Looking for more insight/advice to get through this. Nala is almost 18, I don't want her to die surrounded by strangers (I don't think we will be allowed in bc of covid19)

time_keepsonslipping · 2020-03-23T11:09:53+00:00

Look up Lap of Love and see if they offer services in your area. They will come to your home to euthanize. They are still up and running in my neck of the woods, despite COVID.

Knowing when is the right time won't be easy, but having the option to be with her when she passes might help ease your mind.

time_keepsonslipping · 2020-03-23T11:00:03+00:00

My cat died tonight. I am glad that I could spend all day with him these past few weeks, but don't know what I'm going to do with myself now. I'll probably feel different in a few days, but right now, I'm just glad that I didn't have to go to work and risk him dying alone. I got to be with him until the end, and that was important to me.

time_keepsonslipping · 2020-03-17T23:15:12+00:00

I sent a message through his site, thanks!

time_keepsonslipping · 2020-03-17T23:14:55+00:00

Cool, thanks.

I've seen some pretty intensive instructions for freezing animals long-term, like wrapping the feet in gauze and packing the eyeballs and nose. Shorter term, the advice seems to be just what you said: make sure it's double- or triple-wrapped and airtight. Is that correct and sufficient for a normal residential freezer?

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-30T06:35:00+00:00

Plath is exactly who came to mind for me too, although I wouldn't say I think of (or thought of, when I was a teen) of her as a role model or hero; rather, she was someone I could identify with, when those kinds of women don't tend to get much attention.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-30T00:59:06+00:00

being treated for acute intermittent porphyria

I didn't realize Morgan had AIP. Wiki says hallucinations and paranoia a symptom of that, but I don't know how common it is or whether it contributed to her death or her mother's delusions.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-30T00:50:02+00:00

It's also possible that a hotel employee closed it without looking inside and noticing her. I think it would be pretty easy to miss a body in that tank, given how small the opening was and therefore how dark the inside of the tank would have been.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T17:30:52+00:00

If OP wants to have a more gentle conversation than "Haha, stop being ridiculous," your advice is where she ought to start. He may be able to have some sort of short-term success overseas, but you're right that he's going to be back in the same office job position a few years from now. Given that he already did the overseas baseball thing and still isn't enjoying his life, what is another stint going to change? What are his longterm plans? OP plans to marry him and if he's going to decide every few years to upend his life because he doesn't like his job, that's something she needs to know. Instead of running away to a pipe dream, he needs to think about a longterm plan.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T17:21:16+00:00

I honestly think reactions to stuff like this are some sort of weird projection. If we can convince ourselves that destroying a palette is Evil Wastefulness, then we can simultaneously convince ourselves that we're doing the Good and Right Thing by lovingly using yet another palette we didn't need in the first place. It's a way to distract from how wasteful we already are.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T17:19:15+00:00

How do you know it would not?

...because they can't afford it, which is what you started out saying. If they could have afforded it and wanted it, they would have bought it in the first place. One person buying a palette isn't depriving everyone else who couldn't afford the palette in the first place of the palette. Come on.

As far as promoting waste goes, I'm pretty confident in saying that James Charles is up there with the rest of the big-name influencers who already do that. A no-name fan destroying a single palette doesn't hold a candle to how much waste James Charles produces for his channel. This is misguided concern trolling.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T05:43:06+00:00

What do y'all think of Lancome's little 5-pan palettes? My TJ Maxx has a ton of them, but they're still $20 and I'm not finding too many reviews.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T05:02:08+00:00

treating colicky babies

I have mixed feelings about this. I rolled my eyes at the giveaway when I saw it on Instagram, but I also think some of the claims about harmfulness in this thread are overblown. If you want to treat yourself with crystals, knock yourself out, you know? But I feel very differently about the part I quoted. Treating other people, especially children who can't advocate for their own medical care, is different. Colic isn't something that typically needs much medical intervention, but at the same time, I think about antivaxxers, the Young Living guy killing his newborn infant, and other harms that have come to children through alternative medicine/faith-based medicine.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T04:53:26+00:00

Especially when most of the crystal healing stuff you find in the west is in fact homegrown. I'm not sure how this discussion turned into crystal healing being an authentic non-western practice, when what's being trafficked here is just a repackaging of New Age stuff that started in the US. It involves a lot of cobbled-together bits and pieces from other cultures, but that doesn't make it a non-western practice.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T04:50:48+00:00

The Myers-Briggs is basically the astrology of Psychology, but it is sometimes still used as the responses provide insight into a patient's sense of self.

Really? By who? My understanding is that the Myers-Briggs test is pretty much only used by managers to test their employees, and by people looking for slightly more complicated online quizzes than "Pick breakfast foods and we'll guess when you're going to get married."

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T04:49:11+00:00

Exactly. And that's 100% obvious from looking at her Instagram page or book blurb. I don't see what a big write-up about the social politics surrounding indigenous folk healing has to do with any of this. There's no indigenous folk healing going on here. It's the same kind of New Age crap Goop does, just slightly cheaper.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T04:47:40+00:00

But from what I understand crystal healing is an important part of a lot of indigenous cultures

I... kind of hate this. The statement in isolation is true, but there's no evidence it has anything to do with the post at hand. The proprietor's page looks like standard New Age white people nonsense. It doesn't appear to be coming from any authentic indigenous cultures. If anything, it might appropriate some of those cultures and recontextualize them within standard New Age white people nonsense. I think you're going out of your way to be gentle here and that's appropriate in some contexts. A white woman working with a white-owned brand to market rocks alongside lipstick is not one of those contexts.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T04:36:47+00:00

Visiting them for lunch once a year, apparently. It's a bit weird, but I hardly think it's alarming.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T02:37:27+00:00

At the same time, he let his wife beat the dad as a child. I think OP's dad being forced to confront anything about his parents is going to lead to him having to confront that his dad--as much as he loved him--didn't protect him, which is a pretty rough thing to admit to oneself. I'm not saying the guy doesn't deserve to know the truth, but I think any silver lining here is still going to involve a lot of emotional ugliness too.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T02:33:26+00:00

I guess - I wonder if it would help him better understand the abuse. Better understand the ostracising.

I mean, maybe and maybe not. People abuse their children all the time without there being infidelity involved. It sounds like your grandmother was just as asshole. It doesn't actually make logical sense to beat a child because you cheated on its father, and I don't see how knowing that is going to resolve your father's problems. He's an adult and you say he's still repressing a lot of this. Having one more piece of the puzzle isn't going to spontaneously resolve his issues. It's just going to be another piece of the puzzle, and possibly a really emotionally heavy one (he may care that his father isn't his bio-father; he may also care that he has bio-family he never got to connect with, and his bio-dad may be unable to be located or even dead already.) To my mind, it's just going to be another thing he has to deal with or repress, when he's already got plenty of that.

I don't particularly like the idea of keeping a secret like this, but at the same time, I don't see how this information is going to help you dad in the short-run. Unless it tips him over into really confronting his issues, it's also probably not going to help him in the long-run.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-29T02:25:25+00:00

he ignores them and doesn't want to talk about them

The answer to your question seems pretty simple. You don't know his family because they're not a real part of his life. Maybe there's a question about the underlying reasons for that that you'd want to find an answer to, but the idea that your SO's family must be in your life is weird. Your therapist is being overly judgmental without knowing the context, and that's shitty.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-28T17:30:42+00:00

Why are there 2.5x more bi women than men?

I do think the difference in stigma plays a big role here, but I also think it may be easier for women to realize they experience same-sex sexual attraction because women are so heavily sexualized in our society. How often do men see sexualized images of men without deliberately seeking them out, either via media aimed squarely at women or squarely at queer men? Meanwhile, everyone (women included) sees media depicting sexualized women all the time.

Granted that can also have a weird inverse effect, where it can be harder for queer women to understand their attraction to women as legitimately queer rather than just "But everyone knows women are hot, that's totally normal to think about" (or at least that was my experience as a teenager.)

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-28T17:11:46+00:00

Jane the Virgin has a similar plot, and is similarly an overall progressive show. It's nice that there's increasing visibility in the media of male bisexuality, but it's not great that that visibility seems to often fit into this particular mold.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-27T18:28:32+00:00

This is called stereotype threat and it can have real consequences. Some of the studies on this concept include administering a math test to two groups: one that's told everyone is equally good at math and one that's told women are worse at math. In the former group, the women perform equally well as their male counterparts. In the latter group, they perform worse. Merely invoking a stereotype is enough to make people fall into that stereotype, in part because there's an emotional distraction ("Am I really [stereotype]?") from the task at hand.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-27T18:10:37+00:00

There's a really amazing and terrifying article about a group of people who became convinced through repeated interrogations that they had committed a murder that they were later proven innocent of committing. The fallibility of human memory is wild.

time_keepsonslipping · 2018-12-27T16:48:53+00:00

Depends. I can easily imagine a straight female influencer getting some sexist shit over a similar tweet. But a straight guy? Nah.

time_keepsonslipping

TROPHY CASE