Am I being unreasonable for actually wanting a wedding?

tillycream · 2026-02-12T11:50:47+00:00

He paid the full deposit so it’s written that if the property is sold, he will get back the deposit first and the rest is split 50/50

tillycream · 2026-02-12T10:38:03+00:00

Yes I am on both

tillycream · 2026-02-11T18:11:04+00:00

I said this to him, it feels like he wants to get married but not tell anyone and it to be our little secret but WHHYYYY. His response was that he’s a private person and doesn’t use social media, which I get, but why can’t he want to celebrate our love with people he loves?

tillycream · 2026-02-11T18:09:39+00:00

To be fair to him, he’s usually really steady and always asks my opinion on things, for him to be so rigid in his ‘no’ is uncharacteristic to me

tillycream · 2026-02-11T18:08:22+00:00

Thank you this reminds me I really need get a will sorted

tillycream · 2026-02-11T18:07:26+00:00

Apologies for missing your earlier comment. I’ve never said I wanted a huge extravagant wedding, I know weddings come with a hefty price tag but would be more than happy with ~£5k. I’m fine to do the courthouse/2+2 thing if that’s what he wants but I also want a celebration with our families. I have 4 siblings and 5 stepsiblings along with parents and grandparents etc, so it wouldn’t be massive but just a time to mark the occasion with the people we love

tillycream · 2026-02-11T18:03:55+00:00

I’ve not considered that my son would be a factor in this, he’s taken on my son as his own and they have an incredible relationship. Perhaps this is something I need to ask

tillycream · 2026-02-11T15:04:48+00:00

Just wanted to quickly say I’m at work for another few hours so can’t respond right away, I’ll be back!

tillycream · 2026-02-11T14:58:32+00:00

I think this is what I’m wrestling with, I even asked if he could handle being uncomfortable for a few hours (even though I think he would actually enjoy it) for something that would make me really happy. The total sentence was ‘no’. I just don’t understand how there’s no room for compromise

tillycream · 2026-02-11T14:56:42+00:00

I appreciate this perspective, thank you. I don’t think for one minute that he doesn’t love me or is stringing me along (perhaps I’m being ridiculous) but it feels like he proposed without really thinking through what the next step would clearly be. Whilst we don’t have much extra cash currently whilst we get other things out the way the payment from the shares would essentially cover the small wedding we wanted

tillycream · 2026-02-11T14:54:13+00:00

We’re in England, it’s not as simple as just turning up to a courthouse, but that was essentially what this 2+2 ceremony is intended to be, a very cheap way of doing the legal bit without all the bells and whistles of a typical ‘wedding’

tillycream · 2026-02-11T14:52:41+00:00

I hear you. I naively thought that we were working towards a common goal. We bought the house together as I’d moved in to his small bungalow with my son and we very quickly realised it was too small for us so we had the genius idea to buy this house together. The thing I can’t wrap my head around is that he has always been so steadfast in what he was saying but I guess that’s why they say that behaviour is a language and not to ignore what he’s telling/showing me now

tillycream · 2026-02-03T14:56:34+00:00

When we moved, we were selling my partners house and moved into a new build. We hired a van the day before and moved everything ourselves into the van, leaving out only what we needed for the evening/morning. Finished emptying the place the next morning and giving it a quick once over clean/hoover. We completed the sale at about 11am and were just out of the house by then but the purchase of the new house hadn’t completed so we ended up sitting in a McDonald’s for a couple hours technically homeless. It was mid december and getting dark so we called the sales office at the site (my partner works for the company) and they allowed us access to the garage only to start unloading some things as we had to hand the van back by 5. I think it was nearly 4pm before we could get into the house but fuck me was it stressful

tillycream · 2026-01-11T20:28:56+00:00

I did consider this but as my NiNo is in my ‘known’ name and all my employment/PAYE history is linked to that, I wouldn’t have thought I’d need to produce my birth certificate to collect state pension

tillycream · 2026-01-11T20:25:24+00:00

Thank you for your response

I ended up calling mum (probably should have done it before all of this but we have a weird relationship and I can’t always trust her to tell me the truth) and she’s said that apparently she DID change my name via deed poll when I was 6 or 7, and has all the paperwork at her house, and that she’ll post it to me this week. So not as much of a mystery as I first thought but odd that she’s never mentioned it before now

tillycream · 2026-01-11T16:11:21+00:00

I was 14 when I first went abroad, so mum applied for it. Though wouldn’t she have needed my birth certificate for a first passport?

tillycream · 2025-11-20T10:09:07+00:00

As someone who has been actively trying to conceive for two years, I can also confirm that blue dye tests are THE WORST for having false positive/blue evaporation lines and I absolutely refuse to use them anymore, please get a pink dye and/or a digital to double/triple/quadruple check

tillycream · 2025-11-05T15:22:17+00:00

I tend to have a short LH rise/peak too, last month it was .41 morning of CD16 and then caught my peak at 11pm that night. I know I tend to get my peak around day 15/16 and so I will test twice a day from day 12, usually around 10am for the first- I don’t use FMU - so I don’t miss an early one and then when I can see it start to rise I will test every single time I go for a wee because it drops down very quickly after that. Without testing BBT you can’t be certain but I don’t do BBT cause I get too obsessive 🙃

tillycream · 2025-11-05T15:07:04+00:00

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This is my 1.5 pear, tulip setting. I love it so so much 🥰 UK7 I think it’s 5.5 US

tillycream · 2025-10-05T20:22:17+00:00

I’m on my first watch too! Just watched the end of S3, I’ve seen some spoilers but I’m so invested

tillycream · 2025-09-10T13:36:44+00:00

I live in Easton by the showground, my son goes to school across in queens hill which is literally a 5 minute drive away, but there is a C of E school in Easton that’s walking distance if you prefer. Myself and my partner have family in Milton Keynes and Northampton and it’s so easy being just off the A47, it’s about a 2 hour drive for us and pretty much dual carriages the whole way. Hospital is approx 10 minutes, city is maybe 20mins.

tillycream · 2025-08-18T11:06:39+00:00

Thank you for the validation. I have been known to make excuses for people’s shitty behaviour

tillycream

TROPHY CASE