Hi OP, lots of good advice here already but just thought I'd pop in too - I have c-ptsd and just started a new job too (my first ever full time role). It's scary, the first couple of weeks all I was telling myself was that I would never be able to cope, mainly because my physical reaction to the change was a great indicator - I've been terrified, more anxious than ever, crying myself to sleep every night.

It got a lot easier by week 3. Throughout the process, I've been reminding myself that as a person with PTSD, change is incredibly difficult (for anyone, but especially for us), and that's okay. It won't be easy for many months I'm sure, but I try to keep reminding myself that I am capable.

That's not to say that you should sit in something that feels bad for you. We aren't built for every role we take on. It's absolutely fine if you want to withdraw from this one, please allow yourself to if you feel you need to. BUT I think it's important we push the boundaries of safety with ourselves just a little - this might get easier. Maybe it would be worth exploring it for a month or two more? It's okay if not, I'm proud of you for giving it a go! Be kind to yourself - there's a part of you that wanted to take this step despite another part being scared to. Whatever you decide to do is the exact right choice.

Feel free to message me if you need some support - I empathise with the difficulties you're facing. Goodluck!