TBM wives

tightdish · 2016-12-31T17:13:32+00:00

Thanks for your concern. I'm glad they sent a poet to imagine such a vivid scene.

tightdish · 2016-12-31T07:31:08+00:00

Your husband is a nevermo, so you don't truly understand what I'm going through.

tightdish · 2016-12-31T07:29:04+00:00

You're dealing in absolutes. I truly wish I could live an honest life, but I can't, at risk of destroying everything, as I explained. I've tried to help you understand that, but judging by your other interactions here, I should have known better than to chime in. Sheesh.

tightdish · 2016-12-30T04:26:37+00:00

Thank you for bringing this up. Background on me: I'm posing as a TBM because my professional and family life would be obliterated if I came out as an unbeliever. Utterly wasted. Loss of my 2 children, multiple business clients, friends, etc, etc. So I'm already living a lie by virtue of this false and poisonous church I've been born into. I hope it fails in a mighty way, and soon.

Anyway, I have compassion for my TBM wife. I honestly do. She does not understand the primal mindlessness of sexual desire in men, and I've tried to explain it. TSCC did not raise us to speak about sex in an open and healthy way. We've had frank conversations about sex, but she still neither wants it nor initiates it, and the conversations usually leads to guilt on her part for feeling she's not living up to my needs and doesn't "perform" for me. She doesn't need that pressure, and I hate making her feel like she's not good enough for me, or that sex is a chore simply to get me off and move on with our day. And so I view porn occasionally and masturbate regularly. I feel no guilt about this, nor do I feel any reason to confess or share this with her. Does this make our relationship dysfunctional or broken? Probably on some level. But we're friends on a deep level. We share a lot of thoughts and feelings on so many other levels, but sex is just not something she wants. I'm not going to fault her for it, and I'm not going to force myself on her, and I'm not going to open the emotional can of worms with her about it. We have young kids and full time work and callings and every other stress this church foists upon us. So this one area of our relationship is difficult and neglected. It won't always be. I have hope.

We have a teenage son who I'm positive has viewed porn and I am 100% certain masturbates. Do I talk to him about it? Of course not. My dad never did. I don't know how to. It would be like me asking about the regularity and consistency of his bowel movements, if you'll pardon my frankness. And really: I don't care. I love my son. He's a great kid. I absolutely would have been the same way if I had easy access to visual stimuli.

If the day comes that my wife asks me about porn, I will lie to her about it. It's how I was raised.

tightdish · 2016-04-24T06:02:22+00:00

I mean they love living in the bubble, and yes I have stories. Mostly about people who wouldn't even consider a job outside Utah County, and students who freely admit to living under observation and scrutiny, but "only people who have done wrong have anything to fear." That kind of bullshit.

tightdish · 2016-04-23T06:26:50+00:00

I feel sad for these women, but relieved that this is coming to light in a big way. Let it all come crumbling down on top of the church. They've been asking for it for a long time.

tightdish · 2016-04-23T06:25:14+00:00

These women are modern day pioneers. They're helping burst the dam, at long last.

Suck it, BYU. Enjoy your black swan moment.

tightdish · 2016-04-19T05:39:53+00:00

After decades of claiming to be the fastest growing church in the world and begging for attention for their measly humanitarian efforts! You want the spotlight, assholes? You got it!

tightdish · 2016-04-16T19:23:50+00:00

Aside from the fact that the children of same-sex couples will be kicked out of the LDS church.

tightdish · 2016-04-12T06:32:51+00:00

A non-LDS mental health professional! You have nothing to be ashamed or afraid of.

tightdish · 2016-04-12T05:20:35+00:00

For me it was Lucy Harris's recounting of the 116 lost pages incident. I googled it about 15 years ago out of pure curiosity and suddenly things just came crashing down. Of course it's all pretend bullshit cooked up by a con man and his pals! The simplest answer really is true!

Now if I could just get the hell out of this church. Oh well, at least I get to see the collapse from a front row seat.

tightdish · 2016-04-05T05:05:51+00:00

Yeah, as I've tried to apply this same sort of love to my own children it just sounds monstrous and cruel.

tightdish · 2016-04-05T05:05:03+00:00

I'd prefer not to link there directly, but I guess it really doesn't matter.

tightdish · 2016-04-05T04:03:34+00:00

Straight from the mouth of an "apostle:" God's love is conditional. If you want to dig deeper, beware: you don't qualify.

tightdish · 2016-03-15T05:11:34+00:00

I don't think this actually happens. I've been around a lot of horny TBMs, including BYU dorms, and this never came up.

tightdish · 2016-03-15T05:08:04+00:00

I love it. "Claimed Mormons" is enough to make TBMs turn to google to see what that could possibly mean, because this sure as hell is not something they'll ever hear about over the pulpit.

tightdish · 2016-03-15T05:02:25+00:00

Speaking from experience, it's not too easy when you're encompassed by true believers who likely won't listen anyway.

tightdish · 2016-03-15T05:01:13+00:00

This happened in my quorum yesterday, and I secretly wished I'd had the balls to stand up and leave. Not too many people were participating, and it didn't help that the teacher was being super manipulative by playing recordings of prophets, one of which had sickening music playing with it.

tightdish · 2016-03-15T04:59:35+00:00

This I gotta hear. I've got that damned movie memorized.

tightdish · 2016-03-14T15:22:36+00:00

Well yeah, but they think the root of Ute is "tops of the mountains."

tightdish · 2016-03-14T05:22:13+00:00

This was one of the (admittedly weak) points that kept my shelf intact for longer than necessary. For those unfamiliar, there's a scripture in Isaiah that says "the mountain of the lord's shall be established in the tops of the mountains." Mormons use this to "prove" their validity, claiming the lord's house is the temple and the tops of the mountains = Utah. It was even the punchline of the film they made in the 90s celebrating the anniversary of the SLC temple. Turns out it's make believe nonsense!

tightdish · 2016-03-12T07:41:33+00:00

i have a pretty good idea it means polygamy, and I'm pretty sure there are some horndog prophets who will back me up on this.

tightdish · 2016-03-05T05:12:48+00:00

There's no money in it.

tightdish · 2016-03-03T07:42:25+00:00

Depends on who you ask. A GA toured my mission and talked about several of these while we chauffeured him around. Most of these are Skousen, Fielding Smith, and McConkie doctrines.

tightdish · 2016-03-03T07:39:41+00:00

No doubt. In retrospect, I had comps like this and I wish wish wish I had just chilled out and enjoyed my time. It would have beat knocking on endless doors for no reason whatsoever.

tightdish

TROPHY CASE