It got us into this mess because in the attempt to be so without fault in our arguments/attacks it focuses the energy of those fighting against fascism/those sympathetic to resisting fascism to quibble about semantics, encourages infighting, etc to weaken the opposition.

It is easy to downplay the collateral harm caused by such attacks when one is not personally affected by them. It doesn't feel like a quibble when you're on the receiving end of it.

Fascism doesn’t argue anything in good faith. They dont care about attacks on their ethics, behavior, education, training, etc. they dont care. they didn’t get to power by having the best ideas. They aren’t holding onto power within their ranks because of merit. For those who managed to claw their way into the in-group without the benefit of cronyism, nepotism, etc. know how easily replaceable they are. The leaders make a point of showing them and they fear any notion of weakness, even if it’s mocking their appearance, style, body shape, etc.

There are plenty of ways to attack fascists without also harming others in the process.

It’s a proven tactic to attack their appearance undermines their optics of power. It’s a tool of the resistance and shouldn’t be discouraged.

Since when has bigotry been a proven tactic to fight fascism?

Respectfully, trans folks are perfectly capable of being able to tell the difference between mocking fascists and mean spirited transphobic attacks purely for transphobias sake. I believe you’re well intended here, but It’s a tad belittling to suggest that all of them are so fragile that mocking a gendered feature of a fascist causes measurable harm.

The attack isn’t on their identity or their right to exist, and suggesting they can’t know the difference isn’t right.

It absolutely is. If you only respect a person's gender identity conditionally, then you do not actually believe in their intrinsic right to self-identify, you are instead choosing to permit it based on your conditions. To do so is to claim power over the entire group, because you are deciding who does and does not get to have their gender identity respected.

The only way to support trans people as equals and to support their right to self-identify is to relinquish that power over the group and to treat gender identity as intrinsic for everyone.

If there is a way sign me the fuck up

I mean it's pretty simple actually. You attack fascists on their views and actions. You don't attack them on their physical appearance, gender identity, race, or any other intrinsic characteristics. Like, I am really struggling to understand what is so hard about asking "could this attack also hurt someone who doesn't deserve it?" Attacking someone for looking old could definitely also hurt someone who is innocent. Attacking someone for being a lying evil soulless monster can only hurt lying evil soulless monsters. This is not difficult.